In this episode, Jason and Lauren explore how real maturity isn’t about getting more of what you want, but learning to loosen your grip. From parenting and marriage to grief and becoming grandparents, they unpack how surrender shapes relational health, heals fear, and builds a legacy that lasts.Because at some point, growth looks less like striving… and more like letting go.In this episode, the Vallotton&apos;s talk about:<ul><li> the shift from becoming into surrender—and why it’s where maturity deepens </li><li> how grief and becoming young grandparents reframed legacy and freedom </li><li> why surrender isn’t a stage, but a lifelong invitation </li><li> what parenting reveals about our natural tendency toward “mine” </li><li> how maturity moves us from consuming to producing in relationships </li><li> the role of surrender in marriage, and what it looks like daily </li><li> how anxiety, control, and insecurity quietly sabotage connection </li><li> what it means to surrender without losing your voice, needs, or boundaries </li><li> why true surrender is costly—and not a carefree feeling </li></ul>At the end of the day, surrender isn’t about losing your life—it’s about becoming someone who can love well, live freely, and leave something meaningful behind.Closing question: What do you need to surrender?Resources: Lauren’s upcoming memoir Past the Picket Fence Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter: <a href='https://pastthepicketfence.com'>pastthepicketfence.com</a> Patreon If you&apos;ve enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. <a href='https://patreon.com/datesmatesbabies?utm_medium=unknown&amp;utm_source=join_link&amp;utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&amp;utm_content=copyLink'>Click this link to support</a>! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to <a href='https://www.jasonandlaurenvallotton.com/'>jasonandlaurenvallotton.com</a> ! Connect with Lauren: <a href='https://www.instagram.com/lvallotton/'>Instagram</a> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/lauren.vallotton/'>Facebook</a> Connect with Jason: <a href='https://www.instagram.com/jayvallotton/'>Jay’s Instagram</a> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/JasonWilliamVallotton'>Jay’s Facebook</a> <a href='https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/'>BraveCo Instagram</a> <a href='http://www.braveco.org'>www.braveco.org</a>

<description>&lt;p&gt;In this episode, Jason and Lauren explore how real maturity isn’t about getting more of what you want, but learning to loosen your grip. From parenting and marriage to grief and becoming grandparents, they unpack how surrender shapes relational health, heals fear, and builds a legacy that lasts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Because at some point, growth looks less like striving… and more like letting go.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;In this episode, the Vallotton&amp;apos;s talk about:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt; the shift from becoming into surrender—and why it’s where maturity deepens &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; how grief and becoming young grandparents reframed legacy and freedom &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; why surrender isn’t a stage, but a lifelong invitation &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; what parenting reveals about our natural tendency toward “mine” &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; how maturity moves us from consuming to producing in relationships &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; the role of surrender in marriage, and what it looks like daily &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; how anxiety, control, and insecurity quietly sabotage connection &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; what it means to surrender without losing your voice, needs, or boundaries &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; why true surrender is costly—and not a carefree feeling &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, surrender isn’t about losing your life—it’s about becoming someone who can love well, live freely, and leave something meaningful behind.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Closing question:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br/&gt; What do you need to surrender?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Resources:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br/&gt; Lauren’s upcoming memoir &lt;em&gt;Past the Picket Fence&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br/&gt; Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter:&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href='https://pastthepicketfence.com'&gt;pastthepicketfence.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Patreon&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;If you&amp;apos;ve enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. &lt;a href='https://patreon.com/datesmatesbabies?utm_medium=unknown&amp;amp;utm_source=join_link&amp;amp;utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&amp;amp;utm_content=copyLink'&gt;Click this link to support&lt;/a&gt;! Thank you!&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to &lt;a href='https://www.jasonandlaurenvallotton.com/'&gt;jasonandlaurenvallotton.com&lt;/a&gt; !&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;b&gt;Connect with Lauren:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/lvallotton/'&gt;Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.facebook.com/lauren.vallotton/'&gt;Facebook&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;b&gt;Connect with Jason:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/jayvallotton/'&gt;Jay’s Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.facebook.com/JasonWilliamVallotton'&gt;Jay’s Facebook&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/'&gt;BraveCo Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.braveco.org'&gt;www.braveco.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>

In this episode, Jason and Lauren explore how real maturity isn’t about getting more of what you want, but learning to loosen your grip. From parenting and marriage to grief and becoming grandparents, they unpack how surrender shapes relational health, heals fear, and builds a legacy that lasts. Because at some point, growth looks less like striving… and more like letting go. In this episode, the Vallotton's talk about:  the shift from becoming into surrender—and why it’s where maturity ...

144. The Messy Middle (Part 4): Letting Go — The Practice of Surrender

In the last episode of Dates, Mates &amp; Babies, Jason and Lauren talked about honoring the one who dared to dream. But dreaming is only the beginning. In this episode, they explore the next phase of the journey: becoming.The dream isn’t usually the problem—and the delay isn’t punishment. Often, the space between dreaming and fulfillment is where the real work happens. As Lauren says, “God cares less about giving you the dream quickly than forming you to carry it well.”Jason and Lauren discuss the gap between desire and capacity—how desire reveals what we want, but capacity determines what we can actually sustain. From marriage to motherhood to calling, many of the things we long for require emotional, relational, and spiritual maturity that takes time to develop.They unpack what becoming actually looks like in real life: conflict that exposes ego, responsibility that reveals control issues, feedback that surfaces insecurity, and hidden seasons where faithfulness grows without applause. As Jason shares, true maturity isn’t just about achievement—it’s about emotional regulation, humility, and consistency.The conversation also addresses common lies we believe during seasons of growth: that we’re behind, that detours mean we missed it, or that if something were meant to be it would come easily. Instead, Jason and Lauren invite listeners to see these seasons as intentional formation, not failure.They close with practical ways to build capacity—growing emotional resilience, staying faithful in hidden seasons, taking ownership of personal triggers, and learning to do small things consistently over time.Because becoming isn’t about striving to be impressive. It’s about growing sturdy enough to carry the life you once dreamed about.Resources: Lauren’s upcoming memoir Past the Picket Fence Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter: <a href='https://pastthepicketfence.com/'>pastthepicketfence.com</a>Patreon If you&apos;ve enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. <a href='https://patreon.com/datesmatesbabies?utm_medium=unknown&amp;utm_source=join_link&amp;utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&amp;utm_content=copyLink'>Click this link to support</a>! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to <a href='https://www.jasonandlaurenvallotton.com/'>jasonandlaurenvallotton.com</a> ! Connect with Lauren: <a href='https://www.instagram.com/lvallotton/'>Instagram</a> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/lauren.vallotton/'>Facebook</a> Connect with Jason: <a href='https://www.instagram.com/jayvallotton/'>Jay’s Instagram</a> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/JasonWilliamVallotton'>Jay’s Facebook</a> <a href='https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/'>BraveCo Instagram</a> <a href='http://www.braveco.org'>www.braveco.org</a>

