The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living

When the kids are grown and the house is quieter, the way couples talk to each other starts to matter in new ways. Some patterns get easier. Others get harder to ignore.In this episode of The Loud Quiet, we’re joined by marriage counselor and author Raffi Bilek for a practical, honest conversation about communication, conflict, and what actually helps couples stay connected during the empty nest years. We talk about why avoiding conflict doesn’t equal good communication, why solving the problem too fast often backfires, and how couples can stay on the same team even when they don’t agree.Raffi shares insights from years of counseling couples… including why it’s okay to pause a conversation, why “don’t go to bed angry” isn’t always great advice, and how focusing on impact instead of who’s right can change everything. This conversation is especially relevant for couples navigating adult kids, retirement, aging parents, and spending more time together than ever before.Guest links:The Couples Communication Handbook (Amazon affiliate link)https://amzn.to/48QJJpsThe Couples Communication book websitehttps://www.thecommunicationbook.com/Baltimore Therapy Centerhttps://www.baltimoretherapycenter.com/CHAPTERS0:00 Intro and a quick health PSA1:20 Meet Raffi Bilek3:10 Reconnecting after years of focusing on kids4:50 When adult kids still cause conflict7:10 Explore first, solve later9:55 Is conflict actually bad for a marriage?12:10 Feeling uncomfortable expressing anger14:05 Generational shifts in communication16:30 Why “don’t go to bed angry” doesn’t always help19:00 When agreement isn’t possible20:45 Focusing on impact instead of facts23:05 Common conflict topics couples face25:10 Retirement and being together 24/728:00 One communication skill that matters most29:30 Where to find Raffi and his work📘 Coming soon in early 2026… The Loud Quiet bookBe the first to get sneak peeks, preorder bonuses, and launch-day news.Pre-orders open soon… join the list for early access:https://www.theloudquiet.com/p/book/👋 Join the conversation in our Facebook group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet📬 Get new episodes and weekly notes in your inbox:https://theloudquiet.kit.com/signupWant to be a guest on The Loud Quiet – Empty Nest Living?Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethostDisclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Holiday food has a way of anchoring a season. We make certain things every year without even thinking about it… and the kids now expect them just as much as we do. In this episode we talk through the foods we grew up with, the ones that stuck, and the ones we only remember when someone says “remember when…?”Quick note… The Loud Quiet book is almost ready. If you want early updates and preorder info, here’s the list: https://www.theloudquiet.com/p/book/Candy canes, Texas trash, haystacks, spiced tea… all the things our parents made without any ceremony. At one point we realize our kids have their own list now too… the pickle platter, the dips, the reindeer mix.We also talk through the foods we haven’t made in years. Chicken spaghetti, tetrazzini, pistachio salad, all the old casseroles that faded out once the house emptied. Lasagna comes up. So do meatballs.It’s a simple conversation about how certain foods end up tied to people and seasons whether we planned it or not.CHAPTERS0:00 Intro1:20 Holiday foods we grew up with4:45 The smells and small traditions that defined the season7:10 The treats our parents made every year12:25 Christmas Eve Mexican food13:50 The foods our kids now count on15:20 How reindeer mix became a tradition18:00 The dishes that have to be on the holiday table20:55 The nostalgic meals we rarely make anymore28:45 Why certain foods stay connected to certain people29:30 Wrap up👋 Share your holiday food memories or join the conversation in our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet📬 Want more like this? Get new episodes and extras in your inbox: https://theloudquiet.kit.com/signup🎧 Find all episodes, listening platforms, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.comWant to be a guest on The Loud Quiet – Empty Nest Living?Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethostDisclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Sometimes saying yes takes you somewhere you never expected… like an EDM show on a Sunday night, surrounded by people half your age and a bass that makes your clothes vibrate. In this episode, Rick and Clancy share what happened when Tanner finally talked them into a Chris Lake show… and why it ended up feeling surprisingly joyful, safe, and honestly pretty fun.And then the week flipped right into Thanksgiving. They talk about having both kids home, the comfort of familiar rhythms, and the strange, tender uncertainty of what future holidays might look like.Big announcement:Our first book “The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter, and Life in the Empty Nest” is coming in early 2026. Newsletter subscribers will get early info, behind-the-scenes notes, and special offers.