Dad Space Podcast - for Dads by Dads

Episode 159 - Navigating Fatherhood, Supporting Your Adult Children in Their New Lives

As fathers of adult children who have moved out and started their own families, it's important to understand how to navigate this new phase of parenting. Here's a summary of key points for dads:

Respect Boundaries and Independence

• Recognize that your adult children are starting their own family unit with their own decisions and traditions.
• Avoid showing up uninvited or expecting to have the same level of involvement as before.
• Allow them to make their own choices about where to live, work, and how to celebrate holidays.

Offer Support Without Overstepping

• Make yourself available for advice and support, but only when invited.
• Respect their parenting choices and household rules, even if they differ from yours.
• Be open to learning about their new family dynamics and priorities.

Maintain Communication

• Keep in touch regularly, but don't expect daily updates.
• Show interest in their lives without being intrusive.
• Use active listening skills and open-ended questions to foster meaningful conversations.

Adapt Your Role

• Transition from an authority figure to more of a mentor or friend.
• Focus on building an adult-to-adult relationship with your children.
• Be prepared to step back and let them handle their own challenges.

Self-Care and Personal Growth

• Develop your own interests and relationships outside of your role as a parent.
• Seek support from other fathers going through similar transitions.
• Consider joining support groups or counseling if you're struggling with the change.

Grandparenting (if applicable)

• Respect the parenting decisions of your adult children regarding their own kids.
• Offer to help with grandchildren, but always within the boundaries set by their parents.
• Focus on building positive relationships with grandchildren without undermining their parents' authority.

Remember, this transition can be challenging for fathers, who may feel a loss of purpose or struggle with their changing role. It's normal to experience a range of emotions during this time. The key is to maintain a loving, supportive presence in your adult children's lives while respecting their independence and new family dynamics.

___

Episode 158 - Freedom's Path, The Story of Salem Chapel and the Underground Railroad

Do you have a significant historical landmark in your community - have you spent time there? Well I did. I spent time at the last stop of the Underground Railroad, where black slaves seeking freedom found community, safety and the true freedom they desired. I had the honour to sit in this small chapel and to let the walls and the wood pews tell me about the history of this lighthouse of freedom.

WELCOME TO THE SALEM CHAPEL SANCTUARY OF HISTORY​

People of African descent began settling in the St. Catharines, Ontario area around 1788 and they brought their religion with them. Many were followers of Rev. John Wesley, the founder of Methodism. Wesley was a staunch abolitionist and advocated for the end of slavery and the slave trade.

​Many of the freedom seekers that relocated to this area were also followers of Bishop Richard Allen, the founder of the African Methodist Episcopal Church (AMEC).

An AMEC Society was established in St. Catharines, Ontario between 1814 and 1820. A small chapel was built to serve the faithful in the Queenston Street area. When construction on the first Welland Canal began (1824-1829) in their neighbourhood, members of the Black community relocated to the under developed area of Geneva and North Streets. In 1835, they purchased property on North Street from abolitionist businessmen William Hamilton Merritt and Oliver Phelps to build a new AMEC. This church would be the second in St. Catharines and it would hold about 70 members.

In 1837, the St. Catharines group sent a petition to the AMEC New York Conference asking for pastoral care and to be received into the AMEC Connection. As a result of this action, AMEC missionaries stationed in Upper Canada were instructed to "regulate the existing Societies, organize more in other regions and also communicate that they shall be subject to the order of the Bishops, and amendable to the Annual Conference of the New York District." One year later, the New York AMEC Conference organized a church in St. Catharines with forty members and two local preachers. The church was named Bethel Chapel.

In less than a generation this Methodist group would out grow the second church. The Black community in

St. Catharines began to increase immediately after the US Congress passed the 1850 Fugitive Slave Act. Thousands of free and escaped African Americans living in the Northern States moved to various parts of Canada West to secure their safety and freedom. The new fugitive slave laws also caused thousands of fleeing enslaved African Americans to settle in Canada.

In order to accommodate the influx of new comers, the AMEC congregation in St. Catharines decided to build a larger church. Resident freedom seekers began to construct the third church in October 1853. On November 4, 1855 the new AMEC was opened and publicly "dedicated to the Service of Almighty God" by Bishop Daniel Alexander Payne. 

