England’s ramshackle cricketers arrive in Australia and, true to recent form, start losing to part-time state teams. The cricket seems secondary to the drinking as England lurch from the Bundaberg Rum Distillery to parties with the America’s Cup yachtsmen in Perth. “We were rubbish, truly rubbish”. As the late cricket writer Martin Johnson wrote at the time: “There are only three things wrong with this English team. They can’t bat, they can’t bowl and they can’t field.” Of course, at the time, he was totally correct. Just a little premature. On the eve of the first test, things take a surprising turn thanks to a legend of English sport...

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