👉 Join the newsletter here: https://theloudquiet.kit.com/signupCHAPTERS0:00 Big announcement + intro1:15 Saying yes to something wild2:50 Why Sunday made the night doable4:30 Full-circle moments with old friends6:00 The bass that shook our clothes7:40 The surprisingly friendly rave crowd9:25 Realizing we were the “older people”12:55 Sliding into Thanksgiving mode15:20 The holiday that just felt right17:55 What future holidays might look like👋 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet📬 Get early book news + special offers: https://theloudquiet.kit.com/signup🎧 All episodes and links: https://www.theloudquiet.comWant to be a guest on The Loud Quiet – Empty Nest Living?Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethostDisclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).#relationships #marriage #recreation #podcast #EmptyNesters #EmptyNesting #Lifeafterkidsleave #Transitiontoanemptynest #Parentingjourney #Reinventingourselves #Newchapterinlife #Emptynestchallenges #Findingpurpose #Rediscoveringhobbies #Relationshipafterkids #Self-discovery #Preparingforanemptynest #Reconnectingasacouple #Growingtogetherafterkidsleave #Familydynamicsafterkidsleave #Supportsystemsforemptynesters #Tipsforsuccessfulemptynesting

Some Thanksgivings are predictable… this one definitely wasn’t. For this Greatest Hits episode, we’re flashing back to our 2023 Thanksgiving trip to Arizona, a holiday full of hiking, travel hiccups, questionable turkey, and a whole lot of Phase 10 and football. It originally aired as Episode 16 and it still makes us laugh.Since this episode is coming out on Thanksgiving, we want to say how thankful we are for you. Truly. There is no Loud Quiet without the people who listen, message us, and show up every week. We feel that deeply.This episode is sponsored by Damon Vinci of Magical Memory Planners. If you’re already tired of the cold or you want a gift that doesn’t involve fighting for a parking spot at a store, Damon can help you get somewhere warm, calm, and fun.Mention The Loud Quiet and get $25 to spend at your destination when you book a travel package✔️ Call or text: 972-987-0527✔️ Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠✔️ Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/DamonVinciMMP⁠CHAPTERS0:00 Intro1:12 Flying into Arizona for Thanksgiving3:40 Costco pies and the turkey trouble6:05 Hiking Saguaro National Park8:52 Grocery store chaos that somehow wasn’t chaotic10:27 Why experiences matter more than stuff11:36 Damon’s Black Friday travel deals13:32 Thanksgiving dinner at the Airbnb16:40 Phase 10 and a very competitive family18:55 Black Friday at Goldfield Ghost Town22:15 Rivalry football game with the kids25:26 Sunday goodbyes and quiet moments28:16 Wrapping up the trip👋 Join the conversation in our Facebook community: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet⁠📬 Get weekly stories and extras in your inbox: ⁠https://theloudquiet.kit.com/signup⁠🎧 Find all episodes and listening platforms: ⁠https://www.theloudquiet.com⁠Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet… Empty Nest Living?Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:⁠https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost⁠Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Using business ideas for a personal relationship. It sounds unusual at first, but Dr. Robin Buckley makes it feel surprisingly natural. She talks about relationships in a way that feels clear and doable without losing the heart of it. She takes ideas most of us only ever use in business and shows how they can actually make home life easier… especially when you’re in the empty nest stage and trying to stay connected as a couple.She walks through mission statements, roles, and check-ins in a way that never feels rigid. It just feels practical.A lot of empty nesters are dealing with boomerang kids right now. Dr. Robin talks honestly about how a little structure can keep everyone from slipping back into old patterns… and how clear expectations can make that season feel healthier for both parents and adult children. It’s a simple approach that brings more calm into the house during a time that can get overwhelming fast.If you like what she has to say, her book lays out that exact framework in a really simple way:Marriage Inc: The Boardroom Blueprint to a Lasting Love (affiliate link)https://amzn.to/3M1c4S8Find Dr. Robin Buckley:Instagram and TikTok: drrobinbuckleyLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-robin-buckley/Coaching website: https://drrobinbuckley.com/CHATPERS 0:00 Intro1:17 Why love needs more than hope4:32 Mission statements for relationships7:45 Can structure protect romance9:58 Coaching vs therapy12:40 Helping adult kids without overstepping14:48 The boomerang child conversation17:25 Keeping your marriage intact with grown kids at home19:43 Launching kids after a boomerang season21:46 How Dr. Robin’s kids reacted to structure25:49 Why she wrote Marriage Inc27:42 Where to find Dr. Robin👋 Join the community conversation:https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet📬 Get weekly stories and extras from Rick and Clancy:https://theloudquiet.kit.com/signupWant to be a guest on The Loud Quiet. Empty Nest Living?Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethostDisclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).