Elder My City, with Tim Schmoyer

Most Christian men (me included) know how to confess sin. I have the words down. But what happens when the pressure lifts, the consequences fade, and my heart quietly returns to normal? In this episode, I notice that Pharaoh makes two confessions that sound like real repentance, and yet he hardens again the moment relief comes. From there, I wrestle with the difference between worldly grief and godly grief, why “Jesus is Lord” was never meant to be a cheap phrase, and why staying soft-hearted usually requires other men close enough to exhort me before sin deceives me.

Most Christian men have been handed one format for engaging scripture: find a quiet place, open your Bible, pray alone. But what if that's not the only legitimate way or even the best way for how God wired many men? In this episode, Tim explores midrash, the ancient Jewish practice of wrestling with scripture in community. From the temple courts to the road to Emmaus to Paul reasoning in the marketplace, the Bible is full of men engaging the Word together, out loud, with conflict and questions welcome. If your quiet time is producing information but not transformation, this episode might reframe the problem.

I've set up our family to not need anyone. We homeschool, homestead, and handle everything ourselves. It felt like leadership until 1 Corinthians 12 started pressing me to consider a different perspective. In this episode, I wrestle with the uncomfortable idea that self-sufficiency might just be isolation with better systems, and what it could mean for our family to actually depend on the body of Christ.

Your wife already knows the man you are. The question is whether you're brave enough to ask her. We discuss three questions to ask your wife that can turn your marriage into a training ground for eldership.

Most men make decisions by asking, "What's the smartest choice?" But what if your decisions aren't just problems to solve, they're training for something you haven't been shown yet?In this episode, I walk through three real decisions I'm facing right now — an investment property, relationship priorities for a family of nine, and whether to compete in a BJJ tournament against my doctor's advice — and why I stopped treating them as problems and started treating them as formation.I break down the difference between how most men approach decisions and how an aspiring elder thinks about them, and I introduce a framework I've been developing that changes not just what you decide, but what your decisions are actually for.If you want the full six-question framework, subscribe to Elder My City at read.timschmoyer.com and you'll get "The Elder's Decision-Making Framework" guide in your welcome email.✉️ Subscribe to get my free guide, "The Elder's Decision-Making Framework: A Step-By-Step Guide for Godly Leadership."📝 Read ⁠⁠the full post for this episode⁠⁠ and leave a comment on my Substack.🎙️ Leave ⁠⁠a voicemail for a future episode⁠⁠.CHAPTERS00:00 - Welcome & The Challenge of Decision Making01:00 - Example 1: Investment Property Decision03:25 - Example 2: Family Time & Relationships04:53 - Example 3: BJJ Tournament vs Doctor's Advice05:30 - How Most Men Make Decisions06:36 - A Different Operating System for God-Fearing Men08:49 - The Elder's Questions vs Common Questions12:16 - Decisions as Training for Kingdom Responsibility15:19 - Applying the Framework to Real Decisions17:33 - The Elder's Decision Making Framework (Free Guide)19:40 - Being More Than a "Good Dad"21:15 - Closing & Call to Action