Some of us are big criers, some of us are not. But does it really matter? Today: Two tears experts who have experimented with this idea in the lab and in real life let us in on their insights. We hear from Reverend Benjamin Perry, author of the forthcoming book Cry Baby, who taught himself not to cry, then set out to get his tears back. Later, we’ll hear from Dutch Psychologist Ad Vingerhoets who has spent a large part of his career studying the meaning of tears. Special thanks to Patricia Angelin for her help with this episode. Attention More Than A Feeling fans! Our show is a finalist for a 2022 Signal Award for Best Original Score/Music, thanks to our banging theme song, “Kabhi,” by El Michels Affair and Piya Malik. You can give us your vote for the “listener’s choice” award – deadline December 22 – at this link: <a href="https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting#/2022/shows/craft/best-original-score-music" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting#/2022/shows/craft/best-original-score-music</a> Full show notes and more info about today’s guests available here: <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/tears" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/tears</a>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

<description>
 &lt;p&gt;Some of us are big criers, some of us are not. But does it really matter? Today: Two tears experts who have experimented with this idea in the lab and in real life let us in on their insights. We hear from Reverend Benjamin Perry, author of the forthcoming book &lt;em&gt;Cry Baby,&lt;/em&gt; who taught himself not to cry, then set out to get his tears back. Later, we’ll hear from Dutch Psychologist Ad Vingerhoets who has spent a large part of his career studying the meaning of tears.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Special thanks to Patricia Angelin for her help with this episode.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Attention &lt;em&gt;More Than A Feeling&lt;/em&gt; fans! &lt;em&gt;Our show&lt;/em&gt; is a finalist for a 2022 Signal Award for Best Original Score/Music, thanks to our banging theme song, “Kabhi,” by El Michels Affair and Piya Malik. You can give us your vote for the “listener’s choice” award – deadline December 22 – at this link: &lt;a href="https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting#/2022/shows/craft/best-original-score-music" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting#/2022/shows/craft/best-original-score-music&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Full show notes and more info about today’s guests available here: &lt;a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/tears" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/tears&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;See Privacy Policy at &lt;a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://art19.com/privacy&lt;/a&gt; and California Privacy Notice at &lt;a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;
 </description>

Some of us are big criers, some of us are not. Today: Two tears experts who have experimented with this idea in the lab and in real life let us in on their insights.

Why the Tears?

Today: a story about defusing conflict when emotions run high, from someone who's made it her life's work.See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

<description>
 &lt;p&gt;Today: a story about defusing conflict when emotions run high, from someone who's made it her life's work.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;See Privacy Policy at &lt;a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://art19.com/privacy&lt;/a&gt; and California Privacy Notice at &lt;a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;
 </description>

Today: a story about defusing conflict when emotions run high, from someone who's made it her life's work. We hear from Shneaqua Purvis, better known as Coco, the founder and C.E.O. of Both Sides of the Violence in Brooklyn, New York. After losing her sister to gun violence, Coco devoted her life to community safety. She tells us how she prevents and de-escalates a confrontation, and how anyone can handle, or move past, a conflict without feeling like they're ignoring something important about themselves. Plus, we hear Coco’s own surprising story of forgiveness.

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/coco

Coco’s Story: Ending Cycles of Harm

Maybe you want to dismiss your grudges, like they’re petty incidents. Or maybe you hold them tightly, and wear them like badges of honor. Either way, we have them. And we’re taking the view that there’s more going on with our grudges than we think.&nbsp; Today, we talk with Sophie Hannah, author of "How to Hold a Grudge," and meditation teacher Matthew Hepburn, for perspective on what triggers our grudges in the first place – and how holding them can actually be good for us. We also listen to some of your grudge stories.&nbsp; Full show notes available here: <a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/grudges" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/grudges</a>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

<description>
 &lt;p&gt;Maybe you want to dismiss your grudges, like they’re petty incidents. Or maybe you hold them tightly, and wear them like badges of honor. Either way, we have them. And we’re taking the view that there’s more going on with our grudges than we think.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Today, we talk with Sophie Hannah, author of "How to Hold a Grudge," and meditation teacher Matthew Hepburn, for perspective on what triggers our grudges in the first place – and how holding them can actually be good for us. We also listen to some of your grudge stories.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Full show notes available here:&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;a href="https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/grudges" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/grudges&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;See Privacy Policy at &lt;a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://art19.com/privacy&lt;/a&gt; and California Privacy Notice at &lt;a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;
 </description>

Today, we talk with Sophie Hannah, author of How to Hold a Grudge, and meditation teacher Matthew Hepburn, for perspective on what triggers our grudges in the first place – and how holding them can actually be good for us. 

