Shadow Playground

What if life wasn't something we had to constantly prove ourselves in? What if, instead of treating the world as a proving ground, we began experiencing it as a playground? In this episode of Shadow Playground, Ez Bridgman sits down with play facilitator and speaker Gary Ware to explore how play, curiosity and a little rebellion can transform the way we work, connect and experience life. Gary introduces the difference between seeing the world as a proving ground, where people become competitors and success is measured through achievement, and seeing it as a playground, where people become playmates and collaboration, experimentation and creativity become possible. Together, Ez and Gary explore how workplaces built around pressure, performance and external rewards can unintentionally create stress, burnout and unhealthy behaviors. They discuss the power of intrinsic motivation and how play, purpose and personal growth can help people reconnect with the meaning behind their work. But bringing play into serious environments isn't always easy. Gary explains why psychological safety, trust and genuine choice are essential. Rather than forcing people into uncomfortable activities, he invites them to participate, meets them where they are and gradually creates space for exploration. He shares a powerful story about a leadership team participating in a playful exercise designed to challenge their assumptions about multitasking. What began as a game led one executive to recognize how their own management habits were affecting their team. The conversation also explores playful rebellion, the practice of questioning the expectations and habits that keep us trapped in constant productivity. From taking meaningful breaks between meetings to creating healthier boundaries between work and leisure, Gary challenges the idea that working harder always means working better. Ez and Gary also explore what children can teach us about play, why different people experience play in different ways, and how discovering our personal play styles can help us bring more curiosity, creativity and enjoyment into everyday life. IN THIS EPISODE: • Why life can feel like a proving ground • How shifting toward a playground mindset changes relationships • The difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation • Why pressure and performance culture can lead to burnout • How play encourages creativity and collaboration • Why psychological safety matters when introducing play • How playful experiences can challenge limiting beliefs • What playful rebellion looks like in everyday life • Why rest and leisure are essential for meaningful work • How to create healthier boundaries between work and personal life • What children can teach us about play • Why everyone has different play styles • How curiosity and experimentation can transform our routines Rather than treating play as something reserved for childhood or time away from work, Gary invites us to recognize it as a meaningful part of being human. Perhaps we don't need to earn the right to play after everything is finished. Perhaps play is part of how we create a more enlivening life in the first place. ABOUT GARY WARE Gary Ware is a speaker and play facilitator who uses playful experiences to help individuals, leaders and organizations transform how they think, collaborate and work. His approach combines creativity, experimentation and playful rebellion to challenge established patterns and open new possibilities. V10 LIFE DESIGN Interested in designing an enlivening life, with space for both joy and shadow? Visit V10 Life Design to learn more.

We are all ageing. So why are so many of us taught to fear it? In this episode of Shadow Playground, Ez Bridgman sits down with author and anti ageism activist Ashton Applewhite to explore the stories we've been told about getting older and what becomes possible when we begin questioning them. Ashton shares how her assumptions about ageing changed when she began researching longevity and speaking with older people. Instead of the inevitable decline she expected, she discovered a far more complex and diverse picture of later life. Together, Ez and Ashton explore ageism: the stereotypes and discrimination we attach to people based on how old we think they are. They discuss why ageism affects both older and younger people and why the longer we live, the more different from one another we become. Ashton and Ez They examine the cultural forces that make ageing something to resist. From beauty standards and anti ageing products to industries built around fears of physical decline, Ashton asks us to consider who benefits when natural parts of ageing are turned into problems that need fixing. The conversation also explores chrononormativity, the idea that life should follow a socially approved timeline. Get married. Have children. Build a career. Save for retirement. Look a certain way by a certain age. What happens when we stop treating those expectations as rules? Ez and Ashton discuss the freedom that can come from caring less about other people's expectations and allowing ourselves to design lives that don't follow a predetermined timeline. They also explore the relationship between ageism and ableism and our tendency to fear our future older selves. Ashton introduces the idea of becoming an “old person in training”, developing curiosity and empathy toward the person we may become rather than distancing ourselves from them. Ashton and Ez The conversation turns toward intergenerational connection and why making friends across age groups can challenge assumptions, broaden our perspectives and make our lives richer. IN THIS EPISODE: • What ageism actually means • Why ageism affects olders and youngers • How anti ageing industries profit from fear • Why ageing can bring confidence and freedom • What chrononormativity tells us we “should” achieve • The connection between ageism and ableism • Why we fear our future older selves • Becoming an “old person in training” • Why intergenerational friendships matter • How age segregation limits us • Why there is no right way to age • The value of being rather than constantly doing Ashton offers a different way of imagining ageing: not as a problem to solve or a decline to outrun, but as another part of being human. Perhaps preparing for later life doesn't mean trying to stay young. Perhaps it means becoming curious about who we are becoming. ABOUT ASHTON APPLEWHITE Ashton Applewhite is an author and activist challenging ageism and the way we think about ageing. She is the author of This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism and co founder of Old School. Ashton and Ez This Chair Rocks Old School V10 Life Design Interested in designing an enlivening life, with space for both joy and shadow? Visit V10 Life Design to learn more.