<description>&lt;p&gt;In the last episode of &lt;em&gt;Dates, Mates &amp;amp; Babies&lt;/em&gt;, Jason and Lauren talked about honoring the one who dared to dream. But dreaming is only the beginning. In this episode, they explore the next phase of the journey: &lt;b&gt;becoming&lt;/b&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The dream isn’t usually the problem—and the delay isn’t punishment. Often, the space between dreaming and fulfillment is where the real work happens. As Lauren says, &lt;em&gt;“God cares less about giving you the dream quickly than forming you to carry it well.”&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Jason and Lauren discuss the &lt;b&gt;gap between desire and capacity&lt;/b&gt;—how desire reveals what we want, but capacity determines what we can actually sustain. From marriage to motherhood to calling, many of the things we long for require emotional, relational, and spiritual maturity that takes time to develop.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;They unpack what becoming actually looks like in real life: conflict that exposes ego, responsibility that reveals control issues, feedback that surfaces insecurity, and hidden seasons where faithfulness grows without applause. As Jason shares, true maturity isn’t just about achievement—it’s about &lt;b&gt;emotional regulation, humility, and consistency&lt;/b&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The conversation also addresses common lies we believe during seasons of growth: that we’re behind, that detours mean we missed it, or that if something were meant to be it would come easily. Instead, Jason and Lauren invite listeners to see these seasons as &lt;b&gt;intentional formation&lt;/b&gt;, not failure.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;They close with practical ways to build capacity—growing emotional resilience, staying faithful in hidden seasons, taking ownership of personal triggers, and learning to do small things consistently over time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Because becoming isn’t about striving to be impressive. It’s about &lt;b&gt;growing sturdy enough to carry the life you once dreamed about&lt;/b&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Resources:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br/&gt;Lauren’s upcoming memoir &lt;em&gt;Past the Picket Fence&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br/&gt;Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://pastthepicketfence.com/'&gt;pastthepicketfence.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Patreon&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;If you&amp;apos;ve enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. &lt;a href='https://patreon.com/datesmatesbabies?utm_medium=unknown&amp;amp;utm_source=join_link&amp;amp;utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&amp;amp;utm_content=copyLink'&gt;Click this link to support&lt;/a&gt;! Thank you!&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to &lt;a href='https://www.jasonandlaurenvallotton.com/'&gt;jasonandlaurenvallotton.com&lt;/a&gt; !&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;b&gt;Connect with Lauren:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/lvallotton/'&gt;Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.facebook.com/lauren.vallotton/'&gt;Facebook&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;b&gt;Connect with Jason:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/jayvallotton/'&gt;Jay’s Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.facebook.com/JasonWilliamVallotton'&gt;Jay’s Facebook&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/'&gt;BraveCo Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.braveco.org'&gt;www.braveco.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>

In the last episode of Dates, Mates &amp; Babies, Jason and Lauren talked about honoring the one who dared to dream. But dreaming is only the beginning. In this episode, they explore the next phase of the journey: becoming. The dream isn’t usually the problem—and the delay isn’t punishment. Often, the space between dreaming and fulfillment is where the real work happens. As Lauren says, “God cares less about giving you the dream quickly than forming you to carry it well.” Jason and Lauren dis...

143. The Messy Middle (Part 3): Becoming — Growing the Capacity Your Dream Requires

Last week, Jason and Lauren named the disorientation so many women feel in their 30s — when life doesn’t look the way they imagined. This week, they gently trace the story back to where it began.Before there was disappointment… there was dreaming.Lauren reminds listeners that those early dreams weren’t foolish — they were sincere. They mattered. Instead of shaming the younger version of ourselves, maybe we honor her and ask what she was really longing for.In this episode, Jason and Lauren explore:<ul><li>Why dreaming is holy — how desire often introduces you to your design.</li><li>How idealism in your 20s isn’t immaturity, but momentum.</li><li>The subtle shift from “I hope” to “I deserve” when we wait or feel disappointed.</li><li>How timelines and unspoken expectations can quietly become measuring sticks.</li><li>The internal contracts we form: “By 30 I’ll be…” “My marriage will feel like…”</li></ul>You’ll walk away with practical tools to hold vision without clinging:<ul><li>Separate the essence from the packaging.</li><li>Surrender the timeline, not the desire.</li><li>Ask who you need to become to carry the dream well.</li></ul>This episode is tender, grounding, and hopeful — a reminder that the dreaming phase wasn’t wasted. It was forming you.Maybe your dream didn’t die. Maybe it grew up.Resources: Lauren’s upcoming memoir Past the Picket Fence Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter: <a href='https://pastthepicketfence.com/'>pastthepicketfence.com</a>Patreon If you&apos;ve enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. <a href='https://patreon.com/datesmatesbabies?utm_medium=unknown&amp;utm_source=join_link&amp;utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&amp;utm_content=copyLink'>Click this link to support</a>! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to <a href='https://www.jasonandlaurenvallotton.com/'>jasonandlaurenvallotton.com</a> ! Connect with Lauren: <a href='https://www.instagram.com/lvallotton/'>Instagram</a> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/lauren.vallotton/'>Facebook</a> Connect with Jason: <a href='https://www.instagram.com/jayvallotton/'>Jay’s Instagram</a> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/JasonWilliamVallotton'>Jay’s Facebook</a> <a href='https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/'>BraveCo Instagram</a> <a href='http://www.braveco.org'>www.braveco.org</a>

