The Black Mother Wound Podcast

Y'all, the holidays are coming, and if you have a complicated relationship with your mother or family, you already know this time of year can bring up a whole lot of stress, guilt, and anxiety. But sis, we're doing things differently this year. In this episode of the Black Mother Wound Podcast, we're getting practical about how to navigate the holidays without sacrificing your emotional well-being to keep everybody else happy. This is part one of a two-part conversation, and we're focusing on strategy. I'm walking you through how to make intentional decisions about where you spend your holidays, who you spend them with, and how to set boundaries that actually protect you. We're also talking about why you don't have to choose between attending uncomfortable family gatherings and spending the holidays alone feeling miserable. You have options, and it's time to start creating holiday experiences that feel good for YOU. Because keeping the peace at the expense of your own peace? Sis, that ain't peaceful. In this episode, we're talking about: Deciding what you actually want for the holidays before family pressure and guilt take over. The difference between wanting family connection and feeling obligated to participate. Creating new holiday traditions that don't revolve around unhealthy family dynamics. Setting specific boundaries around family gatherings, uncomfortable conversations, and personal information. Why having your own transportation, an exit plan, and emotional support matters. Preparing for the emotional aftermath of family gatherings and making space to take care of yourself. Stay Connected Next week, we're getting into the emotional side of the holidays, including grief, loneliness, and the pain of not having the family relationships you wish you had. I'd love to hear how you're planning to do things differently this holiday season. Send me a DM on Instagram at @blackmotherwound and let's talk about it. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share the podcast, and download the free Mother Wound Healing Guide through the link in the show notes. Remember, sis: You are allowed to make decisions that protect your peace, even when your family doesn't understand or agree with them. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's my birthday, y'all! Your girl is officially 52, and I'm taking some time to look back at my life, my healing, and everything I've learned along the way. And one thing I know for sure is that the more you heal, the more you realize there's still some shit to work through. In this episode, I'm reflecting on what I wish I knew about myself when I was younger, the things I'm most proud of, and what I want for this next chapter of my life. I spent so many years believing I wasn't smart enough, lovable enough, or capable of making good decisions. I thought my mother's opinion of me determined my worth, and I wasted a whole lot of time trying to be a good daughter instead of figuring out who I wanted to be. But at 52, I'm in a different place. I'm giving myself permission to change my mind, want different things, and trust myself even when I don't know exactly what's coming next. And I'm also realizing that healing isn't something you can perfect by reading another book or listening to another podcast. At some point, you gotta get out here and practice that shit in real life. In this episode: • What I wish I understood about my mother wound when I was younger • Why your mother's inability to love you properly doesn't determine your worth • The years we lose trying to be good daughters instead of choosing ourselves • Learning to recognize your intelligence, innocence, and value • Why healing requires practice, not just information • What I'm most proud of after everything I've been through • Giving yourself permission to change your mind at any age • What I want for myself in this next chapter of life One of the biggest things I'm taking into 52 is the understanding that I'm in the sunrise of my life, not the sunset. I still have things I want to do, places I want to go, and parts of myself I haven't fully explored. And I'm not interested in spending another decade questioning whether I'm good enough to have them. So whether you're 25, 52, or 75, I want you to know that you can still choose yourself. You can still change your mind. And you can still build a life that actually feels good to you. And as always, don't let no motherfuckers play in your face. Not even you. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sis, when was the last time you changed your mind about something without feeling guilty, questioning yourself, or worrying about what somebody else would think? For many of us who grew up with emotionally unavailable, controlling, or overly critical mothers, changing our minds can feel irresponsible. We've been conditioned to believe that once we make a decision, we have to stick with it, even when it's no longer what we want. But who said that? In this episode of the Black Mother Wound Podcast, I'm sharing a lesson I learned as a little girl that has stayed with me for almost 45 years: Every woman has the right to change her mind. I'm also sharing some personal changes I'm considering in my own life and how healing my mother wound has helped me become more comfortable making decisions based on what I actually want, without needing to justify them to anybody else. We're talking about perfectionism, people pleasing, self-trust, and why having the freedom to change your mind is an important part of reclaiming your autonomy. And yes, we're