The Midlife Momma Podcast | Empty Nest Coach Pamela Henkelman

No mother intends to hurt her grown child with her words, and yet she does.

Without realizing it, we can make our kids feel guilty, criticized, or like they never quite measure up. Tune in for 10 phrases not to say to your adult child.

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You’re not the only one struggling to communicate in your marriage.

Join Bob and Pamela Henkelman for a candid conversation about how they’ve struggled to communicate effectively in their marriage. They’ll share lessons they’ve learned and offer practical tools to strengthen communication with your spouse.

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Have you ever tried “I feel” statements with your husband?

They are a great way to help you be honest and communicate with understanding instead of blame. We also talk about focusing on fun and seeking professional help when you feel stuck in a negative communication pattern in your empty nest.

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Let’s learn some practical tools to reconnect and strengthen our communication.

Incorporate intentional conversations(how-tos in the show notes), practice active listening, and embrace grace and forgiveness.

Daily Check-In Script:

Person A starts by saying: 

I feel __ _ _ _ about my work.

                                       myself

                                        us

                                        children

                                        spirituality

After each feeling statement, the partner mirrors why they just heard without correcting, blaming, shaming, trying to fix, or arguing with their partner.  Try to avoid feeling words like “good,” “bad,” “fine,” “ok,” etc, since they lack depth. When Person A is finished and Person B has mirrored each item back, it’s Person B’s turn.

Example: Person A: "I felt pretty frustrated about work since two people called in sick, and I had to cover their jobs and couldn’t get my projects done.”

Person B: “So it was pretty frustrating you had to do other people's jobs.

Check-ins don’t have to take a lot of time; it can take less than 5 minutes. Have some ritual about how and who starts this. Otherwise, the person who always feels like they have to initiate or prompt the other one to “check-in” will feel discouraged. 

Check-ins take practice and repetition and may feel awkward initially, but ultimately, you’ll feel more connected.

HELPFUL LINKS: 

Free Guide: Marriage Awareness Worksheet here

Communication can be one of our greatest struggles in an empty nest marriage.

When you understand the communication barriers, you can learn to remedy them. Let’s discuss the obstacles of poor listening skills, neglecting spiritual connection, different visions for the future, and lack of quality time.

HELPFUL LINKS: 

Free Guide: Marriage Awareness Worksheet? here