<description>&lt;p&gt;Last week, Jason and Lauren named the disorientation so many women feel in their 30s — when life doesn’t look the way they imagined. This week, they gently trace the story back to where it began.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Before there was disappointment… there was dreaming.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Lauren reminds listeners that those early dreams weren’t foolish — they were sincere. They mattered. Instead of shaming the younger version of ourselves, maybe we honor her and ask what she was really longing for.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In this episode, Jason and Lauren explore:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Why dreaming is holy — how desire often introduces you to your design.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;How idealism in your 20s isn’t immaturity, but momentum.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;The subtle shift from “I hope” to “I deserve” when we wait or feel disappointed.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;How timelines and unspoken expectations can quietly become measuring sticks.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;The internal contracts we form: “By 30 I’ll be…” “My marriage will feel like…”&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;You’ll walk away with practical tools to hold vision without clinging:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Separate the essence from the packaging.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Surrender the timeline, not the desire.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Ask who you need to become to carry the dream well.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;This episode is tender, grounding, and hopeful — a reminder that the dreaming phase wasn’t wasted. It was forming you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Maybe your dream didn’t die. Maybe it grew up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Resources:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br/&gt;Lauren’s upcoming memoir &lt;em&gt;Past the Picket Fence&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br/&gt;Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://pastthepicketfence.com/'&gt;pastthepicketfence.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Patreon&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;If you&amp;apos;ve enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. &lt;a href='https://patreon.com/datesmatesbabies?utm_medium=unknown&amp;amp;utm_source=join_link&amp;amp;utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&amp;amp;utm_content=copyLink'&gt;Click this link to support&lt;/a&gt;! Thank you!&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to &lt;a href='https://www.jasonandlaurenvallotton.com/'&gt;jasonandlaurenvallotton.com&lt;/a&gt; !&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;b&gt;Connect with Lauren:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/lvallotton/'&gt;Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.facebook.com/lauren.vallotton/'&gt;Facebook&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;b&gt;Connect with Jason:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/jayvallotton/'&gt;Jay’s Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.facebook.com/JasonWilliamVallotton'&gt;Jay’s Facebook&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/'&gt;BraveCo Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.braveco.org'&gt;www.braveco.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>

Last week, Jason and Lauren named the disorientation so many women feel in their 30s — when life doesn’t look the way they imagined. This week, they gently trace the story back to where it began. Before there was disappointment… there was dreaming. Lauren reminds listeners that those early dreams weren’t foolish — they were sincere. They mattered. Instead of shaming the younger version of ourselves, maybe we honor her and ask what she was really longing for. In this episode, Jason and Lauren ...

