Lies, Love, and the “Trash” in Queer Culture
<p>Jai the Gentleman, dive into some seriously taboo topics: the little lies we tell ourselves, the journey to happiness, and, of course, dating horror storie.</p><p>This episode, we’re reacting to a harsh critique of gay culture that claims the Black gay community has turned “liberation into a members-only club”. The critique highlights exclusion based on masculinity, fitness, skin tone, and designer labels.</p><p><strong>Are We Really “Trash”?</strong></p><p>I challenge the idea that our culture is “trash.” While acknowledging that fatphobia, femmephobia, transphobia, and homophobia are real and exist even among queer people , I assert that if all you see is trash, you’re choosing to stay in the “trash part of the pool”.</p><p>As Black gay men, we have the freedom to pick and choose the rules by which we govern ourselves. We are elite , we are culture, we are art, and we are magic. If we focus on the greatness, we will receive it back. You can always move to the “metaphorical suburbs of gay culture”.</p><p><strong>Dating, Intentions, and the Atlanta Check-In</strong></p><p>We also break down a dating segment from <a target="_blank" href="https://youtu.be/ywuVhqTzNUY?si=TCz2-9x9Mu7-e7lT">Hopeless Romantic Society</a>, which features what I call the “most Atlanta date” ever —complete with questions about credit score, homeownership, and health insurance tier.</p><p>I discuss the importance of checking a man’s <strong>intention</strong> early in the relationship. Life speaks to you first in whispers, and we need to listen to those subtle signs, like a low integrity of word, instead of just waiting for huge red flags.</p><p>Ultimately, the gworls just want to be loved, but love is hard when you’re carrying unresolved issues. When you find a Black man to love you, and your puzzle pieces fit, you can’t beat that.</p><p><p>Dear Black Gay Men’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://dearblackgaymen.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2">dearblackgaymen.substack.com/subscribe</a>
