momplex with Scottie Durrett

I'm going to be taking a short pause from momplex. This has been such a special space for me, and I'm so proud of what we have created together. Right now, I'm taking some time to reset and get clear on what's next so I can continue showing up here in the best way possible. This isn't goodbye, it's just a pause. Thank you for being here, for listening and for being a part of this community. I'm so grateful for you, and I'll be back soon. Until then, you can always find me on Instagram and you can always send me an email. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I explore why I sometimes overreact to my kids and how it’s often not about them, but about my past. When something happens to my child—like a bad grade, getting benched, or being left out—it can catapult me back to my own teenage wounds. My nervous system, through neuroception, scans for danger and pulls old memories from my internal “storage unit,” reacting as if I’m still that younger version of myself. I explain how parts of us can freeze in time during overwhelming experiences and how “protector parts” like the perfectionist, overachiever, or people-pleaser show up to keep us safe. These parts mean well, but they can lead me to control, fix, or overhelp my kids instead of letting them build resilience. I share practical ways to pause, ground my nervous system, and ask, “How old do I feel right now?” That awareness helps me bring my adult self back to the driver’s seat, support my kids through their challenges, and tend to my own younger parts with compassion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is a heartfelt conversation between me and clinical psychologist, professor, mom, and author Dr. Alissa Jerud about the emotional side of parenting that no baby book ever prepared us for. I open up about my own journey as a high-functioning, overachieving mom who thought if I just did everything “right,” my kids would be okay and my pain wouldn’t matter. Alissa shares how her book Emotion Savvy was born out of her own struggles with her daughter and how trying to change our kids is often really an attempt to escape our own discomfort—anxiety, guilt, overwhelm. We talk about over-scheduling, perfectionism, teens slamming doors, and the hard practice of not fixing everything. At the core, this episode is about learning to notice our emotions, accept them, care for ourselves, and model healthy emotional regulation so our kids feel safer being fully themselves. Connect with Alissa here: www.alissajerud.com; Her book Emotional Saavy Parenting https://www.alissajerud.com/parenting-book-1 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I get real about something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: what the heck happened to my marriage? I speak directly to moms who feel like they’re living parallel lives with their partner—amazing teammates and parents, but disconnected lovers. I share how the mental load, cognitive overload, and constant fight-or-flight nervous system state slowly push intimacy, desire, and playfulness to the bottom of the priority list. Using my own story of realizing my husband and I had slipped into “roommate” mode, I walk through how awareness—not shame—is the first step to change. I then offer five practical ways to start reigniting the spark: seeing each other again through deeper questions, ditching logistics-only conversations, rebuilding connection through touch, having brave “spicy” conversations, and creating things to look forward to together. This episode is a reminder that you’re not “just a mom”—you’re a whole woman who deserves a relationship that feels alive, loving, and deeply connected. Here’s Scottie’s 5‑point list from the episode, ready for your show notes: 1. See each other again Ask real questions beyond logistics: - “What are you dreaming about lately?” - “What do you wish we had going on in our life right now?” - “What’s something you miss from when we first met?” 2. Ditch the logistics energy Go on a date with a "no-kid-talk rule". Even 30–45 minutes at a local spot where you’re just two adults again—not administrators or co-CEOs of the household. 3. Touch each other a lot Rebuild body trust and connection with casual, frequent touch: - Hugs - Hand-holding - Sitting closer - Playful brushes and booty grabs in passing 4. Have the spicy convo Be bold and vulnerable. Send a text or start a conversation that says, “I miss you” or “I want more connection,” instead of just talking schedules and to‑dos. 5. Create something together Make a **shared future** that’s not about the kids: - A couples’ bucket list - A weekend trip - Plans for your life together after the kids leave the house Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I open up about the “good mom trap” and why so many of us feel exhausted, resentful, and disconnected even though we’re doing “all the right things.” I explain that our real issue usually isn’t time, it’s permission—our nervous system has learned that constant busyness equals safety and goodness, while rest and pleasure feel selfish or even dangerous. Drawing on polyvagal theory, I share how past experiences and subconscious patterns train us to stay on the hamster wheel, chasing praise and productivity while slowly abandoning ourselves. I walk you through small, tolerable steps to show your nervous system that it’s safe to slow down and choose yourself—in five-minute breaks, moments of saying no, or doing something purely because you enjoy it. Ultimately, this isn’t just about self-care; it’s about modeling nervous system regulation for our kids and reclaiming our own joy, identity, and aliveness. You make sense, and you matter. Helpful Resources for you: You Make Sense Podcast with Sarah Baldwin The Artist Way by Julia Cameron Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices