Finlos Lives

In this episode, I explore the radical tension between the "Stone", the rigid, official record used by institutions to exert control, and the "Echo," the subterranean flow of chisme that serves as a vital counter-archive for the marginalized. Moving from the forensic, de-mythologizing political photography of the Trump cabinet to the tactical social media survival databases used by communities to evade ICE raids, revealing how gossip functions as a decentralized form of accountability in low-reliability environments. By reclaiming the root of gossip as "god-sibb" or intimate witness, I argue that sharing chisme is a fundamental act of abolitionist praxis, allowing us to dismantle the carceral logic in our heads, challenge capitalist metrics of worth, and protect one another through the transformative power of the whisper.

In this episode, I dive into the profound emotional pull we experience as the calendar year winds down, a phenomenon I call the gravity of memory. I explore how the intense melancholy and nostalgia of the season, woven into our traditions and triggered by familiar recipes or traditions is not a weakness, but a healthy, necessary response to the symbolic death of the year. I argue that this time of reflective emotional repose is a deliberate, even resistant, act against the demands of hustle culture, and is essential because the preservation of our future traditions absolutely requires us to embrace the honesty of our present feelings, allowing both the ache of loss and the gratitude for life to coexist.

In this episode, I explore what I call relationships of convenience, dissecting the difference between reciprocal care and the "extractive mindset" that treats people, whether romantic, platonic, or familial, like a temporary resource for short-term gain. I argue that this pattern is not accidental, but a personal manifestation of a broader systemic failure, rooted in colonial, capitalistic, and patriarchal logic that devalues consistent, inconvenient emotional labor. I connect this relational failure to an internal one, exploring how the resulting cynicism and fear of being disposable makes depression feel like being unable to trust anyone. Ultimately, I challenge the listener and myself to reject this transactional model by committing to relational discipline: the choice to be the Samwise, the Tanjiro, or the Mirabel who prioritizes shared well-being over personal extraction, and embracing self-reciprocation to build the internal trust necessary to risk genuine connection again.

In this episode, I dive into the recent, ongoing US government shutdown to dissect the difference between the honest struggle of compromise and the easy aggression of sabotage, both in politics and in our personal lives. I argue that when one side refuses to negotiate over essential issues, like the expiring ACA premium tax credits that affect millions, they are replacing governance with a dangerous game of stonewalling. I connect this institutional failure to a profound internal one, exploring how the resulting paralysis mirrors the feeling of invisibility and powerlessness that comes with depression. Ultimately, I challenge the listener to move past this fear of being unacknowledged by finding the "Minimum Viable Product" lever—a small, disciplined act of self-governance that allows us to accept the slow, heavy rhythm of the day and choose steady, internal effort over a frantic, performative sprint.

In this episode of Finlos Lives, I look at what happens when someone important isn’t there—how absence alters routine, attention, and the body’s internal rhythm. Using the image of a vinyl record, I explore how relationships leave physical and emotional grooves that keep guiding us even after contact stops. Through psychology, daily practice, and reflection, I examine how missing someone shapes memory, behavior, and connection, showing that what feels like loss is often the system recalibrating for balance.