Black women have been visible for a long time. In culture. In labor. In struggle. In the room. And yet visibility alone has never been enough to guarantee protection, resources, or rest.In this episode, Kianti gets into it. A recent headline sparked a bigger conversation about what it actually costs Black women to choose themselves, and whether that choice is even equally available to all of us. Spoiler: Kianti had feelings. A lot of them.We&apos;re talking about the difference between taking up space and having the infrastructure to do it, the impossible standard Black women are held to no matter what they choose, and why being seen has never automatically meant being supported.This one is personal, a little spicy, and very much a kitchen table conversation.In this episode:<ul><li>The headline that started it all — and what it really stirred up</li><li>Visibility without protection: a pattern as old as us</li><li>The double standard that never seems to go away</li><li>What &quot;choosing yourself&quot; actually requires  and who gets to do it freely</li><li>A real talk about rest, permission, and the price we pay either way</li></ul>Kianti also shared how much she LOVED Kristen Berry&apos;s novel, &quot;We Don&apos;t Talk About Carol.&quot;  Check out the link to purchase <a href='https://bookshop.org/p/books/we-don-t-talk-about-carol-a-novel-kristen-l-berry/1638845dbaf3336b?ean=9780593974438&amp;next=t'>here</a>.Instagram @BlackGirlsBonding

<description>&lt;p&gt;Black women have been visible for a long time. In culture. In labor. In struggle. In the room. And yet visibility alone has never been enough to guarantee protection, resources, or rest.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In this episode, Kianti gets into it. A recent headline sparked a bigger conversation about what it actually costs Black women to choose themselves, and whether that choice is even equally available to all of us. Spoiler: Kianti had feelings. A lot of them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;We&amp;apos;re talking about the difference between taking up space and having the infrastructure to do it, the impossible standard Black women are held to no matter what they choose, and why being seen has never automatically meant being supported.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This one is personal, a little spicy, and very much a kitchen table conversation.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;In this episode:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;The headline that started it all — and what it really stirred up&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Visibility without protection: a pattern as old as us&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;The double standard that never seems to go away&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;What &amp;quot;choosing yourself&amp;quot; actually requires  and who gets to do it freely&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;A real talk about rest, permission, and the price we pay either way&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kianti also shared how much she LOVED Kristen Berry&amp;apos;s novel, &amp;quot;We Don&amp;apos;t Talk About Carol.&amp;quot;  Check out the link to purchase &lt;a href='https://bookshop.org/p/books/we-don-t-talk-about-carol-a-novel-kristen-l-berry/1638845dbaf3336b?ean=9780593974438&amp;amp;next=t'&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Instagram @BlackGirlsBonding&lt;/p&gt;</description>

Black women have been visible for a long time. In culture. In labor. In struggle. In the room. And yet visibility alone has never been enough to guarantee protection, resources, or rest. In this episode, Kianti gets into it. A recent headline sparked a bigger conversation about what it actually costs Black women to choose themselves, and whether that choice is even equally available to all of us. Spoiler: Kianti had feelings. A lot of them. We're talking about the difference between taking up...

The Visibility Tax

In this deeply affirming and honest conversation, Kianti sits down with Dr. Nikki,  licensed psychologist, published scholar, and unapologetic advocate for Black women&apos;s well-being, to talk about what it really costs high-achieving Black women to keep showing up for everyone but themselves.Dr. Nikki opens up about her own winding path: from university professor to getting tenure at the University of Houston, hitting burnout, navigating an integrity clash at MD Anderson over anti-racism training, and ultimately going full private practice in 2021 at 51. Her story is a masterclass in betting on yourself — even when it&apos;s scary.In this episode, we get into:<ul><li>Why high-achieving Black women are often the most disconnected from their own pleasure and how it all starts in childhood</li><li>The link between proximity to white supremacist culture and delayed emotional development</li><li>Why pleasure (yes, all kinds) is a source of power and reclamation, not indulgence</li><li>What it actually looks like to advocate for yourself sexually and why most partners want to know but need a roadmap</li><li>Practical ways to reconnect with your body when masturbation or sex feels off the table</li><li>Perimenopause: what nobody told us, what our mamas went through unmedicated, and why we&apos;re doing it differently</li><li>What &quot;choosing yourself&quot; looks like as a Black woman — and how watching little Black girls be free reminded Dr. Nikki of who she was before the world got to her</li></ul>Dr. Nikki is a licensed psychologist currently accepting individual and group therapy clients (high-achieving Black women) virtually in 46 states.📌 Find Dr. Nikki: @DrNikkiKnows on Instagram, Threads, YouTube | DrNikkiKnows.com📖 What Dr. Nikki is reading: Criminal Intentions by Cole McCabe — a queer, diverse crime thriller she describes as an absolute chokehold.Instagram @BlackGirlsBonding

