BLUE MUMDAYS

Season 3 of Blue MumDays is here, the parental mental health podcast smashing stigma and normalising the conversation on perinatal illness. Upcoming episodes include discussion on infant feeding trauma, breastfeeding advice, pre-eclampsia, baby loss, birthing during Covid, neonatal intensive care, coping with multiple miscarriage, postnatal depression in fathers and midwifery in a war zone. New episodes are released the first Monday of each month.*TRIGGER WARNING: *Discussion of baby loss and trauma*If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review, share and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.Follow us:InstagramTwitterJoin our Facebook GroupEmail: [email protected] 

As a special bonus for 'Blue Monday', wellbeing specialist Justin Eade of Glimpse ~ Moving Well shares 3 quick tips for making the most of a walk. He explains why time outside is so beneficial to us - no matter how short - and how a gym ball can help soothe a crying baby!Bringing together more than 25 years of experience with mind-body practices and holistic health research, Justin is also a nebosh accredited occupational health and safety specialist.He offers tailored and accessible workshops on topics like better sleep and rest, stress and anxiety, digestion, energy levels, joy and relaxation. These can be bespoke to your personal needs and interests and delivered on a 1-2-1 or group basis, either in person or online.Simple embodied practice & ideas to help people achieve a good work (and family) life balance.LEARN MORE:You can learn more about Justin and his work here: Glimpse Moving WellTwitter @glimpsei / Facebook / Pinterest.Get in touch: [email protected] / +44(0)7946519835If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.Follow us:InstagramTwitterJoin our Facebook GroupEmail: [email protected] MUSIC by Joseph McDade

The delightful AJ Silver joins me this week for an entertaining and very moving chat about their traumatic first birth experience, which led them to go on to train and work as a Doula. We discuss everything from the difficulties faced by same sex couples within the perinatal system, to the warmth of our pets tummies and killer flapjacks!*TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA*IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:[00:00] Teaser quote.[01:35] Introduction to AJ Silver of Queer Birth Club.[05:44] What a Doula actually does.[08:55] The important of advocacy for parents.[10:07] The birth outcomes of people using a Doula.[11:16] How doulas are generally regarded by the medical profession.[13:46] AJ's own experience of giving birth.[14:43] Their first birth - lots of intervention and feeling like a passenger.[16:20] Deciding to become a Doula following a much happier second birth.[19:07] Judgement - for being gay and being fat. BMI being used as a cut off for gallstone treatment.[23:55] The difficulties faced by same sex couples in the perinatal system.[33:54] How many in the LGBT+ community are at increased risk of experiencing negative perinatal health outcomes or difficulties, especially Trans or non-binary parents.[37:18] Lesbian couples registering births is increasing year on year by 15-20%, over the last 10 years.[38:56] Across the world, more and more people are coming out every year. Nearly half of 18-24 year olds in 2015 didn't consider themselves to be entirely heterosexual.[47:00] AJ's early days with their first daughter - "I felt like my body didn't work". Chest-feeding difficulties.[50:03] How the Doula training helped AJ come to terms with what happened with their first birth.[55:19] AJ's guide to killer porridge and flapjacks with grated apple!KEY TAKEAWAYS: Doulas support in pregnancy, birth and in the postnatal period by providing information, advocacy, and offering practical and emotional support to the whole family.Doula UKSame sex couples often face discrimination within the medical system, especially in terms of IVF and fertility.LGBT MummiesThere are barriers faced by non-gestational mums in terms of accessing parental services.The Queer Birth Club - how to get hold of AJ.If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.Follow us:InstagramTwitterJoin our Facebook GroupEmail: [email protected] NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:In Episode 17, Dr Rebecca Moore joins me for a Blue MumDays special discussing birth trauma. Rebecca is a perinatal psychiatrist, mother and co-founder of 'Make Birth Better', a collective of experts who offer support, training and campaign around birth trauma and vicarious trauma. One not to miss. SUPPORT:If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually). Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.Email: [email protected]: 020 3322 9900 Andy's Man ClubA non-judgemental talking group for menhttps://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/Email: [email protected] of Postnatal IllnessHelpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868Email: [email protected] chat online facility Best BeginningsFree NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offeringevidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancyand early stages of parenting.App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.Bi-Polar UKemail: [email protected] Trauma AssociationEmail: [email protected] CALMContact CALMon their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight) Cedar House Support GroupEmail: [email protected] (Liz Wise)Mobile: 07773 283556Contact: for families with disabled childrenSupport, advice and information for parents with disabled children.helpline: 0808 808 3555website: https://contact.org.uk/ DadsNet Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.Family LivesAn organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.helpline: 0808 800 2222website: www.familylives.org.ukFamily Rights GroupSupport for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.helpline: 0808 801 0366website: www.frg.org.uk Fathers Reaching Outhttps://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.FiveXMore A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. [email protected] parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.helpline: 0808 802 0925website: www.gingerbread.org.ukThe Hub of Hope A directory of mental health support around the UK.LGBT MummiesSupporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.Email: [email protected] Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)Email: [email protected] Maternal OCDPeer support available, email [email protected] toarrangeThe Motherhood GroupDedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and [email protected] Motivational Mums Club Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.Music Football FatherhoodOpen conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and [email protected] Women’s NetworkHelpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,and Bengali.Email: [email protected] chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.ukText: 07415 206 936 NetmumsNetmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic. NHSContact your local GP surgery.Call the NHS on 111or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helplineIf you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital. PANDASHelpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401Email support available – [email protected] PetalsPetals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancyor baby loss.Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/Email: [email protected]: 0300 688 0068 SamaritansTel: 116 123(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)Web: www.samaritans.orgEmail: [email protected] ShoutText SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer. Twins TrustTwinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. Allthe calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,alternatively email [email protected]: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html Tommy’sTommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.Web: www.tommys.orgHelpline: Tommy’shelpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questionsvia email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.Email: [email protected] MUSIC by Joseph McDade

