Sisters In Sobriety

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia takes on something she has circled for years: the 12 steps. After years of attending meetings here and there, interviewing addiction experts, and seeing the way the steps have changed people’s lives, she is finally stepping in. Joined by recovery coach, One Day at a Time podcast host, and The 12 Steps for Skeptics author Arlina Allen, Sonia explores Step Two through the lens of skepticism, spirituality, language, and lived recovery. The conversation opens with Sonia’s honest reaction to Step Two: “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Together, Sonia and Arlina unpack why words like sanity, insanity, God, and character defects can feel outdated or loaded, especially for people who understand addiction through trauma, mental health, coping mechanisms, and neuroscience. They also explore how to “take what you like and leave the rest,” why looking for similarities matters, and how a higher power can be understood in a way that feels personal, flexible, and grounded. Arlina helps reframe Step Two as less about dogma and more about willingness, support, outside perspective, and access to something beyond one’s own fear-based thinking. The episode touches on spirituality versus religion, the pause between impulse and reaction, emotional triggers, “first thought wrong,” and why the hard choice is often the right one. