No need for Prince Charming

First Try, Water Birth & Teaching Full Time Lindsay is the kind of person who, when she decides something is happening, makes it happen. She promised herself at 27 — the day she left her marriage — that not having a partner would never mean not having a child. She promised herself again at 30, moving to Scotland on her own without knowing a single person. And she promised herself at 35 that if she was still single, she would make it happen that year. She was. She did. One round of IVF at Melbourne IVF. Nineteen eggs retrieved. Six embryos. A frozen transfer in December, just before her 36th birthday. A positive result over Christmas. A water birth with a doula at 37 weeks and two days — the day after her last day of work, standing in the rain doing tram duty. Aric is now eight months old. She's back teaching full time. She's planning to donate her eggs. Lindsay is a maths and science teacher at an independent school in Melbourne. She navigated her entire IVF journey secretly, before the pregnancy was announced, managing scans and blood tests around the school day. She came back to work at five months and has spent term one figuring out what it actually means to be a full-time teacher and a full-time solo mum simultaneously — including more sick days than she's had in six years, a daycare she describes as phenomenal, and a WhatsApp group of five women from the Preparing for Solo Motherhood course who all had babies in the same year and are now, she says, the best thing in her life besides Aric. This is a story for anyone who's been putting it off, thinks their journey will be long, or isn't sure how it's going to work with their job. Lindsay's answer to all of it is the same: you decide, and then you make it work. In this episode: Leaving her marriage at 27 and her mum's advice that changed everything Living and working in Scotland at 30, dating with the FYI conversation, and the decision point at 35 The public fertility waitlist in Victoria — what it is, how long it takes, and why she's glad she explored private options at the same time IVF at Melbourne IVF: choosing a donor, genetic carrier testing, and the last-minute transfer of funds before getting on a plane to Scotland Nineteen eggs, six embryos, an OHSS risk, and a frozen transfer just before the Christmas clinic shutdown Managing IVF secretly as a teacher — early morning appointments, removing clinic letterheads from medical certificates, and keeping a tight circle of support The embryo transfer day — emotionally the hardest part of the journey, and the Facebook community moment that changed everything A straightforward pregnancy, no complications beyond pelvic pain, and morning sickness managed with medication Working to 37.5 weeks pregnant, tram duty in the rain on her last Friday, and Aric arriving the next day Choosing a doula as a solo mum — why it was a deliberate, empowering choice, and how it shaped her birth A water birth with minimal intervention, just happy gas, and what she describes as one of the most magical things she's ever done Negotiating maternity leave in an independent school — EBAs, school holiday pay, the conversation she had to have with her principal, and going back to work at five months A phenomenal community daycare, full time from five months, and navigating the first term back The Preparing for Solo Motherhood course WhatsApp group — five women, five babies, late-night chats, Sunday check-ins, and a care package sent to a hospital in Sydney Why she plans to donate her eggs — and the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny philosophy behind itKey Takeaways Key Takeaways The Victorian public fertility waitlist is worth joining even if private is your plan — people drop off ahead of you and circumstances change If you're a teacher, ask your clinic for first appointments of the day — most fertility clinics accommodate this, and it's worth asking upfront Tell your employer just enough to get the support

Most of the stories on this podcast start at the beginning. This one starts seven years down the track — and it's one of the most valuable perspectives we have. Renee made her first appointment at 37, after a colleague finally said the quiet part loud and told her to just do it already. She did two IUI rounds, had a bad experience with her first IVF clinic and walked away, found Dr David Wilkinson at City Fertility, and on her third and final round — a frozen transfer she specifically advocated for against the default fresh option — fell pregnant with Aria. She was 39. Aria is now seven. She goes to Girl Guides, swimming and karate. She spent time in Bali with the solo mum community and came home telling her teachers about her brothers and sisters. She has decided she can't find Renee a husband because all the good ones are already married. She recently concluded she'd like to learn how to be on her own first before finding a partner — and she's seven. This is a conversation about what the long view really looks like. Not just the birth story and the newborn phase — though Renee shares those too, including a GP who missed her post-caesarean sepsis and a cow's milk protein intolerance that took months to diagnose — but what it means to raise a donor-conceived child who is starting to ask real questions, to build a village from scratch in a new city, and to feel, genuinely, that this life is fuller than anything you could have imagined before it. In this episode: The colleague who finally told her to just do it — and how one conversation changed everything Two IUI rounds and her first IVF clinic — and the moment she realised she owed them nothing and left Finding Dr David Wilkinson at City Fertility, a fresh perspective, and a one-step-at-a-time approach Three IVF rounds at 39 — low numbers, a Bali holiday between rounds, and the frozen transfer she asked for over the default fresh The butterfly effect moment: the embryo she asked to be frozen became Aria Coming home after a caesarean — and the GP who dismissed her concerns, missed her sepsis, and tried to put her on antidepressants Cow's milk protein intolerance: months of a screaming baby, a GP who listened, and 48 hours to a different child Donating her remaining embryo to another solo mum via Facebook — and what that process involved Aria at seven: the donor questions she's asking, what Renee tells her and what she doesn't, and why she won't build up a donor who may disappoint The one and done decision — and the clear-eyed logic behind it The solo mum community: nearly giving up after two bad playground meet-ups, a leap-of-faith camping trip to Phillip Island, and the village she now can't imagine living without The daughters of solo mums — and why Renee thinks they're going to have a fundamentally different relationship with what they need from a partner What she'd say to Aria, and what she'd say to anyone sitting on the fence Key Takeaways You owe your fertility clinic no loyalty if it's not the right fit — changing clinics can change everything Advocate for yourself in IVF decisions — Renee asked for a frozen transfer over the default fresh, and that embryo became Aria Trust your instincts about your baby's health. If a GP dismisses you, find another one and bring your list Building your village takes time, a few wrong fits, and one leap of faith — but it is out there The solo mum community doesn't just support the mums — it creates chosen family for the children too When your child says they wish they had a dad, ask more questions — it's almost never about the dad Raise your child to know they are enough on their own before they look for anyone else to complete them You can donate a remaining embryo to another family — ask your clinic about your options This episode is brought to you by City Fertility Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No N

Eight Months from Egg Freezing to Pregnant Ashleigh's story is one of those ones that will genuinely reassure anyone who is at the very beginning of this journey and quietly terrified about how long it might take. She was 33 when a friend planted the seed about egg freezing. She went to an initial clinic consultation — more curious than committed — and on the same day, a colleague at work mentioned she'd just had a baby via IVF with a sperm donor. Two seeds in one day. Eight months later, Ashleigh was pregnant. There were no complications. No failed transfers. No long waitlists. She found a donor quickly, did a fresh IVF cycle alongside her frozen eggs, got six embryos, and fell pregnant on the very first transfer. She still has five embryos in storage. She's a Queensland primary school teacher who now works three days a week at a school ten minutes from home and daycare. She took Z to Europe for a month at nine months old with her mum. She has connected with donor-conceived siblings — one of whom lives ten minutes away. And when asked what she'd tell someone sitting on the fence, she was in tears before she could even answer. This is a lovely, warm, uncomplicated episode. Not every story on this podcast is a long or hard one — and that matters. This is proof that sometimes it really does just work. In this episode: Spending her 20s and early 30s as a dedicated primary school teacher — and how burnout shifted her thinking about what she actually wanted A friend's egg freezing journey planting the seed — and a colleague's announcement on the same day as her first clinic appointment Freezing her eggs at 33 and being pregnant by 34 — eight months from first appointment to positive transfer Choosing an international donor in Queensland: blue eyes, healthy profile, and deliberately not overthinking it A fresh IVF cycle alongside her frozen eggs — 15 eggs, 6 embryos, and a positive first transfer Why she chose IVF over IUI — and the donor consent consideration that drove that decision A straightforward pregnancy clouded only by constant nausea — teaching primary school while vomiting several times a day An emergency caesarean and a surprisingly smooth recovery The newborn phase that was easier than expected — and the 48 hours without sleep in Europe that was not A month in Europe at nine months — what works, what doesn't, and why nine months is probably the cut-off Returning to work three days a week at a school ten minutes from home and daycare Connecting with donor-conceived siblings through the sperm bank's Facebook community — including one family ten minutes away Five embryos still in storage, the question of a second child, and three flights of stairs What she'd do differently: building the support network before baby arrives Key Takeaways The journey isn't always long — sometimes it really does move quickly, and it's worth starting sooner than you think You don't need to overthink donor selection — knowing your non-negotiables and keeping a clear head serves you better than analysis paralysis Choosing IVF over IUI when you want more than one child has practical advantages — embryos offer more protection than stored sperm alone in some circumstances Build your support network before baby arrives — not after you're in it and everyone around you already has children Returning to work part-time in a flexible, local role changes everything about the solo mum juggle Connecting with donor-conceived siblings is better to do on your own terms before they potentially cross paths organically Frozen embryos give you the luxury of time when it comes to the second child decision — you don't have to rush This episode is brought to you by City Fertility Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.   TTC or in your first trimester? The Expecting Solo course

