The Bad Prophet: You’re Probably Not as Good at Reading People as You Think
How good are you really at reading people?
Most of us like to believe we are above average at detecting lies, sensing energy, reading body language, picking up on vibes, and knowing what someone “really means.” But the research tells a very different story. In this episode, April and Scott unpack one of the most quietly destructive patterns in relationships: the confidence we place in our own interpretations, especially when fear gets involved.
They begin with a hilarious and painfully revealing self-test. Are you better than average at spotting a liar? A better driver? Less biased than most people? More emotionally intelligent? Like most of us, April has strong answers. Then Scott brings in the numbers, including studies showing that people are barely better than chance at detecting lies, wildly overestimate their own abilities, and almost never think they are more biased than the average person.
From there, the conversation turns personal.
April shares how old survival patterns can make her misread silence, body language, or a delayed response as evidence that something is wrong. Scott tells a story he has never shared before about seeing April texting, feeling an instant threat response, checking her phone, and realizing she had simply been messaging her son about her grandbaby. Nothing was wrong, but his body had already built a case.
This is the heart of what they call The Bad Prophet in their upcoming book, Wild Love Theory: the part of us that takes partial information, adds old pain, turns fear into certainty, and predicts a future that may not be real.
In non-monogamy, the Bad Prophet can be especially powerful. A partner flirts with someone else, makes out with someone else, gets quiet, seems distracted, or does something slightly unexpected, and suddenly the mind begins narrating: I’m not enough. They want them more. I’m losing them. This means something about my worth.
But pain is not always proof. A body reaction is real, but the story attached to it may be wrong.
April and Scott also introduce the opposite practice: The Unprophet. Instead of treating your first fear-story as truth, you learn to slow down, separate fact from interpretation, ask better questions, give your nervous system time to settle, and make room for explanations that fear did not choose first.
This episode is funny, vulnerable, research-backed, and deeply practical for anyone navigating love, jealousy, non-monogamy, conflict, insecurity, or old relational wounds.
You may be intuitive. You may be emotionally intelligent. You may even be right sometimes.
But this episode asks the harder question:
What if the story that feels most true is only the first draft?
