For years, I called myself an ally. But any time there was a Black Lives Matter rally or a benefit for an inner-city school, I'd quietly bow out. "I have my thing. I do the gay thing." I stayed in my comfortable, cozy gay lane. And it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized I didn't even know the full story of Juneteenth — after nearly two decades of doing inclusion work. This episode is about what staying in your lane actually costs you, and the surprisingly simple thing that gets you out of it. What you'll take away: The real cost of staying in your lane — it's not just missed connection. It's a lonelier world of your own making. Why you're overthinking it — you don't need a script, a certification, or expertise in every identity. You just need curiosity. The ARC Method in action — Ask. Respect. Connect. Three words that work in any conversation, any lane, any moment of not knowing what to say. A question to sit with — Where are you staying comfortable right now and calling it something else? Connect with Me The Newsletter: This week I've got stories about restoring erased history in national parks, El Paso keeping Pride visible, women leading on the World Cup pitch, and more. Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here. Work with Me: Let's talk. Watch 5 Things on YouTube. Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/