Historical Homos

To access extended episodes of Historical Homos, join our Patreon. Our community awaits with legs open and lips parted 🤤www.patreon.com/historicalhomosWhy oh why are men so obsessed with our penises?Join us today as we embark on a dick-scented odyssey to answer one of the 21st century's most urgent questions.5,000 years ago, the Mesopotamians said their gods' divine jizz created the world. The Egyptians agreed, worshipping the power of giant, divine cocks.Which is also why they cut their enemies' dicks off after a battle to present to Pharaoh.The Greeks then argued for a tiny, cropped penis...which is a lot BETTER for procreation, actually, thank you Aristotle for saying that!The Romans made everything about horse cocks and sexual domination. Shocker.And the Christians – well, the Christians would prefer you stop talking such FILTH, you disgusting sinner!It's been a distressingly complex couple of millennia for humanity, full of all this penis pandemonium. We've sent shuttles to the moon, but we still can't figure out our own shafts.Is the dick really divine? Or is the penis a spiritual problem? Will we ever master our members? Or do we have to accept that our schlongs belong to another side of ourselves?Join Bash and his brilliant, hilarious guest – author and playwright R. Eric Thomas (https://rericthomas.com) – as they try desperately to answer all these penile questions. Now, come on in! The water is...human temperature.🎧 Listen now on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Penis weights and hung garden gnomes sold separately.📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.⭐ Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Episode CreditsWritten and hosted by BashEdited by Alex ToskasProduced by Dani HenionGuest: R. Eric Thomas© Sebastian Hendra 2026 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We've got a special treat for you this week, my little Hormones!Historical Homos is proud to present this episode of the Spirits Podcast, a history and comedy pod devoted to mythology, folklore, and the occult.Every episode of the Spirits Podcast features co-hosts Julia and Amanda mixing a drink and discovering a new story or character from a wide range of places, eras, and cultures. Learn brand-new stories and enjoy retellings of your favorite myths, served over ice every week, on Spirits.They're fun, they're clever, they are effectively our spiritual sister podcast (get it? cuz SPIRITS). So please enjoy this episode and we'll be back in your earholes next week with more OG Historical Homos content!***Spirits Podcast: "Jewish Lesbian Vampires"Author Samara Breger is here to reclaim vampires as queer, feminist, and Jewish figures. Let's find out how! Content Warning: This episode contains conversations about or mentions of antisemitism, The Holocaust, eugenics, blood, homophobia/lesbophobia, misogyny, stalking, predatory relationships, animal death, sex, and death.GuestSamara Breger writes books about women in improbable circumstances falling in love. Before she started writing books, she worked in public radio, podcasting, and digital journalism. She is a proud News and Documentary Emmy loser. If you peek into her work history, you'll find a lot of stuff about sex, reproductive health, and queer people. Her new book, A Long Time Dead, is now available.Find Us Online- Website & Transcripts: spiritspodcast.com- Patreon: patreon.com/spiritspodcast- Merch: spiritspodcast.com/merch- Instagram: instagram.com/spiritspodcast- Bluesky: bsky.app/profile/spiritspodcast.com- Twitter: twitter.com/spiritspodcast- Tumblr: spiritspodcast.tumblr.comCast & Crew- Co-Hosts: Julia Schifini and Amanda McLoughlin- Editor: Bren Frederick- Music: Brandon Grugle, based on "Danger Storm" by Kevin MacLeod- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman- Multitude: multitude.productions ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

To access extended episodes of Historical Homos, join our Patreon. Our community awaits with legs open and lips parted 🤤www.patreon.com/historicalhomosPhilippe d’Orléans is back! And it's no more Mr. Nice Queen thanks to his brother, Louis XIV, and his bitchass absolutist ways.In Part Two of our series on Philippe, this fabulous fuckboi nepo baby pass around party bottom of 17th century France, our hero is getting fed up with playing second fiddle.Fresh off the suspicious death (aka murder?) of his wife and the return to court of his chaotic boyfriend, the Chevalier de Lorraine, Philippe dives headfirst into the messy latter half of his astonishing life.A brilliant military strategist, he will win a major victory for France (which Louis just cannot handle) and get himself banned from ever holding a future post in the army.He will marry his second wife, the fantastically witty Madame Palatine (aka Liselotte of the Rhineland), and try her patience by spending all her money on his conniving boyfriends.He will also become the second richest man in France after his brother, thanks to inheritances, real estate development (is there anything gayer?), and a private collection of Chinese porcelains that Bash is looking to purchase, if anyone has any leads.The playboy becomes the player, in other words, though Louis will continue to play him at every turn. And when Philippe's son starts getting passed up for army jobs – things get heated rivalry (but not sexy, just kind of plain rivalry).In fact, things get so heated rivalry that heads begin to roll...but in the end, Philippe will have the last word.🎧 Listen on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Lace cuffs and Ming Dynasty butt plugs (porcelain) sold separately.📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.⭐ Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review.Episode CreditsWritten and hosted by BashEdited by Alex ToskasProduced by Dani HenionGuest: Dr. Jonathan Spangler© Sebastian Hendra 2026 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

