#SEXHAPPENS

About a year and a half ago, Lucas shared with me that he had broken the agreements we set during our time apart—a period we had intentionally created to find balance and gain clarity about the future of our relationship.This episode is an honest reflection on where we are now (recorded on May 3rd, 2025). We’ve anticipated sharing this conversation for a long time. We even tried recording it last September, but at the time, the topic was still too raw—filled with emotional triggers and uncertainty.One of the reasons we recorded this is to unpack the layers of shame that surfaced throughout the process—shame that felt like a Pandora’s box once opened. Another reason is to mark our growth, forgiveness, and the healing that’s taken root since.This episode isn’t a step-by-step guide to healing after infidelity. If you or someone you know is navigating something similar, I strongly encourage you to build a supportive network—friends, family, therapy, and other resources—to help hold you through the journey toward sustainable healing and growth.

In this episode, Danielle Herrera, LMFT, shares her personal and professional journey of decolonizing mental health. We are initiated into the intergenerational wisdom and trauma of our ancestors. Healing multiple generations of trauma is the duality of returning what's not ours, and allowing ourselves to be held in the relational and collective space of of something bigger - divinity, nature, and ancestry. Danielle speaks about an Arabic phrase from Islam, أَسْتَغْفِرُ ٱللَّٰهَ (Astaghfirullah) which signifies "seeking forgiveness from god;" A process of releasing and returning trauma to a higher power, which we may experience through the "initiation" of our ancestral trauma.

In this episode Dr. John Elfers shares his story of religious devotion and the difficulty he experienced in reconciling sexuality with spirituality. If sex is one of the most powerful connections we can make with the divine, why is it so common that our spirituality and religion leaves us feeling shameful, sinful, and impure? Dr. Elfers talks about his experience as a sex educator highlighting some of the challenges and misalignments we experience in adulthood which prevent the passing on of healthy beliefs and attitudes about sex to children.

Stephanie Estey, Co-Founder and Co-CEO of TBD Health shares her insight and journey to launching a sexual health clinic. "STD Testing without Judgment" is an accurate description of the people, the place, the services, and the vision for TBD Health. Operating in two physical clinics (Las Vegas, NV, and Denver, CO) and online in almost all 50 states, TBD Health offers safe, accurate, and discreet testing services for all folks. Stephanie shares her personal vision for the clinic as well as poignant examples of how destigmatizing sexual healthcare is critical. Check out TBD Health at TBD.health

Our special guest shares a very intimate story of early childhood sexual abuse. The episode contains themes of sexual abuse, physical violence, addiction, and infidelity. Our guest reflects on the continuous journey of healing that has brought her so much strength as a reclamation of her own power. She overcomes the hold of secrecy to seek therapy and support, ultimately becoming a therapist herself and inspiring others' healing along the way. Her story is one of resilience. If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, we encourage you to seek support safely. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be accessed at 1-800-799-7233, or by texting "BEGIN" to 88788.