Disordered: Anxiety Help

This week on Disordered we're starting with the assertion that all anxiety disorders are obsessive and compulsive in at least some way. Then we make our way through all the "usual suspects"

• Panic disorder
• Health anxiety
• Social anxiety
• GAD
• OCD (obviously)

We're looking at the obsessional components of each anxiety flavor, and the corresponding common compulsions or rituals designed to easy anxiety and discomfort.

If you're worried because you think you have one type of anxiety ... and also OCD ... don't worry. While the usual "we're all a little OCD" thing is really awful and should be banned forever, within the context of anxiety disorders there are always obsessive and compulsive tendencies at play.

Also, shout out to selective mutism, which is officially an anxiety disorder according to the DSM-5 but has never been mentioned on this podcast before. Spoiler alert: neither Drew nor Josh had anything constructive to say in that moment because neither has any experience with that presentation. Sorry, selective mutism.

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This week Josh and Drew are answering questions from Disordered listeners.

• How to deal with the shame associated with anxiety and recovery when a partner or spouse isn't terribly supportive.
• How do re-gain confidence in oneself?
• What happens if you don't remember what non-anxious you was like?
• What about flushing, feeling hot, and getting goosebumps when anxious?
• I'm an introvert. What do I do when I want to go home to re-charge? Is that avoidance?
• What about when you're facing possible medical issues and it triggers anxiety?
• What about anxiety symptoms that are disruptive and I don't know how to manage them or stop them? What is that? If its a panic attack, how do I stop it?

As always, this episode includes some wins from the community, and healthy helpings of humor and compassion.

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This week Drew and Josh are talking about secondary fear.

When triggered into an anxious state by thoughts, sensations, or anything else, we ALL experience a jolt of fear or discomfort. This is primary fear and its simply part of being human. Overcoming an anxiety disorder is not about removing this natural, healthy response to possible threats. People struggling with anxiety disorders will often make the mistake of trying to turn off the primary fear response to feel better.

But if you want to overcome disordered and chronic states of anxiety, you want to work on turning down the secondary fear response. This is the response that makes you afraid ... or being afraid. Secondary fear is what we call it when you misinterpret primary fear as itself dangerous and begin to take evasive action to get away from, manage, stop, or prevent this internal experience. Secondary fear - and acting to keep secondary fear alive - is what really drives the disordered state.

Tune in to hear a discussion about how to play charades with your amygdala and how to respond to its "call to perform" in a way that lets you slowly turn down that secondary fear response bit by bit over time. As usual, we're adding some humor and a dose of patience and kindness as is needed in any process that involves doing scary, difficult things on purpose.

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Everyone that develops an anxiety disorder wants to know why that happened. Why do some people develop disorders while others are anxious and stressed all the time without ever developing a disorder issue?

Excellent question, and one that nobody would blame you for asking.

This week on Disordered we're exploring the origins of anxiety disorders, why they develop, what makes us more vulnerable to this, why symptoms and scary thoughts happen, and the relationship between stress (inevitable in life) and disordered anxiety.

We're also looking at how there can be many contributing factors that might trigger development of an anxiety disorder, but paradoxically directly addressing those factors is not usually the way to get out of the state you find yourself in. First we "turn off the tap" (tune in for more on this) and learn to stand up on our own, then addressing contributing factors and working on overall wellness and good relapse prevention strategies and skills can - and often do - become part of the plan.

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Anxious people in recovery from chronic or disordered anxiety can find themselves bored ... and this is often a problem. This week on Disordered we're talking about learning to be bored. Yes, we have to learn how to be bored, which can be challenging if anxiety is a problem for you, but this is a skill well worth learning and practicing.

Allowing yourself to sit quietly or to engage in random activities that may or may not have any purpose at all is a real thing. Not everything needs to be analyzed and evaluated in the context of anxiety recovery. Its perfectly OK to "not recover" for a while and to allow yourself to be bored, or idle. Might you experience thoughts or even sensations that you still fear a little? Yes! But this is normal. Bring those things with you into your boredom. Don't be tricked into thinking that idle time or boredom are dangerous or damaging in some way.

Of note in this episode is a discussion of how reclaiming boredom and idle time without engaging in constant movement, distraction, or consumption of content is a good idea for ALL humans, not just anxious people.

If you're finding yourself bored, or with idle time on your hands, this can be a good sign in your recovery. But if you find this disturbing - if boredom is itself anxiety producing - this episode may prove helpful. Give it a listen.

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