142. The Messy Middle (Part 2): Dreaming — When Expectations Shape You

In this deeply honest episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton talk about the quiet disorientation that can surface in your 30s — especially when life doesn’t look the way you thought it would.They open with a vulnerable admission: you can have the life you once prayed for… and still feel unsettled inside it.Lauren shares how her 30s revealed something unexpected — it wasn’t that she needed a better plan. She needed a different version of herself. Together, they explore how what feels like breakdown is often actually recalibration.This episode is for the woman who has checked the boxes, carried responsibility well, made thoughtful decisions… and still feels like something doesn’t quite fit.You are not failing. You are becoming.IN THIS EPISODE, THEY DISCUSS:The Disorientation No One Prepared You For | “This isn’t a breakdown. It’s a recalibration.” Jason and Lauren unpack the “picket fence” script many of us subconsciously follow — the belief that if we do X, life will look like Y. What happens when you do the right things… and it still doesn’t feel the way you expected?They talk about why this tension often surfaces in your 30s — when decisions carry weight, comparison gets louder, and responsibility leaves less room for fantasy.The Three Griefs Nobody Names | “Sometimes the pain isn’t your life… it’s the funeral of the life you expected.”Lauren gives language to three quiet griefs many women carry:<ul><li>The grief of the timeline — the life you thought would have happened by now</li><li>The grief of identity — when the version of you that worked in your 20s doesn’t work anymore</li><li>The grief of outcomes — when you did the “right things” and life still got hard</li></ul>Together, they gently ask the question many women haven’t stopped long enough to consider: What are you grieving that you’ve been calling “just stress”?This conversation is tender, grounding, and full of hope. Because sometimes what feels like disorientation isn’t failure — it’s reorientation. And letting go of the dream life might be the very thing that makes room for a truer one.If this episode resonates, share it with a friend who’s navigating her own season of becoming.Resources: Lauren’s upcoming memoir Past the Picket Fence Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter: <a href='https://pastthepicketfence.com/'>pastthepicketfence.com</a>Patreon If you&apos;ve enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. <a href='https://patreon.com/datesmatesbabies?utm_medium=unknown&amp;utm_source=join_link&amp;utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&amp;utm_content=copyLink'>Click this link to support</a>! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to <a href='https://www.jasonandlaurenvallotton.com/'>jasonandlaurenvallotton.com</a> ! Connect with Lauren: <a href='https://www.instagram.com/lvallotton/'>Instagram</a> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/lauren.vallotton/'>Facebook</a> Connect with Jason: <a href='https://www.instagram.com/jayvallotton/'>Jay’s Instagram</a> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/JasonWilliamVallotton'>Jay’s Facebook</a> <a href='https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/'>BraveCo Instagram</a> <a href='http://www.braveco.org'>www.braveco.org</a>

<description>&lt;p&gt;In this deeply honest episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton talk about the quiet disorientation that can surface in your 30s — especially when life doesn’t look the way you thought it would.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;They open with a vulnerable admission: you can have the life you once prayed for… and still feel unsettled inside it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Lauren shares how her 30s revealed something unexpected — it wasn’t that she needed a better plan. She needed a different version of herself. Together, they explore how what feels like breakdown is often actually recalibration.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This episode is for the woman who has checked the boxes, carried responsibility well, made thoughtful decisions… and still feels like something doesn’t quite fit.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;You are not failing. You are becoming.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;IN THIS EPISODE, THEY DISCUSS:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;The Disorientation No One Prepared You For | &lt;/b&gt;“This isn’t a breakdown. It’s a recalibration.” &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Jason and Lauren unpack the “picket fence” script many of us subconsciously follow — the belief that if we do X, life will look like Y. What happens when you do the right things… and it still doesn’t feel the way you expected?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;They talk about why this tension often surfaces in your 30s — when decisions carry weight, comparison gets louder, and responsibility leaves less room for fantasy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;The Three Griefs Nobody Names | &lt;/b&gt;“Sometimes the pain isn’t your life… it’s the funeral of the life you expected.”&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Lauren gives language to three quiet griefs many women carry:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;The grief of the timeline — the life you thought would have happened by now&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;The grief of identity — when the version of you that worked in your 20s doesn’t work anymore&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;The grief of outcomes — when you did the “right things” and life still got hard&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;Together, they gently ask the question many women haven’t stopped long enough to consider: &lt;em&gt;What are you grieving that you’ve been calling “just stress”?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This conversation is tender, grounding, and full of hope. Because sometimes what feels like disorientation isn’t failure — it’s reorientation. And letting go of the dream life might be the very thing that makes room for a truer one.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;If this episode resonates, share it with a friend who’s navigating her own season of becoming.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Resources:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br/&gt;Lauren’s upcoming memoir &lt;em&gt;Past the Picket Fence&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br/&gt;Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://pastthepicketfence.com/'&gt;pastthepicketfence.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Patreon&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;If you&amp;apos;ve enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. &lt;a href='https://patreon.com/datesmatesbabies?utm_medium=unknown&amp;amp;utm_source=join_link&amp;amp;utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&amp;amp;utm_content=copyLink'&gt;Click this link to support&lt;/a&gt;! Thank you!&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to &lt;a href='https://www.jasonandlaurenvallotton.com/'&gt;jasonandlaurenvallotton.com&lt;/a&gt; !&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;b&gt;Connect with Lauren:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/lvallotton/'&gt;Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.facebook.com/lauren.vallotton/'&gt;Facebook&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;b&gt;Connect with Jason:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/jayvallotton/'&gt;Jay’s Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.facebook.com/JasonWilliamVallotton'&gt;Jay’s Facebook&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/'&gt;BraveCo Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.braveco.org'&gt;www.braveco.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>

