Gathering Gold

Sheryl and Victoria unpack how children—and adults—can become pigeonholed as “the smart one,” “the athlete,” “the good girl,” or “the creative one,” and what happens when those identities start to feel limiting. Through personal stories about parenting, childhood passions, sibling dynamics, and evolving career paths, they reflect on the importance of allowing young people the freedom to grow, pivot, and surprise us. The conversation touches on intrinsic motivation, the difference between genuine passion and externally imposed expectations, and how gifts and talents can both ground us and become tangled with self-worth. Sheryl and Victoria also explore the tension between encouraging perseverance and honoring a child’s authentic sense of self, sharing examples of how identity can unfold in unexpected ways. Along the way, they discuss multi-potentiality, growth mindset, perfectionism, gender expectations, and the deep human need to feel seen, valued, and free to contain multitudes. References: Other Gathering Gold episodes: You Do Not Have to Be Good Films: High School Musical (2006) Whiplash (2014) Books: Mindset by Carol Dweck Music: “Mirrorball,” by Taylor Swift TED Talk: Why Some Of Us Don’t Have One True Calling

In today's episode, we are exploring the emotional intensity of the middle school years, reflecting on both the pain and the “gold” of this stage—revisiting experiences of loneliness and self-consciousness alongside connection, self-discovery, and courage. We discuss how shifting attention from family to peers can deepen feelings of rejection, while also opening the door to more meaningful friendships and self-expression.  We share how important it was for us to feel truly seen at this age—especially by supportive adults—and how small moments of recognition became lifelong anchors.  In searching for the gold within them, we discover how these "middle" years are not just a time to endure, but a formative, tender, and transformative chapter that shapes who we become. References: “Don’t You Dare Teach My Daughter to Fear the Forest” by TY Chambers Dire Straights podcast episode: "Jeffrey Epstein, Les Wexner, and the 90s Mall" The Genius Myth by Michael Meade

When the topic of spiritual practice comes up, what comes to mind? Going to a religious service? Connecting with nature? Meditating? There are so many ways to connect of a sense of something bigger than ourselves. There is one vital pathways that is sometimes overlooked: Connecting with each other. In today's episode, we're exploring how connecting with other people -- both real and imaginal, in our memories and in the here-and-now -- can help us grow stronger and softer, safer and braver, more present and more expansive. References: Other Gathering Gold and Conscious Transitions work: Gathering Gold episode on "Spiritual Longing" Sheryl's course "Open Your Heart: A 30-Day Course to Feel More Love and Attraction for Your Partner" Comedy John Mulaney on "Stranger Danger" Tig Notaro's "Hello, I have cancer" Quotes Mr. Rogers: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Maya Angelou: “I’ve had a lot of clouds, but I have had so many rainbows…..and one of the things I do when I step up on a stage, when I stand up to translate, when I go to teach my classes, when I go to direct a movie, I bring everyone who has ever been kind to me with me.” “Black, White, Asian, Spanish-speaking, Native American, Gay, Straight, everybody. I say come with me — I’m going on this stage. Come with me. I need you now. Long dead….you see.. so I don’t ever feel, I have no help.” “I’ve had rainbows in my clouds.and the thing to do it seems to me… Is to prepare yourself so that you can be a rainbow in somebody else’s cloud." William Blake: “I sought my God and my God I couldn't find;I sought my soul and my soul eluded me;I sought to serve my brother in his need, and I found all three;My God, my soul, and thee.” Music "People Get Back Up" by Mae Martin Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?

"I don't like change." Many highly sensitive souls have uttered these words at one time or another. Perhaps we've said them recently, as we watched neighbors move away, or babies grow into toddlers, or winter slip into spring. Maybe we haven't dared speak them aloud since childhood, decades ago, when someone rolled their eyes in response and told us to buck up. In today's episode, we are exploring the contours of change--the good, the hard, the heartbreaking, and the joyful. How can we meet our growing pains and open our hearts with tenderness and compassion amidst the inevitable winds of change? References: Related Gathering Gold Episodes... ...about Time: The Passage of Time How to Slow Down Time   ...about Receiving: Why It's Hard to Receive Good Things   ...about Objects: Artifacts of the Heart Bonus episode: Emotional Support for Spring Cleaning    Books ACT Made Simple by Dr. Russ Harris Great Expectations by Charles Dickens   Poetry “Mysteries, Yes” by Mary Oliver   Films Toy Story (1995)   Music “La La Lu” from Lady and the Tramp “All Things Must Pass” by George Harrison “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac “A Change is Gonna Come” by Sam Cooke Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?

Note: We've decided to take a pause on the topic of romantasy, but we may come back to it down the road :) In this special episode, we are sharing our recent webinar with Daev Finn, an artist, psychotherapist, and Sheryl's loving husband.  After years working as a visual effects artist, Daev realized it was time for a change, and he made the transition to become a psychotherapist. Here, he reflects on the personal demons and dreams that pulled him from and to this path, the influence of art and myth on this work, and the process of unlearning much of what he was taught about what it means to be a man.  You can find out more about Daev's work at his website and contact him by email at [email protected] References: Psychology & Myth Jung & the collective unconscious The Hero’s Journey – Joseph Campbell Bill Moyers Special: Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth Daev's Writing "Attending to Unfinished Business is the Work of a Lifetime" Films Hamnet Train Dreams Music "On the Nature of Daylight," from The Blue Notebooks Related Gathering Gold and Perennials Episodes The Father Wound Fairy Tales by the Fireside Self-Care, Community-Care with Dr. Kesha Moore Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?