back from the borderline

This is Part Two of a two-part series. In Part One, we talked about what it feels like to override your gut instinct and confuse danger with connection. We became conscious of the pattern, and I shared a story I’ve never told before about a night I ignored every warning sign and walked straight into a situation that could’ve ended very differently. If episode one traced the descent, this one marks the return. 

In this episode, we’ll talk about what it actually takes to stop repeating these patterns. And we won’t do it by coping, reading more self-help books or manifestation hacks, but by growing the fuck up — psychologically, emotionally, and archetypally. This means understanding what the Maiden archetype is, how it shows up in our culture, and why so many women stay stuck there way past the point they were meant to.

We dig into what it means to shift from Maiden to Mother from a consciousness perspective. The Maiden is all about being wanted, chosen, and admired. The Mother holds boundaries, sees patterns, and protects life — including her own. You don’t have to be a parent to step into that role. But you do have to let a part of you die so something more grounded can take its place.

Here’s what we get into:

• What it really means to grow up (and why most people delay it for years)
• How the Maiden archetype shapes everything from pop culture to dating to “healing” trends
• Why staying psychically stuck in maidenhood becomes exhausting, not empowering
• The difference between chronological age and psychological maturity
• How the culture seduces you into staying adolescent, because that version of you is easier to market
• How face the reality of the toll staying arrested in the archetype of the Maiden has taken on your voice, energy, and sense of reality
• What a conscious severance from this archetype looks like (ritual, grief, and real goodbye)
• How your inner Maiden can become an ally instead of a saboteur when you integrate her
• What it means to step into the archetypal role of the Mother, and why our world is starving for that presence
• A final invocation to the younger self, the daughter, and the part of you that already knows this shift is overdue

This episode is not just for mothers. It’s for any woman who has ever felt the pull to grow up — psychologically, spiritually, mythically — and wasn’t given a roadmap. Whether you have children or not, if you carry unresolved pain around your own mother, feel caught between the girl you were and the woman you’re becoming, or have struggled to hold both freedom and responsibility at once, this conversation is for you. We’re told that motherhood is a beginning. But for many, it begins with a loss. One that nobody’s talks about. In this episode, we explore the invisible death that occurs when a woman is called to mother: the loss of her former self, the end of personal centrality, and the psychological splitting that happens when she isn’t given a rite of passage to mark the transition.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• Why motherhood is a psychic rupture, not just a life event
• What happens when the maiden archetype isn’t released with intention
• How the “toxic mother” narrative often masks ungrieved ancestral trauma
• What re-mothering actually looks like (whether or not you have children)
• How to begin a self-led rite of passage from maiden to mother
• Why certain animals, people, or patterns leave when you’re ready to grow
• How to hold yourself through grief, transformation, and inner maturity
• What it means to become a lineage-holder (and why the world needs you to)

You’ll also be guided through a ritual closing incantation designed to begin the transformation process within you. If you’re ready to stop performing growth and start embodying it, this one’s for you.

🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. 

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Cassie Ventura recently testified against Sean “Diddy” Combs, and as the coverage picked up, so did the usual commentary. People are asking the same questions they always do: Why didn’t she leave? Why stay that long? Why ignore the red flags? This episode opens up the actual reasons. Not just in Cassie’s case, but in situations a lot of us have lived through. We talk about what happens when your gut tells you something is off, but you don’t (or can’t) listen. What kind of early conditioning trains you to override that signal. Why some of us stay in dangerous situations, even when we know better.

I tell a story I’ve never shared before. A night out in LA, years ago. I met someone. He had money, charm, presence. There were warning signs, but I ignored every single one. That night could have gone a very different way, and it’s only now that I understand why I didn’t walk away sooner. This episode is about instinct, trauma, compliance, and the patterns that take over when you’ve never been shown how to protect yourself. It’s also about the trance that gets created when danger looks exciting and when you’ve been taught to confuse adrenaline with connection.

