NAUGHTY GYM SHOW - Non-Monogamy, Open Relationships, and Living Well

What if the goal is not to erase jealousy, but to stop letting it drive the car? Dr. Marie Thouin joins April and Scott to define compersion in clear, grounded terms, and to explain why it can show up as an emotion, an attitude, or even simple supportive neutrality. They talk about the spectrum from “I can handle this” to genuine joy, the “second arrow” of self-inflicted suffering, and the conditions that make compersion more likely: security in self, security in the relationship, supportive community, and more. The episode also explores how autonomy and trust intersect with boundaries, when “training wheels” help, and how to tell the difference between growth discomfort and self-abandonment.

Jealousy isn’t always about fear of losing your partner. Sometimes it’s about losing yourself. In this episode, April and Scott share a real, recent story from their open-relationship journey that completely reframed what jealousy can mean—and it leads to a breakthrough concept they call “imposed burdens.” After Scott goes on a separate date (with April’s full consent and clear emotional parameters), April is surprised by a familiar “pit in the stomach”… but it isn’t abandonment, comparison, or panic. It’s something quieter and more revealing: envy of the freedom Scott has to play, explore, and dream—because she’s carrying the invisible weight of life logistics, emotional labor, and household admin. The conversation turns into a powerful (and practical) exploration of how “freedom” in a relationship can be technically true while still being impossible to access. They also unpack why the phrase “reclaiming your partner” gives them the ick—and why “reclamation sex” can sometimes smuggle in ownership, control, or reassurance-seeking disguised as intimacy. Instead, they share what reconnection looks like for them (spoiler: it’s more about presence, honesty, and nervous-system safety than performing a ritual). If you’ve ever felt jealous and couldn’t explain why… if you’re doing “the work” but still feel stuck… or if you’ve wondered whether rules are helping you heal or just helping you avoid… this one will hit. Plus: a behind-the-scenes update on their upcoming Wild Love Theory book release, the new Wild Love Book Circle, and their April retreat in the Smoky Mountains.

In this live event recording, sex educator Luna Matatas breaks down why kink can feel so electrifying by exploring the psychology of power, risk, and taboo and how “eroticism” is really the felt sense of being lit up in mind and body. She offers a practical way to translate fantasy into real life by focusing less on props and more on the feelings and “flavors” you want to create, building a clear container of consent, and asking the two questions that change everything: How do I want to feel? How do you want to feel? Then sexologist and coach Ashley Manta introduces Internal Family Systems (IFS) as a powerful tool for relationships and non-monogamy: learning to notice your “parts,” stop speaking from them, and start speaking for them. With vulnerable, funny stories and concrete steps, she shows how to work with jealousy, fear, and insecurity without outsourcing your safety to your partner, and how self-energy (calm, curiosity, compassion, clarity, courage) turns conflict into repair, intimacy, and better sex.

April and Scott recap Be Better at Being Bad 2026 at Hedonism—day by day—covering the themes, the workshops, the connection circles, and the parties that made this year’s week feel like the best yet. From Rave Bingo and fundraising for the Hedo Foundation to the Glow Party, foam party chaos, and the Superheroes & Villains night where “Professor X” somehow became “Doctor Strange,” they share the funny, the sexy, and the surprisingly meaningful moments that built real community. Plus: Wild Love Theory retreat updates, the Toronto X Club Pride weekend announcement, and why “Irish goodbyes” might be the secret to surviving a full takeover week.

This week’s second special episode is Scott’s opening keynote from Be Better At Being Bad 2026 at Hedonism II Resort: The Freedom Mandate: The Ethical Case for Relational Freedom. Scott unpacks Wild Love Theory’s seven-word thesis, “Maximum relational happiness requires maximum relational freedom,” and asks the question that can feel both inspiring and terrifying: If your partner’s happiness matters to you… do you owe them freedom? From there, he draws a crucial line between true boundaries (inward-facing choices for self-protection) and what most couples call “boundaries” but are actually imposed limits designed to manage fear. He explains why rules can be necessary early on, but only as scaffolding: temporary supports meant to loosen as trust, regulation, and repair become load-bearing. The talk ends with a raw, personal story from Scott and April’s relationship: the moment Scott kissed April goodbye as she got ready for a date with no rules, and what that taught him about control, courage, and what it means to build a relational cathedral two free people can actually live inside. Next week we’ll release our full recap of BBBB 2026. If this keynote brings up questions or reflections, email Scott anytime at [email protected].