LOVERS by shan

In this episode of Lovers, Higher Learning host and former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay shares the deeply personal story of what it was like to experience intimacy both sexually and emotionally for the first time after divorce. After nearly a decade of being with only one partner, that she met while being the Bachelorette, Rachel walks us through the fears, emotions, and expectations she carried into that moment, from questions of safety and vulnerability to the quiet pressure of “doing it right” after such a long chapter had closed. She reflects on what that experience taught her about trust, desire, and emotional presence, and how those lessons reshaped her understanding of intimacy moving forward. Though she isn’t with the person from that first post-divorce experience, Rachel shares why she remains grateful for what it revealed about her needs, her boundaries, and her capacity for connection. She also opens up about how those insights are influencing the relationship she’s in today, offering a grounded, honest look at what intimacy can become after loss, change, and reinvention. This conversation isn’t about sex for shock value. It’s about safety, growth, and learning how to meet yourself again after everything you thought you knew about love has shifted. ———Follow Rachel LindsayInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/therachlindsay/  YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@HigherLearning  Podcast — Higher Learning with Van Lathan & Rachel Lindsay → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/higher-learning-with-van-lathan-and-rachel-lindsay/id1515152489  Official Website → https://www.rachellindsayofficial.com/  Rachel’s Book — Miss Me With That: Hot Takes, Helpful Tidbits, And A Few Hard Truths → https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57895042-miss-me-with-that?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=vFiuBJ3vpY&rank=1  Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by my husband Jared Brady to tell the story of the exact day we decided to call our relationship an open relationship. Want to take the Relationship Style quiz I mentioned in the episode? Click HEREhttps://www.loversbyshan.com/quizzes In this episode, Shan Boodram and Jared Brady share intimate details from the early days of their relationship that led to them choosing to label their love as an open relationship. If your first reaction to “open relationship” is “so… cheating?” you’re not alone, and this conversation is also for you. Cheating isn’t about a specific behavior, it’s about breaking the rules of the relationship you agreed to play by, which is why it’s important to clearly define YOUR rules together.  This episode explores why people seek structured relationships even without exclusivity, what commitment actually looks like when it isn’t defined by romantic restriction, and how accountability, emotional safety, partnership, and love can exist outside traditional scripts. This isn’t an episode about convincing anyone to open their relationship. It’s about clarity, consent, and understanding why the rules matter more than the label. MasterClassHave you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at masterclass.com/lovers. Follow JaredInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbradyYouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships. Damage doesn’t have to be.In this episode, we explore what actually separates fights that bring couples closer from fights that quietly turn lovers into enemies. We talk about the moment arguments go sideways, why so many conflicts feel bigger than the issue at hand, and how couples can stay on the same team even when they fundamentally disagree.Our guest, Touré Neblett, draws on decades of navigating high-stakes, contentious conversations both publicly and privately to share what he’s learned about emotional regulation, repair, and conflict inside a long-term marriage. This conversation focuses on how disagreement can exist without contempt, and how learning to fight differently can fundamentally change the trajectory of a relationship.Follow TouréWebsite → https://toure.com Toure Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/toureshow/ Instagram YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo-SwvkGbQgDt3oXfASPPJQ youtube.comPodcast → Touré Show (Apple/Spotify) Books → Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? What It Means to Be Black Now; I Would Die 4 U: Why Prince Became an Icon; Soul City; Never Drank the Kool-Aid; The Portable Promised Land; Nothing Compares 2 U (available on Amazon and major booksellers)Want more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comReceive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

<div>In this episode, I share the deeper psychological lessons inside the new Diddy documentary, not to debate guilt or innocence, but to understand the <em>human systems</em> that create cycles of power, harm, silence, and attachment. This isn’t a Hollywood story or an industry story. It’s a human story. The documentary made Diddy feel more human rather than less, and that’s what makes it so unsettling. When you look closely at the incentives, the grooming, the rewards, the fear, the validation, and the primal drives behind the behavior, you start to see a spectrum that exists in all of us — the universal instincts for status, belonging, intimacy, dominance, and connection.<br> <br> I also talk about Cassie, Kirk Burrowes, and the partners who stayed inside that ecosystem, not to blame but to understand the psychological gravity of coercive control. When we understand the forces acting on people — the love-bombing, the fear, the dependency, the identity fusion — we gain clarity on why people stay, why people participate, and why some people break free. This video is ultimately about human nature, accountability, restraint, and how to build relationships where love and power don’t collapse into each other.<br> <br> If you or someone you care about has experienced sexual assault or abuse, you are not alone. For confidential, 24/7 support from trained specialists, visit RAINN: <a href="https://rainn.org/">https://rainn.org/</a><br> <br> In an emergency, dial 911 or seek help from someone you trust.<br> <br> <br> <strong>Want more Lover?</strong><br> Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → <a href="http://loversbyshan.com">http://loversbyshan.com<br> </a>Receive the weekly Love Letter → <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter">http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter<br> </a>Join the Lovers Community → <a href="https://www.loversbyshan.com/community">https://www.loversbyshan.com/community<br> </a>Explore quizzes and worksheets → <a href="http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes">http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes</a> </div>

Did you know, in 2023, more than 39,000 people were diagnosed with HIV in the United States and six territories, with Hispanic and Black individuals each accounting for more than a third (Source. CDC)In this episode of LOVERS, Shan sits down with Jonathan Van Ness for a conversation about receiving an HIV diagnosis, the years he kept it private, and the moment he decided he wanted the story to come from him. Jonathan shares what it felt like to catch himself holding back during interviews, how choosing to speak changed his relationship with his own truth, and the sense of relief that followed once he stopped protecting something that shaped so much of his life.They also talk about the realities of HIV today, why knowing your status matters, and how tools like PrEP fit into the larger picture of staying informed and reducing stigma.Follow Jonathan Van NessWebsite → https://jonathanvanness.com/Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/jvnYouTube → https://www.youtube.com/jvnJVN Hair → https://jvnhair.com/Podcast → https://jonathanvanness.com/podcasts/Books → https://jonathanvanness.com/books/Want more Lover?Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.comReceive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.