In this deeply honest episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton talk about the quiet disorientation that can surface in your 30s — especially when life doesn’t look the way you thought it would. They open with a vulnerable admission: you can have the life you once prayed for… and still feel unsettled inside it. Lauren shares how her 30s revealed something unexpected — it wasn’t that she needed a better plan. She needed a different version of herself. Together, they explore how what feels like break...

141. The Messy Middle (Part 1): When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned

This episode is a live recording of Jason Vallotton’s message at Bethel Church on November 30, 2025—a raw, clarifying teaching on God’s Plan for Forming Men, shared in the context of the upcoming <a href='https://www.braveco.org/riteofpassage'>BraveCo Rite of Passage Event</a> in Jacksonville February 28, 2026.God has a blueprint for forming men who carry strength, humility, and responsibility into their homes, marriages, and work. That blueprint is both simple and demanding—formed, filled, and finished—and it unfolds through the stages of calling, testing, equipping, and commissioning.In this message, Jason unpacks why being made from dust matters, why being filled with the Spirit is non-negotiable, and why testing isn’t punishment but refinement. Marriage becomes a mirror. Work becomes a training ground. Feedback becomes the tool that confronts ego head-on. Equipping looks like delayed gratification—showing up when you don’t feel like it, choosing peace over pride, and learning to carry responsibility without collapsing under it. Commissioning comes when failure is no longer hidden, but redeemed into testimony that helps other men walk free.The turning point is mentorship. Jesus didn’t say, “Follow me and figure it out.” He said, “Follow me, and I will make you.” Jason brings this home through the powerful rite-of-passage story of Caleb, a young man born with club feet who completed a brutal course because a tribe refused to let him walk alone. This is the heart behind BraveCo: men formed in community, forged through challenge, and released with clarity and purpose.This episode is a call to movement—not theory. You’ll hear a practical vision for how men can get connected, equipped, challenged, and sent, and why identity is forged best in brotherhood. Great men aren’t born. They’re built—together.Next Steps<ul><li>Subscribe so you don’t miss future conversations</li><li>Share this episode with a man who needs brotherhood</li><li>Leave a review to help others find the podcast</li></ul>And we’d love to hear from you: Where are you in the journey—calling, testing, equipping, or commissioning?Patreon If you&apos;ve enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. <a href='https://patreon.com/datesmatesbabies?utm_medium=unknown&amp;utm_source=join_link&amp;utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&amp;utm_content=copyLink'>Click this link to support</a>! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to <a href='https://www.jasonandlaurenvallotton.com/'>jasonandlaurenvallotton.com</a> ! Connect with Lauren: <a href='https://www.instagram.com/lvallotton/'>Instagram</a> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/lauren.vallotton/'>Facebook</a> Connect with Jason: <a href='https://www.instagram.com/jayvallotton/'>Jay’s Instagram</a> <a href='https://www.facebook.com/JasonWilliamVallotton'>Jay’s Facebook</a> <a href='https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/'>BraveCo Instagram</a> <a href='http://www.braveco.org'>www.braveco.org</a>