talking about accountability too, because being able to do what you want doesn't mean you get to avoid the responsibilities that come with your choices. In this episode, we're talking about: How growing up with a controlling or emotionally unavailable mother can make you afraid to change your mind. Why changing your mind doesn't mean you made a mistake. The difference between making decisions for yourself and making decisions based on other people's expectations. Learning to trust your desires, even when they change. How honoring your choices helps rebuild trust with your inner little girl. Why personal freedom also requires accountability, responsibility, and integrity. Stay Connected I'm also excited to share more about The Daughterhood, a documentary short exploring what becomes possible for Black women as we heal our mother wounds. We're preparing to launch our crowdfunding campaign, and I'd love your support in helping bring this project to life. Check the show notes for more information. Follow the conversation on Instagram at @blackmotherwound, and don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share the podcast. And remember, sis: Nothing has to be wrong with what you have for you to want something different. You have the right to change your mind. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ask me anything (link) Y'all, I need us to have an honest conversation about what it actually takes to heal your mother wound. Because one thing I'm noticing from the questions you send me is that many of us are still looking for a way to protect our peace, set boundaries, and become independent without having to make some really uncomfortable decisions. And sis, that's just not how this works. In this episode of the Black Mother Wound Podcast, I'm answering three listener questions about dealing with a manipulative mother, protecting your children from unhealthy family dynamics, living at home while trying to heal, and navigating the guilt that comes with setting boundaries. We're talking about why you can't control your mother's behavior, why becoming emotionally and financially independent is so important, and why setting boundaries means accepting that some people aren't going to like your decisions. I'm also challenging you to examine the ways you may still be showing up as a daughter seeking your mother's approval instead of an adult woman taking authority over her own life. Healing your mother wound isn't about figuring out how to make everybody happy. It's about learning to show up for yourself, protect your inner little girl, and make the hard choices necessary to build the life you want. In this episode, we're talking about: Protecting yourself and your children from a mother's harmful behavior. Why distancing yourself from your mother doesn't mean you can control what she says or does. The emotional and financial challenges of living with your mother while trying to heal. Why boundaries are about changing your behavior, not forcing someone else to change. Learning to manage guilt, grief, and rejection without abandoning yourself. Taking responsibility for your life and reclaiming your autonomy. Stay Connected Have a question about healing your mother wound? Submit it through the Ask Me Anything link in the show notes for a chance to have your question answered on the podcast. I'm also working on The Daughterhood, a documentary short exploring who we get to become as we heal our mother wounds. Learn more about the project and how you can support its production through the link in the show notes. Follow us on Instagram @blackmotherwound or @jenniferarnise and don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share the podcast. Remember: You can't control how other people respond to your boundaries, but you can decide how you're going to show up for yourself. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week’s episode was recorded live at the 2026 Mental Wealth Expo hosted by Charlamagne Tha God and the Mental Wealth Alliance. I’m joined by licensed therapist and author Minaa B for a conversation about the Black mother wound, sibling relationships and what happens when the mother who hurt you becomes the mother who needs your care. We talk about: -How the mother wound impacts self-trust, confidence and people pleasing -Why siblings can grow up in the same house and have completely different experiences -Favoritism, competition and emotional neglect between siblings -How childhood roles follow us into our adult sibling relationships -Caring for an aging or toxic mother without abandoning yourself -Why caregiving does not have to mean sacrificing your mental health -Setting boundaries with family while still showing compassion -Letting go of the need to prove you’re a “good daughter” Healing your mother wound is not about fixing your relationship with your mother. It’s about healing the relationship you have with yourself. Keep the conversation going on Instagram @BlackMotherWound. More about Minaa B: Minaa B. is a highly sought-after licensed therapist, author of Owning Our Struggles, and creator of The Siblinghood Theory, a relational framework that examines how sibling and peer relationships shape how we navigate belonging, conflict, and connection throughout life. An expert in her field, Minaa has been featured in numerous media outlets, including The TODAY Show, BBC, CNN, and more. She hosts This Feels Familiar, a podcast that explores the relational patterns that keep people stuck, and serves as a relationship expert for eharmony. Minnab.com Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.