<description>&lt;p&gt;In this deeply affirming and honest conversation, Kianti sits down with Dr. Nikki,  licensed psychologist, published scholar, and unapologetic advocate for Black women&amp;apos;s well-being, to talk about what it really costs high-achieving Black women to keep showing up for everyone but themselves.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Nikki opens up about her own winding path: from university professor to getting tenure at the University of Houston, hitting burnout, navigating an integrity clash at MD Anderson over anti-racism training, and ultimately going full private practice in 2021 at 51. Her story is a masterclass in betting on yourself — even when it&amp;apos;s scary.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;In this episode, we get into:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Why high-achieving Black women are often the most disconnected from their own pleasure and how it all starts in childhood&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;The link between proximity to white supremacist culture and delayed emotional development&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Why pleasure (yes, &lt;em&gt;all&lt;/em&gt; kinds) is a source of power and reclamation, not indulgence&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;What it actually looks like to advocate for yourself sexually and why most partners &lt;em&gt;want&lt;/em&gt; to know but need a roadmap&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Practical ways to reconnect with your body when masturbation or sex feels off the table&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Perimenopause: what nobody told us, what our mamas went through unmedicated, and why we&amp;apos;re doing it differently&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;What &amp;quot;choosing yourself&amp;quot; looks like as a Black woman — and how watching little Black girls be free reminded Dr. Nikki of who she was before the world got to her&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;Dr. Nikki is a licensed psychologist currently accepting individual and group therapy clients (high-achieving Black women) virtually in 46 states.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;📌 &lt;b&gt;Find Dr. Nikki:&lt;/b&gt; @DrNikkiKnows on Instagram, Threads, YouTube | DrNikkiKnows.com&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;📖 &lt;b&gt;What Dr. Nikki is reading:&lt;/b&gt; &lt;em&gt;Criminal Intentions&lt;/em&gt; by Cole McCabe — a queer, diverse crime thriller she describes as an absolute chokehold.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Instagram @BlackGirlsBonding&lt;/p&gt;</description>

In this deeply affirming and honest conversation, Kianti sits down with Dr. Nikki,  licensed psychologist, published scholar, and unapologetic advocate for Black women's well-being, to talk about what it really costs high-achieving Black women to keep showing up for everyone but themselves. Dr. Nikki opens up about her own winding path: from university professor to getting tenure at the University of Houston, hitting burnout, navigating an integrity clash at MD Anderson over anti-racism ...

Pleasure Is Power: Reclaiming Your Body, Joy, and Yourself with Dr. Nikki

This week’s episode was inspired by a podcast episode I heard with poet Ross Gay, who shared how he intentionally looks for small daily delights and writes them down. That idea stuck and sparked a bigger reflection about how easy it is to train our minds to find what’s wrong instead of what’s good.In this solo episode of Black Girls Bonding, we talk about:<ul><li> How our brains can become wired to scan for problems </li><li> Why finding joy can feel uncomfortable during chaotic times </li><li> The idea that delight might be an antidote to isolation </li><li> How community shows up in the simplest, most everyday moments </li></ul>Kianti shares real examples of what has been bringing her joy lately, including:<ul><li> Slow mornings with coffee and quiet thoughts </li><li> Reading in an oversized chair with jazz in the background </li><li> Cozy reality TV nights with friends </li><li> Long catch-up calls that cover everything from life updates to pop culture chaos </li></ul>A surprising realization emerges: most moments of delight are free and rooted in connection.The episode ends with a question for listeners:  What delights are you intentionally making space for right now?Next week, a guest joins the show for a conversation you won’t want to miss.Instagram @BlackGirlsBonding

