The Luella Jonk Show

In this second conversation with Licensed Professional Counselor Eric Zeitler, we tackle one of the most frustrating dynamics in modern Catholic marriages: leadership. Or more accurately, the lack of it. Women tell me constantly that their husbands won't step up. Men tell Eric they don't know how—or worse, that they've tried and been shut down.Eric doesn't sugarcoat it: leadership in marriage requires two things. First, a willingness to sacrifice—to fall on the sword first, to put your comfort second. Second, the ability to make a final decision and commit to it. But here's what most people miss: good leadership isn't authoritarian. It requires curiosity, communication, and humility. It means listening to your wife, understanding what's happening in your home, and making decisions together even when you're the one who has to take final responsibility.We also dig into why so many men resort to sending their wives Instagram reels or YouTube videos instead of actually talking. Spoiler: it's not because they're trying to be hurtful. It's because they don't know how to ask for what they need. They're comparing themselves to other men, feeling powerless, and searching for a script that will finally make them feel heard.I'll walk you through:✅ What leadership actually means for a husband—and why it's not about being a tyrant✅ Why fear (not laziness or apathy) is the real reason men won't step up✅ How women unknowingly shut down their husband's authority—and what to do instead✅ The role of recognition and appreciation in helping men feel seen (and why it matters more than you think)✅ Why social media is poisoning marriages with unrealistic expectations on both sides✅ How Eric and his wife navigated major career risks during pregnancy—and why trust mattered more than stability✅ The discipline dilemma: why consistency between spouses is more important than being "the tough parent"Whether your husband feels paralyzed by fear, you're frustrated by his silence, or you're both stuck in a pattern of criticism and withdrawal, this conversation offers real, practical insight into what's breaking down—and how to rebuild with humility, curiosity, and faith.🔔 Remember: Marriage is risk. Leadership is risk. But stability doesn't come from avoiding risk—it comes from trusting each other enough to take it together.========================================================Eric's relevant links:Website: https://imagodeihealinginstitute.comInstagram: @imagodeihealinginstitute

In this first part of a two-part conversation, Licensed Professional Counselor Eric Zeitler opens up about his innovative approach to therapy that honors both psychological science and Catholic faith. As founder of the Imago Dei Healing Institute, Eric has dedicated his practice to helping clients heal deep wounds while respecting their deeply held values—a balance many Catholics struggle to find in traditional therapy settings.Eric shares the powerful story that launched his mission: watching someone close to him refuse therapy after a counselor dismissed their faith during grief work. This experience shaped his commitment to creating a space where faith and healing work together, not against each other. His approach goes far beyond just being "faith-friendly"—it actively integrates Catholic anthropology with cutting-edge trauma therapies.I'll walk you through:✅ What Image Transformation Therapy is and how micro-exposure techniques can heal addiction and trauma at the root✅ Why processing the feeling behind addictive behaviors is more effective than willpower alone✅ How childhood trauma blocks our ability to receive God's love (and what to do about it)✅ The surprising connection between masculine "toughness" and deep vulnerability—and why real strength requires both✅ Why anger is often a man's default communication style and how to help him find alternatives✅ The critical role of breathing and self-regulation in breaking destructive patterns✅ How Catholic values shape therapeutic goals without turning therapy into spiritual directionWhether you're searching for a therapist who respects your faith, struggling with unresolved trauma, or trying to understand why you can't seem to "just trust God" despite wanting to, Eric offers compassionate insight into the healing journey. His work reminds us that acknowledging our wounds isn't weakness—it's the pathway to authentic strength and deeper relationship with God and others.🔔 Remember: Healing isn't about toughing it out alone. True courage means acknowledging where you need help, doing the hard work to understand your patterns, and trusting the process—even when it feels uncomfortable.========================================================Eric's relevant links:Website: https://imagodeihealinginstitute.comInstagram: @imagodeihealinginstituteNote: This is Part 1 of 2. In Part 2, we'll dive deeper into how to practically integrate Catholic faith into the healing process.

