<description>&lt;p&gt;December brings presents… and pressure. Family dynamics get loud, expectations get heavier, and suddenly you’re managing everyone’s feelings and your ADHD child’s reactions — all while trying not to implode.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This episode answers a powerful listener question: How do I handle gift-opening with my ADHD/PDA child without feeling ashamed, judged, or like I’m failing?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;It’s not just about presents. It’s about generational conditioning, people-pleasing, masking, and the old belief that ‘being liked = being good.’&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What We Cover&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Why ADHD/PDA kids may not react the “expected” way to gifts&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;The inherited ‘good girl’ conditioning mums carry into adulthood&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Fawning as a trauma response (and why it flares during Christmas)&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;How masking is taught — and why many of us learned adult comfort &amp;gt; child honesty&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;How to script boundaries with family without apologising&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;What to do before, during and after gift-opening to reduce conflict&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Why guilt shows up (and why it doesn’t mean you’re wrong)&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;This Episode Is For You If…&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Your stomach drops any time someone comments on your child’s reactions&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;You’re torn between protecting your child and appeasing adults&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;You feel responsible for everyone’s comfort — except your own&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;You want to break the ‘good girl’ cycle, but December makes it hard&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;You need language, scripts, and validation for navigating family events&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Resources &amp;amp; Links&amp;nbsp;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Related Podcast Episodes&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Good Girl Episode&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-59-stop-editing-yourself-red-pen-christmas/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Red Pen Christmas: How to Stop Editing Yourself for Everyone Else&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/christmas-is-the-finish-line/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;Christmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling Ther&lt;/a&gt;e&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Relevant Tools &amp;amp; Programs&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/plan" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Festive F* It Plan*&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;* &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;em&gt;— your calmer, kinder December blueprint&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-boundaries-people-pleasing-kit/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;&lt;em&gt;ADHD Mums Guide to Boundaries &amp;amp; Breaking Free from People-Pleasing&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-guide-to-managing-overwhelm-during-busy-seasons/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;&lt;em&gt;ADHD Mum’s Guide to Managing Overwhelm During Busy Seasons&amp;nbsp;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/product/navigating-impulse-spending-during-the-holidays-with-adhd/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;&lt;em&gt;Navigating Impulse Spending During the Holidays with ADHD&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Community &amp;amp; Forms&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href="https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;Listener Question Form&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/group" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"&gt;ADHD Mums Facebook Community&lt;/a&gt; — collective wisdom + real-life scripts&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Content Warning&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This episode touches on masking, childhood invalidation, and trauma-related people-pleasing patterns.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Listen Now&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Spotify | Apple | adhdmums.com.au&lt;/p&gt;</description>

ADHD Mums

Jane McFadden

66. Stop People-Pleasing This Christmas — The Year I Stopped Apologising for My Child

DEC 15, 202520 MIN
ADHD Mums

66. Stop People-Pleasing This Christmas — The Year I Stopped Apologising for My Child

DEC 15, 202520 MIN

Description

December brings presents… and pressure. Family dynamics get loud, expectations get heavier, and suddenly you’re managing everyone’s feelings and your ADHD child’s reactions — all while trying not to implode.This episode answers a powerful listener question: How do I handle gift-opening with my ADHD/PDA child without feeling ashamed, judged, or like I’m failing? It’s not just about presents. It’s about generational conditioning, people-pleasing, masking, and the old belief that ‘being liked = being good.’What We CoverWhy ADHD/PDA kids may not react the “expected” way to giftsThe inherited ‘good girl’ conditioning mums carry into adulthoodFawning as a trauma response (and why it flares during Christmas)How masking is taught — and why many of us learned adult comfort > child honestyHow to script boundaries with family without apologisingWhat to do before, during and after gift-opening to reduce conflictWhy guilt shows up (and why it doesn’t mean you’re wrong)This Episode Is For You If…Your stomach drops any time someone comments on your child’s reactionsYou’re torn between protecting your child and appeasing adultsYou feel responsible for everyone’s comfort — except your ownYou want to break the ‘good girl’ cycle, but December makes it hardYou need language, scripts, and validation for navigating family eventsResources & Links Related Podcast EpisodesThe Good Girl EpisodeThe Red Pen Christmas: How to Stop Editing Yourself for Everyone ElseChristmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling ThereRelevant Tools & ProgramsFestive F* It Plan** — your calmer, kinder December blueprintADHD Mums Guide to Boundaries & Breaking Free from People-PleasingADHD Mum’s Guide to Managing Overwhelm During Busy Seasons Navigating Impulse Spending During the Holidays with ADHDCommunity & FormsListener Question Form  ADHD Mums Facebook Community — collective wisdom + real-life scriptsContent WarningThis episode touches on masking, childhood invalidation, and trauma-related people-pleasing patterns.Listen NowSpotify | Apple | adhdmums.com.au