Hannah Hardy-Jones, mental health advocate and CEO of the Kite Program, developed bipolar disorder after the traumatic birth of her daughter. In Part 2, Hannah talks about what inspired her to start Kite to support the mental health of others, the benefits of having bipolar and the hugely positive experience she had with the birth of her second child, Henry.*TRIGGER WARNING: BI-POLAR DISORDER*! Apologies for my Siamese cat Brandy miaowing in the background at points !IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:[00:00] Teaser quote[01:03] Introduction to Hannah Hardy-Jones (Part 2)[02:50] The affect Hannah's bipolar disorder has had on her husband Nick[04:35] Starting The Kite Program - a beautifully designed, emotionally supportive app for mums and beyond[08:57] The decision to have a second baby after her traumatic first birth - support in place[11:10] The risk of having a psychotic episode - nightmares about what could happen[11:45] A beautiful birth with Henry - immediate connection and a healing experience[13:01] How Alice's birth gave Hannah the gift of doing what she's doing now - looking back[14:55] "Can I do this again?" Considering having another baby after trauma or PND[19:55] The impact on Hannah's daughter Alice [21:22] "We talk about mental health" - building an emotional toolkit for her daughter[24:25] "My brain is a different brain" - life since her diagnosis - more creative and confident[25:50] The benefits of neurodiversity in creativity[27:05] Hannah's negative views on 'mental health' when she worked in HR, before her lived experience[30:14] Trying to help other people understand what it feels like - Vikki's experience[32:54] How looking at Google and forums can be damaging[34:26] These feelings don't last for ever - you will not always feel this wayKEY TAKEAWAYS:The pressure to have another child. It's okay not to want to have another child after perinatal illness.However with the right support in place you can have a really successful second birth and not necessarily be affected by mental health issues second time around.Bipolar can actually unlock positive parts of your brain.Don't look at Google or forums for advice, these can be triggering. These feelings are temporary - you will not feel this way for ever. Don't be afraid to ask for help.NHS info on Bipolar DisorderBipolar UK email: [email protected] Kite Program appIf you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.Follow us:InstagramTwitterJoin our Facebook GroupEmail: [email protected] NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:In Episode 14 we chat to the hugely inspiring Christina Brown of the Motivational Mums Club, on discovering she was pregnant again within months of having her first child and her subsequent experience of postnatal depression.SUPPORT:If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually). Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.Email: [email protected]: 020 3322 9900 Andy's Man ClubA non-judgemental talking group for menhttps://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/Email: [email protected] of Postnatal IllnessHelpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868Email: [email protected] chat online facility Best BeginningsFree NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offeringevidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancyand early stages of parenting.App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.Bi-Polar UKemail: [email protected] Trauma AssociationEmail: [email protected] CALMContact CALMon their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight) Cedar House Support GroupEmail: [email protected] (Liz Wise)Mobile: 07773 283556 DadsNet Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood. Fathers Reaching Outhttps://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads. The Hub of Hope A directory of mental health support around the UK.Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)Email: [email protected] Maternal OCDPeer support available, email [email protected] toarrange Muslim Women’s NetworkHelpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,and Bengali.Email: [email protected] chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.ukText: 07415 206 936 NetmumsNetmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic. NHSContact your local GP surgery.Call the NHS on 111or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helplineIf you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital. PANDASHelpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401Email support available – [email protected] PetalsPetals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancyor baby loss.Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/Email: [email protected]: 0300 688 0068 SamaritansTel: 116 123(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)Web: www.samaritans.orgEmail: [email protected] ShoutText SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer. Twins TrustTwinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. Allthe calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,alternatively email [email protected]: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html Tommy’sTommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.Web: www.tommys.orgHelpline: Tommy’shelpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questionsvia email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.Email: [email protected] MUSIC by Joseph McDade