In less than one year (September 1856), most of the Canadian AME Churches would separate from the AMEC Conference in the US and establish the British Methodist Episcopal Church (BMEC). This was partly due to the 1850 Fugitive Slave Act. Most of the AME Church members in Canada refused to attend Conference in the US because of the fugitive slave laws. They also wanted to identify themselves more closely with the country that granted them their freedom and equal rights.  

As a Methodist meeting house, from its early beginnings the AMEC in St. Catharines hosted anti-slavery lectures, civic protests and provided shelter and aid to the newly arrived freedom seekers until the end of the Civil War.  

The National Underground Railroad Network to Freedom Program announces new listings

Episode 157 - Behind the Scenes of The Dad Space Podcast - Are You Curious About This Show

Happy December Dads! I take you behind the scenes of Dad Space, share a little about who listens to this show, and I thank all of you for listening!

A question for you - outside of the podcast, what can we do to build the Dad Space Community? Any Suggestions?

Head over to Dad Space and let me know!

Thanks for listening

Dave

___

Episode 156 - Reflecting on Movember - Grow a Mo, Save a Bro - The Story and Impact of Movember

Movember: Changing the Face of Men's HealthEvery November, a global phenomenon emerges as men worldwide grow moustaches for a cause. This is Movember, a campaign that has revolutionized awareness and support for men's health issues, particularly prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and mental health challenges.The Mo-vement Begins

In 2003, a group of 30 friends in Melbourne, Australia, sparked a revolution with a simple dare: grow a moustache for 30 days. This playful challenge quickly evolved into a powerful campaign for men's health awareness. Today, Movember has spread to over 20 countries, engaging millions of participants.

Why Movember Matters

• Men's health often takes a backseat, with societal norms discouraging open discussions about health issues. Movember breaks these barriers, advocating for:Early detection and diagnosis of male-specific cancers
• Effective treatments for prostate and testicular cancer
• Mental health support and suicide prevention

Making an Impact

• Since its inception, Movember has:Funded over 1,250 men's health projects globally
• Raised millions for research and support services
• Changed perceptions about men's health
• Encouraged open dialogue and reduced stigma

How to Get Involved

1. Grow a Mo: Start November clean-shaven and grow your moustache all month
2. Move for Movember: Run or walk 60 miles over the month
3. Host an event: Organize a fundraiser or awareness event
4. Mo Your Own Way: Create your own Movember challenge

Whether you're growing a moustache, organizing an event, or simply spreading the word, every action contributes to improving men's health outcomes and encouraging healthier, longer lives.Join the movement and be part of the change. Visit Movember.com to learn more about how you can participate, donate, and help reshape the landscape of men's health.

Episode 155 - Books for Dads - A Father's Story by Lionel Dahmer, Are You Guilty of Your Child's Choices?

"A Father's Story" by Lionel Dahmer details the harrowing experience of Lionel as he grapples with the shocking revelations about his son, Jeffrey Dahmer, who became infamous as a serial killer. The narrative is not just a recounting of Jeffrey's crimes, but a deep exploration of Lionel's feelings of sorrow, guilt, and confusion as he reflects on his role as a father. Throughout the book, Lionel acknowledges his failures in communication and connection with Jeffrey, which he believes contributed to his son's tragic path. He shares insights into the psychological aspects of their relationship, the challenges of parenting a troubled child, and the societal perceptions that followed Jeffrey's arrest. Ultimately, Lionel's memoir serves as both a personal catharsis and a poignant reminder of the complexities of fatherhood.Key Takeaways

1. The Complexity of Fatherhood: Lionel's story illustrates that fatherhood is fraught with challenges, particularly when faced with a child's troubling behavior. It emphasizes the importance of open communication and connection between parents and children.
2. Reflection and Responsibility: The narrative encourages fathers to reflect on their parenting styles and recognize how their actions (or inactions) can impact their children's lives. Lionel's journey reveals that acknowledging one's shortcomings is vital for personal growth.
3. The Importance of Support Systems: Lionel recognizes that external support—whether from friends, family, or professional help—is crucial in addressing serious issues within a family. This underscores the need for fathers to seek help when navigating difficult situations.
4. Navigating Shame and Stigma: The book addresses the stigma associated with having a criminal child and how it affects familial relationships. It highlights the emotional toll this can take on parents, urging them to find ways to cope with public scrutiny while maintaining their dignity.