Nearly half of first-time mums in Australia will have their labour induced. Most of them have no idea what that actually involves until they're in the middle of it. This episode is here to change that. I'm joined by Nat — Melbourne midwife, solo mum of three boys, and someone who has had three very different births of her own (including one that ended with her in ICU — more on that in her own episodes, which are linked below, but maybe save those for after you've had your baby). Nat works in a Melbourne tertiary hospital, and she's here in a personal capacity to give you a practical, informed, non-scary breakdown of what an induction actually is — and what you need to think about as a solo mum specifically. This is not medical advice. For risks, benefits and research, Nat recommends The Great Birth Rebellion podcast — search your specific situation and you'll find the evidence base you need. What this episode gives you is the foundational knowledge to walk into those conversations with your care provider informed, confident, and asking the right questions. Because here's what Nat — and I — both wish more women knew before they got to this point: there's a significant difference between being offered an induction because it's hospital policy, and being offered one because of your specific medical situation. Knowing which one you're in changes everything about the conversation you should be having. In this episode: What an induction actually is — and the difference between induction and augmentation Why nearly one in three women are induced in Australia, and nearly half of first-time mums The two types of induction recommendation: hospital policy versus your specific medical situation — and why this distinction matters The BRAIN acronym — Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing — and how to use it in any appointment The bishop score — what it is, what it means, and what happens next depending on the result The gel and pessary — how they work, how long they take, and what to expect The balloon catheter — what it actually is, how it works, and why you can ask for gas and air Breaking your waters — what it involves and why it's less dramatic than it sounds by this point The oxytocin (syntocin) drip — how it works, why it's different from natural labour, and why Nat recommends going in with an open mind about epidurals CTG monitoring — what the straps are doing, what the numbers mean, and what it means when they adjust the drip Why an induction can take two to three days — and what that means practically for solo mums with limited support Birth plans, support people, doulas, private midwives, and student midwives — your real options How to advocate for yourself if you're being pushed in a direction you're not comfortable with Birth trauma — what causes it, and how being informed reduces your risk Postpartum doulas and private midwives — what they can do for you after baby arrives Setting your home up for a C-section even if you're aiming for a vaginal birth Key Takeaways Ask your care provider: is this induction recommendation based on hospital policy, or on my specific medical situation? The answer should change how you respond Use the BRAIN acronym in every appointment — Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing An induction can take two to three days — plan your support accordingly, and don't assume you'll have your baby the same day If you're a solo mum without a support person, a doula or student midwife can be your advocate in the birth suite — and they don't count toward your support person limit Research epidurals before you need one — going into an induction without considering it sets you up for a harder experience Prepare your home for a C-section recovery even if that's not your plan — the solo mum who has meals in the freezer and grab rails in the bathroom will thank herself no matter what happens Birth trauma comes from not being heard, not f

When Maree came on to record, she had just had her very first IUI. She was 35, freshly into treatment, overwhelmed by the scan schedule, quietly terrified, and moving back in with her parents to make it financially possible. We recorded Part 1 that day. Then we waited. Part 2 picks up on the other side — after two unsuccessful IUIs, a full IVF cycle with PCOS that produced 29 eggs and four embryos, a frozen transfer that worked on the first attempt, and the arrival of Ellena via a planned maternal-assisted caesarean. Maree pulled her own daughter out. She cut the cord herself. In between, she navigated a lot. Fibroids that grew significantly during IVF and were monitored throughout pregnancy. An anterior placenta that meant she barely felt Ellena move until 26 weeks. Nausea so constant and all-consuming that she didn't show until very late — the hospital receptionist didn't believe she was there for a caesarean. Tongue tie, silent reflux, and a Tresilian residential stay that changed everything. And a hip dysplasia diagnosis — DDH — that her maternal health nurse picked up at two weeks, and that her paediatrician almost let slip through. Ellena is currently in a Rhino brace. She's also, by all accounts, obsessed with the nine-year-old next door who has decided that Ellena is her cousin and introduces her as such to everyone she meets. Maree works in disability support, lives with her parents in regional New South Wales, has ankylosing spondylitis managed by immunosuppressant medication, and came to this whole thing alone — no partner, no previous solo mum in her circle, just a childcare worker who remembered a mum she worked with in 2010 who had done it this way, and quietly filed it away. This episode will resonate deeply for women at the very beginning of this journey. And for the women who are already in it. In this episode: Growing up in childcare and knowing motherhood was always the plan — but never meeting anyone A solo mum of twins at her childcare centre in 2010 planting a seed that never went away PCOS, fibroids and ankylosing spondylitis — discovering her health picture only after starting fertility investigations Choosing City Fertility for their transparency, the Adam app, and accessible pricing Navigating CMV-negative donor requirements and genetic carrier matching — a pool within a pool The counselling session that changed how she thought about overseas versus local donors Two IUI cycles — painful, unsuccessful, and the moment she said enough An IVF cycle just before Christmas: 29 eggs, four embryos, OHSS, and a green whistle egg retrieval she was awake for A frozen transfer in January — positive on first attempt, testing every day for three weeks regardless Fibroids monitored throughout pregnancy, anterior placenta, barely feeling movement until 26 weeks A planned maternal-assisted caesarean — and why having some control back made all the difference Tongue tie, nerve pain, and the lactation journey that ended in formula — and peace A Tresilian residential stay she almost refused — and the silent reflux diagnosis that transformed their nights Hip dysplasia (DDH): picked up at two weeks, nearly dismissed at 16 weeks, confirmed by X-ray at four months Living with her parents, building a village from scratch, and finding another local solo mum through the SMS Facebook group Plans for a second child — and why Ellena having a full genetic sibling matters to her Key Takeaways: Get your fertility tests done before you think you need them — PCOS and fibroids are often only discovered when you start looking CMV status affects your donor pool significantly — ask your clinic about this early The fertility counselling session is not a gate check — it's genuinely useful, particularly around donor sibling connections and overseas vs local donors A green whistle egg retrieval (awake, no general anaesthetic) is becoming more common — ask your clinic about your options Mate