<description>&lt;p&gt;This episode is a live recording of &lt;b&gt;Jason Vallotton’s&lt;/b&gt; message at &lt;b&gt;Bethel Church&lt;/b&gt; on November 30, 2025—a raw, clarifying teaching on &lt;em&gt;God’s Plan for Forming Men&lt;/em&gt;, shared in the context of the upcoming &lt;a href='https://www.braveco.org/riteofpassage'&gt;&lt;b&gt;BraveCo Rite of Passage Event&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt; in &lt;b&gt;Jacksonville&lt;/b&gt; February 28, 2026.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;God has a blueprint for forming men who carry strength, humility, and responsibility into their homes, marriages, and work. That blueprint is both simple and demanding—&lt;b&gt;formed, filled, and finished&lt;/b&gt;—and it unfolds through the stages of &lt;b&gt;calling, testing, equipping, and commissioning&lt;/b&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In this message, Jason unpacks why being made from dust matters, why being filled with the Spirit is non-negotiable, and why testing isn’t punishment but refinement. Marriage becomes a mirror. Work becomes a training ground. Feedback becomes the tool that confronts ego head-on. Equipping looks like delayed gratification—showing up when you don’t feel like it, choosing peace over pride, and learning to carry responsibility without collapsing under it. Commissioning comes when failure is no longer hidden, but redeemed into testimony that helps other men walk free.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The turning point is mentorship. Jesus didn’t say, “Follow me and figure it out.” He said, &lt;em&gt;“Follow me, and I will make you.”&lt;/em&gt; Jason brings this home through the powerful rite-of-passage story of Caleb, a young man born with club feet who completed a brutal course because a tribe refused to let him walk alone. This is the heart behind BraveCo: men formed in community, forged through challenge, and released with clarity and purpose.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This episode is a call to movement—not theory. You’ll hear a practical vision for how men can get connected, equipped, challenged, and sent, and why identity is forged best in brotherhood. Great men aren’t born. They’re built—together.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Next Steps&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Subscribe so you don’t miss future conversations&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Share this episode with a man who needs brotherhood&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Leave a review to help others find the podcast&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;And we’d love to hear from you: &lt;b&gt;Where are you in the journey—calling, testing, equipping, or commissioning?&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Patreon&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;If you&amp;apos;ve enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. &lt;a href='https://patreon.com/datesmatesbabies?utm_medium=unknown&amp;amp;utm_source=join_link&amp;amp;utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&amp;amp;utm_content=copyLink'&gt;Click this link to support&lt;/a&gt;! Thank you!&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to &lt;a href='https://www.jasonandlaurenvallotton.com/'&gt;jasonandlaurenvallotton.com&lt;/a&gt; !&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;b&gt;Connect with Lauren:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/lvallotton/'&gt;Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.facebook.com/lauren.vallotton/'&gt;Facebook&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;b&gt;Connect with Jason:&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/jayvallotton/'&gt;Jay’s Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.facebook.com/JasonWilliamVallotton'&gt;Jay’s Facebook&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/'&gt;BraveCo Instagram&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.braveco.org'&gt;www.braveco.org&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>

This episode is a live recording of Jason Vallotton’s message at Bethel Church on November 30, 2025—a raw, clarifying teaching on God’s Plan for Forming Men, shared in the context of the upcoming BraveCo Rite of Passage Event in Jacksonville February 28, 2026. God has a blueprint for forming men who carry strength, humility, and responsibility into their homes, marriages, and work. That blueprint is both simple and demanding—formed, filled, and finished—and it unfolds through the stages of ca...

140. God's Plan for Forming Men

We’re the Vallottons, and we’re passionate about people! Every human was created for fulfilling connections in relationship and family, but it’s not always what comes easiest! We know this because of our wide range of personal experiences as well as years of working with people. So we’re going to crack open topics like dating, marriage, family and parenting to encourage, entertain and equip you for a deeply fulfilling life of relational health.&nbsp; Support us at on Patreon at patreon.com/datesmatesbabies&nbsp;

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