Death. Trauma. Social taboos. Awkward situations. Why do humans sometimes laugh at things that don't seem funny at all? In this episode of Shadow Playground, Ez Bridgman sits down with humor researcher Dr. Caleb Warren to explore the psychology of dark humor and why something can feel wrong and funny at exactly the same time. Caleb introduces the idea of the “benign violation”: something becomes funny when we perceive it as a violation of a norm while simultaneously experiencing it as safe, acceptable or harmless. A joke about death might work because we know it isn't real. A socially inappropriate moment can become funny once we realize nobody was actually harmed. But that balance is highly subjective. What feels harmless to one person may feel deeply offensive to another. Our culture, experiences, relationships, values and distance from an event all influence where we draw the line between funny and simply wrong. Ez and Caleb explore the idea of psychological distance and why “too soon” really can be too soon. Time, physical distance, social distance and whether something is real or fictional can change our ability to laugh at difficult subjects. Magic-episode-01 They also discuss humor as a way of coping and communicating. Sometimes laughter tells the people around us that although something went wrong, we're okay. Dark humor can also help us engage with uncomfortable realities without becoming completely overwhelmed by them. The conversation moves into satire, roasting, practical jokes, workplace humor and the risks of trying to be funny in front of diverse audiences. Humor can challenge norms and expose absurdities, but it can also reinforce inequalities, humiliate people or become a tool for bullying. Magic-episode-01 And what do tickling, peekaboo and dark comedy have in common? Caleb explains how even some of our earliest experiences of laughter involve playing with the boundary between threat and safety. IN THIS EPISODE: • Why dark and taboo subjects can make us laugh • The psychology of the “benign violation” • Why the same joke can be hilarious to one person and offensive to another • How psychological distance changes what's funny • Why some jokes are simply “too soon” • How humor can help us cope with difficult experiences • Why trying to be funny at work can be risky • The difference between being funny and being cool • How satire can challenge social norms and power • Why roasts work — and why they sometimes go horribly wrong • What tickling and peekaboo reveal about laughter • How humor can reinforce social inequalities • When dark humor helps and when it causes harm Rather than giving us a simple formula for what's funny, this conversation reveals just how dependent humor is on context. Perhaps the question isn't simply, “Is this funny?” It's: funny to whom, in what context, from what distance — and at whose expense? ABOUT DR. CALEB WARREN Dr. Caleb Warren is a researcher whose work explores the psychology of humor, coolness and how people interpret violations of social norms. His research includes the benign violation theory of humor and the psychology of what makes people, products and ideas seem cool. V10 LIFE DESIGN Interested in designing an enlivening life, with space for both joy and shadow? Visit V10 Life Design to learn more.

