Sometimes, the dreams we carry inspire us. Then life changes, especially if your spouse has dementia. Now, those same dreams weigh us down… and we have to let go. Advertisements for some memory care facilities and some dementia service agencies don’t help. I find those ads insulting. 

 

You’ve read the message in blogs and brochures.  Depending on where you and your spouse are in the dementia journey, you’ve probably had at least one person from a memory care center or caregiving agency look you in the eye and say – as though they understand exactly how you feel – that they stand ready to take on the burdens of dementia care so that you can go back to just being his wife.  To which I say: What do they think marriage is? One big date? … That when things get tough, the spouse will bail? 

 

My rant is NOT about whether a caregiver is physically weak or strong, emotionally delicate or resilient. People are different. Their experiences are different. Their physical capabilities are different. 

 

My rant is NOT about whether or not you care for your spouse at home or you place your spouse in a memory care facility.  People are different. Their home situations are different. What kind of support they have is different. 

My rant is about advertising that assumes spouses don’t want to take care of the personal needs of their spouse.