This vs. That

On this episode of This vs. That, we sit down with Darby Strickland, faculty member and counselor at CCEF, to discuss understanding trauma versus simplistic responses to trauma. We explore what trauma really is and how it impacts people—disrupting their sense of self, safety, and ability to connect with others and the Lord.

Darby helps us recognize common simplistic responses that can unintentionally harm trauma survivors, like suggesting time will heal the wound, questioning someone's faith when they continue to struggle, or doubting their story when details emerge in a fragmented way. We discuss why people respond to the same events differently and how the label of "trauma" matters less than the pain someone is experiencing and their need for healing.

We also talk about how to love friends who are suffering from trauma—emphasizing a ministry of presence over having the right words, not taking things personally, and being willing to remain with someone even when it's difficult. Throughout our conversation, Darby reminds us that God's care isn't measured by how we categorize our pain, and that He meets us in our subjective experiences just as the Psalms model for us.

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You’re going to love what our partner organization, Rode Leadership, is offering: the Pastor’s Wives Cohort — an eight-week virtual experience designed to nourish, connect, and equip women in ministry.

And just for our This Versus That listeners — there’s a super early bird deal:

Get 25% off the regular $375 registration with code RODESUPER — but only through December 4th.

Craving connection? Need support? Just want to breathe and grow alongside others in ministry?

On this episode of This vs. That, we sit down with Brad Hambrick, pastor of counseling at the Summit Church in Durham, North Carolina, to discuss one of the most painful experiences a marriage can face: betrayal.

We explore the tension between idealized expectations of quick healing and the reality that recovery requires an intentional, patient process. Brad shares why "rarely is the first story, the whole story" and how incomplete information at the beginning can derail restoration efforts. We discuss the importance of full disclosure versus discovery, and why marriages often die from "a death of a thousand confessions" rather than the initial betrayal itself.

We examine the early stage work that must happen before forgiveness—gaining an accurate history of what occurred and assessing the unfaithful spouse's level of transparency and cooperation. Brad offers the profound insight that "there is as much hope for the marriage as there is honesty," helping us understand how to gauge realistic hope in the restoration process.

Throughout our conversation, we address how helpers can better support those who've experienced betrayal, why the betrayed spouse is often the most neglected individual in these situations, and how God's character speaks to this devastating reality.

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You’re going to love what our partner organization, Rode Leadership, is offering: the Pastor’s Wives Cohort — an eight-week virtual experience designed to nourish, connect, and equip women in ministry.

And just for our This Versus That listeners — there’s a super early bird deal:

Get 25% off the regular $375 registration with code RODESUPER — but only through December 4th.

Craving connection? Need support? Just want to breathe and grow alongside others in ministry?

On this episode of This vs. That, we explore one of the most important yet often misunderstood aspects of Christian marriage: sex. We sit down with Scott Mehl, pastor of Cornerstone Church of West LA and author of Redeeming Sex and Marriage, to discuss the difference between self-centered sex and God-centered sex.

We tackle questions like: What is God's design for sex and marriage? Why does physical intimacy get complicated even in the best of marriages? And what is the larger story that sex is telling?

Scott shares from his own journey—the confusion he and his wife Lauren experienced early in their marriage, and how that led him to search for what God actually says about this sensitive topic.We discuss the five purposes of sex, including how it serves as an expression of the relationship between Christ and the church.

We also address the practical side: how selfishness shows up in the bedroom, why viewing sex as a "need" can be problematic, and how the gospel speaks directly to our sexual brokenness.Throughout our conversation, we emphasize that God-centered sex is ultimately spouse-focused sex—a reflection of selfless love that points us to something greater.

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On this episode of This vs. That, we welcome Rebekah Hannah, not as our usual co-host, but as a special guest to discuss her leadership journey and the upcoming Women in Leadership cohort offered by Anchored Virtual starting in September. We explore how this cohort creates a space for women serving in various leadership roles to come together, find encouragement, and receive valuable teaching.

Becca shares her diverse leadership roles - from being President and CEO of Anchored Virtual to serving as Director of Kids and Families at Redeemer Lincoln Square in New York City, teaching as an adjunct professor at Baylor University, and balancing family life with three children.

We discuss the unique challenges women face in leadership, particularly in predominantly male-led spaces, and how maintaining confidence in Christ rather than position or approval from others has helped Becca navigate these environments.

The conversation concludes with details about the eight-week Women in Leadership cohort starting September 10th, featuring speakers like Alicia Britt Chole, Eliza Huey, Glenna Marshall, Ellen Dykes, Elyse Fitzpatrick, Eric Schumacher, Jared Wilson, and Kelly Kapic - each addressing crucial aspects of leadership from spiritual health to navigating challenges.

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