<description>&lt;p&gt;This week’s episode was inspired by a podcast episode I heard with poet &lt;b&gt;Ross Gay&lt;/b&gt;, who shared how he intentionally looks for small daily delights and writes them down. That idea stuck and sparked a bigger reflection about how easy it is to train our minds to find what’s wrong instead of what’s good.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In this solo episode of &lt;b&gt;Black Girls Bonding&lt;/b&gt;, we talk about:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt; How our brains can become wired to scan for problems &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; Why finding joy can feel uncomfortable during chaotic times &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; The idea that delight might be an antidote to isolation &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; How community shows up in the simplest, most everyday moments &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;Kianti shares real examples of what has been bringing her joy lately, including:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt; Slow mornings with coffee and quiet thoughts &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; Reading in an oversized chair with jazz in the background &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; Cozy reality TV nights with friends &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt; Long catch-up calls that cover everything from life updates to pop culture chaos &lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;A surprising realization emerges: most moments of delight are free and rooted in connection.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The episode ends with a question for listeners:&lt;br/&gt; What delights are you intentionally making space for right now?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Next week, a guest joins the show for a conversation you won’t want to miss.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Instagram @BlackGirlsBonding&lt;/p&gt;</description>

This week’s episode was inspired by a podcast episode I heard with poet Ross Gay, who shared how he intentionally looks for small daily delights and writes them down. That idea stuck and sparked a bigger reflection about how easy it is to train our minds to find what’s wrong instead of what’s good. In this solo episode of Black Girls Bonding, we talk about:  How our brains can become wired to scan for problems  Why finding joy can feel uncomfortable during chaotic times &n...

Finding Joy in the Chaos

Atlanta is having one of those “fake spring” weeks. Warm sunshine one day, cold temperatures the next. It feels like the weather is faking us out.That idea ended up becoming the perfect metaphor for this season of life.In this episode, I’m reflecting on what it means to sit in the meantime. That period where things are moving, but maybe not as quickly or as smoothly as you hoped.Over the past few months, I’ve had a lot of honest conversations with fellow entrepreneurs, many of them Black women, and we’ve all been saying the same thing. The year isn’t quite popping the way we expected.That realization pushed me to look inward and ask some hard questions.Was I really doing everything I could be doing? Was fear holding me back from taking bigger, bolder steps? What would it look like to trust my track record and move forward anyway?In this episode, I talk about:• The fear that shows up when we try to build something new  • Why remembering your “receipts” matters  • How Black women are often taught to shrink instead of celebrate ourselves  • What it looks like to use slow seasons intentionally  • Finding joy, rest, and growth in the meantimeBecause the truth is, life rarely lines up perfectly. There is almost always something unfinished, uncertain, or still unfolding.So the question becomes: what do we do with the time in between?Pop Culture CornerThis week I’m talking about the HBO series Industry and while I loved the show, I hated each one of the characters. It has all of the makings of your fave new show: the ambition, the cutthroat culture, and the characters you love to hate.Let’s just say… I couldn’t root for any of them.Instagram @BlackGirlsBonding

<description>&lt;p&gt;Atlanta is having one of those “fake spring” weeks. Warm sunshine one day, cold temperatures the next. It feels like the weather is faking us out.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;That idea ended up becoming the perfect metaphor for this season of life.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In this episode, I’m reflecting on what it means to sit in the meantime. That period where things are moving, but maybe not as quickly or as smoothly as you hoped.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Over the past few months, I’ve had a lot of honest conversations with fellow entrepreneurs, many of them Black women, and we’ve all been saying the same thing. The year isn’t quite popping the way we expected.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;That realization pushed me to look inward and ask some hard questions.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Was I really doing everything I could be doing?&lt;br/&gt;Was fear holding me back from taking bigger, bolder steps?&lt;br/&gt;What would it look like to trust my track record and move forward anyway?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In this episode, I talk about:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;• The fear that shows up when we try to build something new&lt;br/&gt; • Why remembering your “receipts” matters&lt;br/&gt; • How Black women are often taught to shrink instead of celebrate ourselves&lt;br/&gt; • What it looks like to use slow seasons intentionally&lt;br/&gt; • Finding joy, rest, and growth in the meantime&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Because the truth is, life rarely lines up perfectly. There is almost always something unfinished, uncertain, or still unfolding.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;So the question becomes: what do we do with the time in between?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Pop Culture Corner&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This week I’m talking about the HBO series &lt;b&gt;Industry&lt;/b&gt; and while I loved the show, I hated each one of the characters. It has all of the makings of your fave new show: the ambition, the cutthroat culture, and the characters you love to hate.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Let’s just say… I couldn’t root for any of them.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Instagram @BlackGirlsBonding&lt;/p&gt;</description>

