The Worst Movie Ever Made

This week we get into the holiday spirit by watching Santa With Muscles. It’s about Santa. With Muscles! Anything outside of that, we’re not so sure. This is our third movie on the pod to feature Hulk Hogan, but the first one that doesn't show him ripping a car door straight off its hinges. Maybe the car doors were the friends we made along the way … Hardly a Hollywood holiday hit has Hulk Hogan hurling hoodlums, heaving haymakers at henchmen, and having half the har-hars as the Holocaust! Orphan impropriety! Children cheering for virtuous violence! Clause Cunnilingus! Bob knows a crystal expert! Strokin’ during cave time! Mad scientist mafia! Ragtag researchers ransacking! Hogan hops in a hummer with his holiday horde! Deputy bazookas? Angels laughing at the damned! Exploding rose hands, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com

This week, we get into Pregnant by the Pastor: The Aftermath, and we’re not sure if it’s a sequel or the first installment because even Tubi doesn’t know. We don’t even know what this movie is about, who it’s for, or what its many layers of dense symbolism even mean. Oh boy, here we go ...Various vixens with vague values, valor or virtue vie for Vicar's viscosity void of virginity, vestments and vespers! Tyler Perry approach! Visual shorthand via hat! A ton of tongues! Meeting with the impregnator! Part-time pastor rap partners?! Talking shop over mustard and water! Side rimmer jobs? Graveyard chicanery! Sensible sound design, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com

This week, we get into 1996’s Primal Fear, Edward Norton’s debut role, and Richard Gere’s best performance. It’s like that 2010 movie, Stone, but without the cornrows. We’re celebrating a good movie week before we get lost in the sauce again, so let’s take a deep breath, and talk about one of the best legal thrillers of the 90s.Ready? Set! Go!!!Martin motions that murderous minstrel mister has been mistakenly marked as the murderer of a Monsignor, and must mar the malicious materiality, mainly due to molestation of minors, and misguided men and maiden! Marty meets Marty! Janet isn’t into gerbil play! Bishop bedroom bedlam with a sweet little bloody boy! Marty bursts into Janet’s lunch! Tickling the jury’s doubt pocket, and much, much more on this week's episode of The BEST Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com

This week, we get into Nicolas Cage’s The Surfer. Shoutout to Jeff for emailing us the suggestion. We all love Nicolas Cage more than life itself, so it’s only fitting we revisit the legend after doing Prisoners of the Ghostland two weeks ago. CAGE FOR DAYYYYS! Little production note for y’all: Rob has a new supercomputer, and for some reason his keyboard is louder than god, and apparently his office chair needs to be hit with some WD-40. Sorry about that, let’s just call it ambiance… Soul surfing snobby scumbag sociopaths sabotage, shame, scold and spite the son of a sandy and sea soaked suicidal slip ‘n slider! Cage’s craw gets stuck! I hope it’s anCHOVY! Fixing for a quick little shit-me-up! Sexual surf and branding rituals! Delirious with rat-spit infused wounds! Scally gets slick in the swim shorts, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com

Heyyyyy, no video feed this week guys. We had an unspeakable amount of behind-the-scenes issues that were unfortunately not able to be rectified. Thanks Norbit ... you broke us. We may never recover. Here we go! Unfunny, fake, flabby female flogs, flips, and feuds with four-eyed fellow and his frail framed female friend! Can you cut off a butthole? Blasian Face, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made. www.theworstmovieevermade.com