Mary H. K. Choi stops by the show for our annual meeting of the dead dads club and a conversation about her new book Pool House. We discuss the major changes in Mary’s life that informed the writing of this book, including her autism diagnosis and the loss of her dad, and the ways that this round of self-promotion has led to new appreciation for her community. Plus, why 12-step is genius, why 20 year-olds are awesome and why Marilu Henner’s still got it. 00:00:00 Mary H.K. Choi and How TV shows get recovery wrong 00:04:15 Reconciling with a Ghost Dad 00:08:45 Road trips with ashes and heaven visions 00:13:10 The Hunted Gawker Era and new beginnings 00:17:35 The social cost of being an introvert 00:21:55 Selling a difficult book in a palatable world 00:26:25 Learning to endure the discomfort of being perceived 00:30:50 Catching the creative glide 00:35:15 12-step programs are like a life guidance counselor 00:39:40 Diagnosed with autism in my 40s 00:44:05 Reframing trauma as just catching strays 00:48:30 The revelations that come from Sleep Googling #MaryHKChoi #PoolHouse #LateAutismDiagnosis #AlAnonRecovery #TheSmallBow #SelfPromotion #HealingTrauma #PowerofIntroverts Topics: Social cost of book promotion How The Bear gets Al Anon wrong Reconciling with grief Late-life autism diagnosis impact Reframing trauma as catching strays Baggage as ballast for survival Forgiveness as death of the past 12-step as a life guidance counselor Processing the hunted Gawker era The honesty of sleep googling New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098