Atlanta is having one of those “fake spring” weeks. Warm sunshine one day, cold temperatures the next. It feels like the weather is faking us out. That idea ended up becoming the perfect metaphor for this season of life. In this episode, I’m reflecting on what it means to sit in the meantime. That period where things are moving, but maybe not as quickly or as smoothly as you hoped. Over the past few months, I’ve had a lot of honest conversations with fellow entrepreneurs, many of them Black w...

The Meantime

Most of us have been told that growth requires discomfort. Intellectually, we get that. We nod along. We agree. Emotionally? It hits different.In this episode, I share a moment that stopped me in my tracks while I was on my treadmill, huffing through an incline workout. When my instructor said, “If you’re comfortable, increase your speed,” it felt like she was talking about more than fitness.I’ve been clear about wanting a soft and lucrative life. Slow mornings. Coffee. Journaling. Movement. Rest. But what I had to confront is this: softness does not eliminate discomfort. It simply means you choose where and how you stretch yourself.In this episode, I talk about:<ul><li>Why comfort won’t produce the results we say we want</li><li>How softness and ambition can coexist</li><li>The areas in my life where I am choosing to turn up the heat</li><li>What it really takes to build the business, body, and life you envision</li></ul>There is no point of arrival. There is only evolution.If you’re feeling stuck, craving growth, or wondering how to balance ease with effort, this one is for you.And yes, I give my quick take on Selling Sunset because I am late and obsessed.DM me or email me and tell me: where are you willing to get uncomfortable?Instagram @BlackGirlsBonding

<description>&lt;p&gt;Most of us have been told that growth requires discomfort. Intellectually, we get that. We nod along. We agree. Emotionally? It hits different.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In this episode, I share a moment that stopped me in my tracks while I was on my treadmill, huffing through an incline workout. When my instructor said, “If you’re comfortable, increase your speed,” it felt like she was talking about more than fitness.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I’ve been clear about wanting a soft and lucrative life. Slow mornings. Coffee. Journaling. Movement. Rest. But what I had to confront is this: softness does not eliminate discomfort. It simply means you choose where and how you stretch yourself.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In this episode, I talk about:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Why comfort won’t produce the results we say we want&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;How softness and ambition can coexist&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;The areas in my life where I am choosing to turn up the heat&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;What it really takes to build the business, body, and life you envision&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;There is no point of arrival. There is only evolution.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you’re feeling stuck, craving growth, or wondering how to balance ease with effort, this one is for you.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;And yes, I give my quick take on Selling Sunset because I am late and obsessed.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;DM me or email me and tell me: where are you willing to get uncomfortable?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Instagram @BlackGirlsBonding&lt;/p&gt;</description>

Most of us have been told that growth requires discomfort. Intellectually, we get that. We nod along. We agree. Emotionally? It hits different. In this episode, I share a moment that stopped me in my tracks while I was on my treadmill, huffing through an incline workout. When my instructor said, “If you’re comfortable, increase your speed,” it felt like she was talking about more than fitness. I’ve been clear about wanting a soft and lucrative life. Slow mornings. Coffee. Journaling. Movement...

Soft Life. Hard Truths.

This is a place where Black women can come and feel safe to share their experiences and challenge the status quo.&nbsp; From managing relationships and career, to navigating day-to-day life, this is a space for community and connection.

Black Girls Bonding

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