From cutting out sugar to exercising more, many behaviors around food and fitness are praised as “healthy.” But when can healthy intentions become harmful? In this episode of Shadow Playground, Ez Bridgman sits down with body image researcher and psychologist Dr. Charlotte Markey to explore eating disorders, disordered eating and our complicated relationships with food and our bodies. Charlotte explains how our relationship with food changes throughout life. Babies largely respond to hunger and fullness, but as we grow, schedules, social expectations, appearance pressures and countless rules about what we “should” and “shouldn't” eat begin influencing our choices. Together, Ez and Charlotte explore what a healthy relationship with food might actually look like: eating regularly, enjoying a variety of foods, responding to our bodies and maintaining flexibility rather than following rigid rules. They unpack the difference between disordered eating and eating disorders, and why eating disorders don't have one particular look. They can affect people across ages, genders and backgrounds, with behaviors ranging from restriction and dieting to excessive exercise and concerns around muscularity. Dr. & Ez The conversation also explores how seemingly “healthy” behaviors can gradually become harmful. Going to the gym can become compulsive exercise. Cutting out one food can become eliminating more and more foods. What begins as an attempt to improve health or appearance can eventually consume significant mental space and interfere with living a full life. Charlotte discusses the many factors that can contribute to eating disorders, including genetics, personality, family socialization, cultural beauty standards and the desire for acceptance and belonging. They also examine the changing conversation around body size and weight-loss medications, including the tension between their legitimate medical uses and cultural pressure to treat certain bodies as problems that need fixing. Finally, Charlotte discusses recovery, why professional support is often essential, and how friends, parents and educators can respond when they're concerned about someone's relationship with food. IN THIS EPISODE: • What a healthy and flexible relationship with food can look like • The difference between disordered eating and eating disorders • When “healthy” habits can become harmful • Why eating disorders can affect anyone • How genetics, personality and socialization influence risk • How cultural beauty standards shape our relationship with food • Weight-loss medications and changing attitudes toward body size • Why nourishment matters for physical and mental health • What eating disorder recovery can involve • How to support someone you're concerned about • How parents can encourage healthier relationships with food and bodies • Why education and media literacy matter Rather than giving us another set of rules about what we should or shouldn't eat, this conversation returns to one central idea: flexibility. Can we listen to our bodies, question the messages surrounding us and create relationships with food that leave space for a full and meaningful life? ABOUT DR. CHARLOTTE MARKEY Dr. Charlotte Markey is a psychologist, body image researcher and author who leads the Healthy Development Lab. Her work explores body image, eating and health across different stages of life. V10 LIFE DESIGN Interested in designing an enlivening life, with space for both joy and shadow? Visit V10 Life Design to learn more.

Jealousy is an emotion many of us would rather not feel. We hide it, judge it, suppress it or expect our partners to make it disappear. But what if jealousy has something to tell us? In this episode of Shadow Playground, Ez Bridgman sits down with relationship researcher and depth psychologist Dr. Joli Hamilton to explore jealousy, compersion and the shadowy emotional territory that relationships can bring to the surface. Joli explains why jealousy isn't simply a “negative” emotion to overcome. It can point toward attachment wounds, unmet needs, perceived threats, desires and parts of ourselves that we haven't yet fully understood. Together, Ez and Joli explore jealousy through the lens of Jungian psychology and individuation, the lifelong process of becoming more aware of the complexity within ourselves. They discuss why taking responsibility for our unconscious patterns matters and how relationships can become powerful spaces for self-discovery. They also unpack the difference between jealousy and envy. Jealousy involves a triangle: ourselves, someone we value and a real or imagined interrupter. Envy involves comparison, wanting something another person has or represents. When the two collide, relationships can become emotionally overwhelming. Magic-episode-01 The conversation explores jealousy in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, including what these different relationship structures might teach us about communication, agreements, boundaries and emotional responsibility. Joli also offers a practical roadmap for working with jealousy: noticing how it appears in the body, naming it without shame, becoming curious about the story underneath it, and only then deciding what needs to be communicated or negotiated with a partner. IN THIS EPISODE: Why jealousy can become obsessive and overwhelming What erotic jealousy is and why jealousy can sometimes increase desire Why suppressing jealousy doesn't necessarily make it disappear The difference between jealousy and envy How attachment, threat and comparison can shape jealousy What Jungian shadow work can teach us about relationships Why unconscious patterns still require responsibility What individuation means within a relationship Jealousy in monogamous and non-monogamous relationships A practical roadmap for working with jealousy Why immediately asking a partner to change can miss what's underneath What compersion means and why it shouldn't be forced The shadow side of performative compersion How boundaries and differentiation can support deeper relationships Rather than trying to eliminate jealousy, Joli invites us to become curious about it. What is this feeling protecting? What story are we telling ourselves? What does it reveal about our needs, fears, desires and relationships? Jealousy may be uncomfortable, but learning to meet it consciously can turn it into an opportunity for deeper self-understanding. ABOUT DR. JOLI HAMILTON Dr. Joli Hamilton is a relationship researcher and depth psychologist whose work explores jealousy, individuation, non-monogamy and relationships. She hosts the Playing With Fire podcast and works with individuals and groups through programs including Year of Opening and Individuation Alchemy. V10 LIFE DESIGN Interested in designing an enlivening life, with space for both joy and shadow? Visit V10 Life Design to learn more.