To access extended episodes of Historical Homos, join our Patreon. Our community awaits with legs open and lips parted 🤤www.patreon.com/historicalhomosEveryone knows about Louis XIV, the Sun King of 17th century France, who built Versailles, slept with every noblewoman in France, and invented men wearing high heels (see, straight people can do the right thing sometimes!).But did you know his brother, Philippe, was gayer than Christmas?Raised as the “spare” heir to the French throne, Philippe was never destined to rule, but that didn’t stop him from becoming fabulously rich, politically influential, and very well-acquainted with the rectums of Versailles' male population.From childhood drag to a 40-year-old relationship with his favourite, the Chevalier de Lorraine, Philippe lived a life that was equal parts power, party, and pig bottom realness.In Part One of our series on Philippe, we travel back to a France where “homosexuality” didn’t quite exist yet, but sodomy and bisexual libertinism very much did. We unpack Philippe’s early years, the politics of being a royal second son (which Bash understands firsthand), and how Philippe tried to carve out a role for himself in the shadow of the Sun King – all while assembling a harem of triflin' pansies, sorry I mean loving, aristocratic boyfriends*.In 17th century France, as in every period of human history, the only crime was being boring. And Philippe was anything but.🎧 Listen now on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Shepherdess gowns and diamond-studded heels sold separately.📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.⭐ Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review.Episode CreditsWritten and hosted by BashEdited by Alex ToskasProduced by Dani HenionGuest: Dr. Jonathan Spangler© Sebastian Hendra 2026 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

To access extended episodes of Historical Homos, join our Patreon. Our community awaits with legs open and lips parted 🤤www.patreon.com/historicalhomos*THE ANCIENT ROMANS HAD A GOD OF BIG DICK ENERGY AND WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT.GIRLS AND BOYS, MEET PRIAPUS. 🍆Remember when the internet decided Pete Davidson had a giant schlong? Well, turns out people have been fantasizing about hung humans since the Ancient Romans.Everyone always complains that the marble statues of antiquity seem to have surprisingly small penises – was everyone micro back then? What did the size queens do?But the truth is – the ancient world was full of dicks, big and small. There were dicks on houses, at intersections, in art, and of course, in milady's bedside table.AND – dicks were actually sacred to the ancients!From the phallic Herms that warded off evil to Priapus' fertility-granting member, Big Dick Energy was everywhere. Because dicks were a symbol of agricultural power, magical protection, and prosperity.2,000 years ago, Cock was King.But it wasn’t all rainbows and dildos. In Greece, big dicks were a joke, a sign of an oversexed – and therefore unrestrained – man. Meanwhile, the Romans took things in a more violent direction (surprise). Which is why they turned the Hung Horny Goat Weed, Priapus, son of Dionysus and Aphrodite, into a toxic masculinity fantasy of sexual violence.This fantasy of priapic domination was unique to the Romans in the ancient world – the Greeks preferred to model self-restraint and wisdom, which of course is the unique jurisdiction of the average-size penis. But really…let’s be honest.If a 10-foot marble Hercules walked in with his tiny little “11th toe”?You’d be so fucking down.🎧 Listen now on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Giant garden gnome dildo sold separately.📱 Follow @historical.homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and sign up to our newsletter at www.historicalhomos.com if you care about gay people, like, at all.⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ reviews are welcome, encouraged, and financially rewarded. (Kidding.) (Maybe.)Episode CreditsWritten and hosted by Bash.Edited by Alex Toskas.Produced by Dani Henion. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★