In this solo episode, I'm addressing something that's been showing up constantly in my therapy room—and frankly, it's been irritating me more and more. Husbands are sending their wives viral videos that essentially say: "This is why I'm losing attraction to you. This is what you're doing wrong."And I need to talk about why this isn't helping anyone.I'll walk you through:✅ Why sending your wife a video that blames her destroys communication before it even starts✅ The dangerous message behind "men pull away because women lose their softness"✅ Why understanding someone's unhappiness doesn't justify abandoning your marriage vows✅ The truth about men being "visual" and why boundaries aren't insecurity✅ How shaming women for having emotions won't lead to better conversations✅ What my husband and sons actually said when I showed them these videos✅ Why performative femininity designed to impress men doesn't help women at all✅ How to respond when your husband sends you one of these videos (without starting World War III)Here's what I want you to hear: Yes, women have blind spots. Yes, we can be defensive, overly emotional, and struggle with accountability. But so can men. And videos that frame everything as the wife's fault aren't designed to help marriages—they're designed to get views.If you've been sent one of these videos, you're not crazy for feeling hurt. If you've sent one, I hope you'll understand why it landed the way it did. And if you're creating content about marriage, please—stop performing for one gender at the expense of the other.Real growth happens when both people feel safe enough to be honest. Not when one person gets handed ammunition disguised as "truth."🔔 Remember: Marriage isn't about winning. It's about coming back to the table over and over again, even when things get hard. Choose voices that help you speak honestly inside your relationship—not retreat from it.

In this episode, I sit down with Brenda Prato, a canon lawyer from Malta who serves as Defender of the Bond in the Archdiocese of Liverpool and as a collegial judge in the Archdiocese of Armagh. As a married mother of two pursuing her doctorate in canon law at KU Leuven, Brenda brings both professional expertise and deeply personal insight to one of the Church's most misunderstood processes: marriage annulments.I'll walk you through:✅ What consent actually means in marriage—and why it's so much more than romance✅ The difference between covenant and contract in Catholic marriage theology✅ How canon lawyers examine everything from childhood to the wedding day to understand validity✅ Why "I got an annulment, so you will too" is a dangerous misconception✅ What marriage consummation really means (and why most people get it wrong)✅ The unique perspective women canon lawyers bring to tribunal work✅ When the Church can dissolve a valid marriage (it's rare, but it happens)✅ How pregnancy before marriage, doubts on the wedding day, and even being late to the ceremony reveal deeper truthsWhether you're navigating a difficult marriage, considering an annulment, or simply curious about what the Church actually teaches, Brenda offers clarity on a process shrouded in misconception. Her approach beautifully balances legal precision with pastoral compassion—she prays over every case, seeking moral certitude while honoring the human stories behind the paperwork.🔔 Remember: The point of annulment isn't to punish or judge—it's to uncover truth. And truth, even when painful, is always rooted in love.========================================================Brenda's relevant links:Website: https://brendaprato.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brenda-prato/

As I record this on December 30th, I'm not in the space of big resolutions or grand declarations for 2025. Instead, I'm sitting with what I've been noticing—about aging, about faith, about what actually sustains us when life shifts beneath our feet.At 57 (turning 58 in February), I'm discovering something unexpected: the less I try to control, the freer I feel. It's not that life has gotten easier—it hasn't. But I'm learning to trust more and grip less, and that shift has changed everything.In this New Year's reflection, I share what's been on my heart:✅ Why the 40s might be the hardest decade, but post-55 brings a different kind of freedom✅ The quiet loneliness I'm witnessing in widowed parents—and what it's teaching me about companionship✅ How my faith has deepened not despite suffering, but through learning to surrender it✅ Why material things matter less and lasting relationships matter infinitely more✅ The beauty hiding in ordinary moments—if we slow down enough to see them✅ What's changing with this podcast in 2025 (hint: fewer topics, more life)I'm also opening up about the realities of aging—the one-week vacation that now takes six days to recover from, the back pain that humbles me, the friend who just became a grandparent and made me realize that season isn't far off. These aren't complaints; they're invitations to pay attention to what we have while we have it.This episode isn't about answers or advice. It's about reflection, gratitude, and the shift that happens when you stop trying to have everything figured out. Consider this less like a lesson and more like sitting down for coffee together on a cold Sunday morning.🔔 Remember: Your life can change in seconds through a phone call, a text, an accident. What we have is precious. The question isn't whether we'll face suffering—it's whether we'll learn to surrender it and find meaning in the ordinary days we're given.Thank you for listening, for being here, and for walking into this new year with me. I'll meet you back here in January.