How to Hold a Grudge

The interviewer becomes the guest! In this Ten Percent Happier / More Than A Feeling crossover conversation, Dan Harris interviews Saleem to find out what stuck with him from his&nbsp;investigation into dread. We also highlight some of the best advice that came from our expert guests, from how to get the most out of journaling and drawing our dread, to discovering some unexpected joy when we confront the things that scare us most.&nbsp;&nbsp; You can find The Dread Project miniseries, with five days of challenges for working with dread, in the <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/more-than-a-feeling/id1605198596" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">More Than A Feeling</a> podcast feed — or if you want to make it official, and get five days of emails that step you through the challenge, you can sign up anytime at <a href="http://dreadproject.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">dreadproject.com</a>. You can follow More Than A Feeling on Twitter at <a href="https://twitter.com/podfeelings" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@podfeelings</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp; Website for this episode is available at: www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/how-to-handle-dreadSee Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

<description>
 &lt;p&gt;The interviewer becomes the guest! In this &lt;em&gt;Ten Percent Happier&lt;/em&gt; / &lt;em&gt;More Than A Feeling&lt;/em&gt; crossover conversation, Dan Harris interviews Saleem to find out what stuck with him from his&amp;nbsp;investigation into dread. We also highlight some of the best advice that came from our expert guests, from how to get the most out of journaling and drawing our dread, to discovering some unexpected joy when we confront the things that scare us most.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;You can find The Dread Project miniseries, with five days of challenges for working with dread, in the &lt;a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/more-than-a-feeling/id1605198596" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;&lt;em&gt;More Than A Feeling&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; podcast feed — or if you want to make it official, and get five days of emails that step you through the challenge, you can sign up anytime at &lt;a href="http://dreadproject.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;dreadproject.com&lt;/a&gt;. You can follow &lt;em&gt;More Than A Feeling&lt;/em&gt; on Twitter at &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/podfeelings" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;@podfeelings&lt;/a&gt;.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Website for this episode is available at: www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/how-to-handle-dread&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;See Privacy Policy at &lt;a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://art19.com/privacy&lt;/a&gt; and California Privacy Notice at &lt;a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;
 </description>

Saleem tells Dan Harris some of his favorite takeaways from investigating Dread, in this crossover episode with Ten Percent Happier.

How to Handle Dread

Eco-dread. It’s one of the most overwhelming emotions listeners are struggling with. But we can’t just tune out and shut down. Not only because it’s untenable to live that way, but because the only way out is the biggest collective action the planet has ever seen. Nature Educator Aurelia Casey and Somatic Therapist Patty Adams help listeners understand that the environments immediately around us can help us build emotional resilience, so that even if we feel paralyzed by eco-dread we don’t have to stay that way for too long.&nbsp;Today’s episode is the final installment of our five-day Dread Project Challenge. You can find all our episodes and daily challenges at <a href="http://dreadproject.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">dreadproject.com</a>, along with all our show notes and where to find our guests. You can follow us on Twitter at @<a href="https://twitter.com/podfeelings" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">podfeelings</a>. The show notes for this episode are available here: <a href="http://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/eco-dread" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/eco-dread</a>.&nbsp; And if digging into dread is very difficult or intense for you, some additional resources that could help are listed below. Search for a therapist:&nbsp;<ul><li><a href="https://helloalma.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Alma</a>&nbsp;</li><li><a href="https://zencare.co/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Zencare</a></li><li><a href="https://locator.apa.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">APA Psychologist Locator</a>&nbsp;</li></ul> Mental Health Resources:<ul><li><a href="https://www.cdc.gov/howrightnow/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">How Right Now | Finding What Helps</a>&nbsp;</li><li><a href="https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/tools-resources/adults/index.htm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Adult Mental Health Resources from the CDC</a></li><li><a href="https://mhanational.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Mental Health America</a>&nbsp;</li></ul> Apps:<ul><li>Try the Ten Percent Happier app for free for thirty days by visiting <a href="http://tenpercent.com/more" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">tenpercent.com/more</a> and check out the <a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?topic=db19f5fb-bad0-4504-86a9-3b90bc664c6d" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">meditation pack</a> made especially for working with dread and Jay Michaelson’s teacher talk, <a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/f9gLoRGYYub" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Confronting Climate Change</a>.</li><li><a href="https://www.dareresponse.com/dareapp/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Dare App</a> - free app to help with anxious moments</li></ul> If you are currently experiencing a mental health crisis, please click <a href="https://www.crisistextline.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a>, text 741741, or call 988.See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