Hannah Hardy-Jones, mental health advocate and CEO of the Kite Program, speaks bravely and honestly about how the traumatic birth of her daughter triggered bi-polar disorder. Instead of falling into depression, Hannah experienced intense highs within the first few days of giving birth on barely any sleep. And then came the devastating low.*TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA, BI-POLAR DISORDER*IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:[00:00] Teaser quote[00:46] Introduction to Hannah Hardy-Jones (Part 1)[02:26] Before pregnancy - career focus and vision boards![03:55] The pregnancy itself - trying to make everything perfect[06:31] Lack of information about the emotional strains of parenting - women aren't prepared[07:58] Bad morning sickness[09:07] The birth - being induced and an epidural that only worked on one side [12:15] Baby in distress - intervention[16:48] Body shock [18:12] Not getting that skin-to-skin contact [18:51] The affect on Hannah's husband Nick[20:26] After the birth - staying at a birthing unit[22:58] Starting to feel 'high' - reduced pain, not sleeping [26:16] Suspicions and secrets[28:00] Getting assessed - 10 signposts for having a manic episode[31:22] Visitors made things worse [32:10] The adult psych team called in - feeling a bit scared and out of control[34:05] 6 weeks to get a formal diagnosis [34:56] What goes up must come down -the crushing depression[37:40] Terrible anxiety and support from carers[39:35] Cyclical depression caused by reaction to the medication[40:23] Looking after Alice - a fear of passing on the distress[41:44] Turning a corner, a fresh startKEY TAKEAWAYS:Whilst there are plenty of courses offering practical information during pregnancy, there should be more to prepare mums for the emotional strains of motherhood. Partners can be affected by birth trauma too and may need support themselves.NHS info on Bi-Polar DisorderA manic episode can reduce perceived pain intensity or the perceived need for sleep.Bi-Polar UK email: [email protected] Kite Program appIf you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.Follow us:InstagramTwitterJoin our Facebook GroupEmail: [email protected] NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:In Episode 13 we continue our chat with Hannah Hardy-Jones. Hannah talks about adjusting to living with bipolar, having her second child and creating The Kite Program - a personal development app for mothers touted as a world-first.SUPPORT:If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually). Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.Email: [email protected]: 020 3322 9900 Andy's Man ClubA non-judgemental talking group for menhttps://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/Email: [email protected] of Postnatal IllnessHelpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868Email: [email protected] chat online facility Best BeginningsFree NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offeringevidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancyand early stages of parenting.App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.Bi-Polar UKemail: [email protected] Trauma AssociationEmail: [email protected] CALMContact CALMon their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight) Cedar House Support GroupEmail: [email protected] (Liz Wise)Mobile: 07773 283556 DadsNet Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood. Fathers Reaching Outhttps://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads. The Hub of Hope A directory of mental health support around the UK.Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)Email: [email protected] Maternal OCDPeer support available, email [email protected] toarrange Muslim Women’s NetworkHelpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,and Bengali.Email: [email protected] chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.ukText: 07415 206 936 NetmumsNetmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic. NHSContact your local GP surgery.Call the NHS on 111or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helplineIf you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital. PANDASHelpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401Email support available – [email protected] PetalsPetals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancyor baby loss.Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/Email: [email protected]: 0300 688 0068 SamaritansTel: 116 123(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)Web: www.samaritans.orgEmail: [email protected] ShoutText SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer. Twins TrustTwinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. Allthe calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,alternatively email [email protected]: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html Tommy’sTommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.Web: www.tommys.orgHelpline: Tommy’shelpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questionsvia email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.Email: [email protected] MUSIC by Joseph McDade