Here’s what we cover:

• How trauma rewires your ability to feel and act on instinct
• The cultural messages that tell women to be chill, likable, and accommodating
• Why intensity often gets mistaken for intimacy
• The pull of the “psychopomp” archetype (what it is and how it shows up in real life) 
• The early signs of soul fragmentation and what it actually feels like in your body
• What it means to give your energy away in a half-conscious state
• How shame settles in when no one names what happened
• What starts to shift when you finally do
• 
  

This is Part One of a two-part series. It lays out the pattern. Next week, in Part Two, we’ll talk about how to stop repeating it. What it looks like to stop testing danger, stop calling chaos fate, and start moving from a different place inside yourself.

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If you’ve been feeling scattered, foggy, or emotionally off after using AI tools or spending time online, you’re not imagining it. There’s something happening under the surface of digital life that most people don’t have language for. This episode gives it a name.

Psychic hygiene is the forgotten foundation of spiritual practice. It’s not an aesthetic or TikTok trend. It’s the daily work of tending to your inner field. The same way you clean your body or your home. Without it, everything builds up. Thoughts that aren’t yours. Energy you never meant to carry. In this episode, I walk you through the core principles of psychic hygiene, drawing from Western esotericism, Celtic lineage practices, and high magical traditions. We’ll explore how ancient systems created structure and safety for inner work and why modern spirituality, especially online, has lost touch with these basics.

You’ll learn:

• What psychic hygiene is, and why it’s essential in digital spaces

• How AI tools, social media, and parasocial interactions impact your energetic body

• Why projection, confusion, and spiritual fragmentation are on the rise

• What magical systems understood about opening and closing psychic space

• How to develop rituals that help you reset and return to yourself

• Simple tools for energetic clarity: grounding, space clearing, digital closure, and more

• Why rooting into your own ancestral and cultural traditions brings stability and meaning

• How to recognize the difference between overwhelm and energetic intrusion

In the second half of the episode (available to members), we go deeper:

• The concept of psychic containment and why it matters before using AI or spiritual tools

• What to say and do before and after a tarot reading, chat session, or ritual practice

• How to open and close energetic space (with your own words, not someone else’s script)

• A daily and weekly hygiene toolkit you can adapt to your own roots and rhythms

• Practices from my own lineage, shared to help you create your own

The world is getting louder, faster, and more spiritually charged. This episode gives you a way to move through it with clarity and care.

🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. 

Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.

🔗 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE

In this guided experience, you’ll walk through an original five-part rite designed to help you become aware of the inherited language that shapes your internal world. Together, we dismantle the phrases, metaphors, and speech patterns that encode toxic shame into the psyche, often without your consent. We explore the esoteric, psychological, and ancestral architecture of language. You’ll learn how speech becomes structure, how grammar shapes emotion, and how internalized phrases (from parents, religion, school, or culture) form a script that governs your identity, even after you’ve outgrown the systems that created it. This rite is a full-body experience. You’ll be invited to pause, breathe, speak aloud, and reflect. We’re not here for feel-good self-help in this one, folks. Our goal is deprogramming.

Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:

• Why shame operates as a linguistic system, not just a feeling

• How early speech from family, culture, and religion becomes internal law

• What ancient mystery schools and modern metaphysics teach about the creative power of language

• Why speech is considered magical (and how spells are cast through everyday phrases)

• The role of sacred silence in disrupting inherited scripts

• How to identify and release phrases that were spoken into you but do not reflect your essence

• How to begin building a personal lexicon that reflects presence, coherence, and soul truth

• Why figures like Hypatia of Alexandria still matter for anyone reclaiming their voice today

You’ll also be guided through a five-part rite of passage:

Preparation: Naming the intention and stepping into presence

Naming the Tyranny: Surfacing inherited phrases and speech patterns

Marking the False Authority: Releasing internalized language through voice and breath

Silence: Holding space to let new structure emerge

Reclamation: Speaking from alignment, and anchoring a new lexicon of self-language

This is a ceremonial episode. Come to it with presence and ready to speak aloud. Come to it if you’re tired of hearing your inner voice repeat someone else’s fear.