<description>
 &lt;p&gt;Eco-dread. It’s one of the most overwhelming emotions listeners are struggling with. But we can’t just tune out and shut down. Not only because it’s untenable to live that way, but because the only way out is the biggest collective action the planet has ever seen. Nature Educator Aurelia Casey and Somatic Therapist Patty Adams help listeners understand that the environments immediately around us can help us build emotional resilience, so that even if we feel paralyzed by eco-dread we don’t have to stay that way for too long.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Today’s episode is the final installment of our five-day Dread Project Challenge. You can find all our episodes and daily challenges at &lt;a href="http://dreadproject.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;dreadproject.com&lt;/a&gt;, along with all our show notes and where to find our guests. You can follow us on Twitter at @&lt;a href="https://twitter.com/podfeelings" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;podfeelings&lt;/a&gt;. The show notes for this episode are available here: &lt;a href="http://www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/eco-dread" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;www.tenpercent.com/mtaf-podcast-episodes/eco-dread&lt;/a&gt;.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;And if digging into dread is very difficult or intense for you, some additional resources that could help are listed below.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Search for a therapist:&amp;nbsp;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://helloalma.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;Alma&lt;/a&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://zencare.co/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;Zencare&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://locator.apa.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;APA Psychologist Locator&lt;/a&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Mental Health Resources:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://www.cdc.gov/howrightnow/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;How Right Now | Finding What Helps&lt;/a&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/tools-resources/adults/index.htm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;Adult Mental Health Resources from the CDC&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://mhanational.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;Mental Health America&lt;/a&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Apps:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Try the Ten Percent Happier app for free for thirty days by visiting &lt;a href="http://tenpercent.com/more" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;tenpercent.com/more&lt;/a&gt; and check out the &lt;a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?topic=db19f5fb-bad0-4504-86a9-3b90bc664c6d" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;meditation pack&lt;/a&gt; made especially for working with dread and Jay Michaelson’s teacher talk, &lt;a href="https://10percenthappier.app.link/f9gLoRGYYub" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;Confronting Climate Change&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://www.dareresponse.com/dareapp/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;Dare App&lt;/a&gt; - free app to help with anxious moments&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you are currently experiencing a mental health crisis, please click &lt;a href="https://www.crisistextline.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;, text 741741, or call 988.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;See Privacy Policy at &lt;a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://art19.com/privacy&lt;/a&gt; and California Privacy Notice at &lt;a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;
 </description>

One of the most overwhelming things listeners feel dread about is the climate crisis. Eco-therapy is a way to build resilience by tuning in instead of shutting down.

Day 5: An Antidote to Eco-Dread

Most of us have gotten at least a little emotional at some point recently.&nbsp;It’s natural. But why do we have emotions and how much should we pay attention to them on any given day?&nbsp;Can we learn to skillfully choose which emotions to listen to and which ones to just let move on by?In More Than A Feeling, the latest podcast from Ten Percent Happier, host Saleem Reshamwala goes on a real life quest to find the answers to these questions. He’ll experiment with neuroscientists, dive into stories with historians and philosophers, and document how musicians, therapists, hairdressers and airplane pilots work with emotions.&nbsp;Saleem sifts through the human condition to find stories and insights that will help us define our most fundamental relationships: our relationship to our own emotions, and to each other’s.Listen to More Than A Feeling on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting <a href="https://wondery.com/links/more-than-a-feeling/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">wondery.com/links/more-than-a-feeling/</a> now.

More Than A Feeling

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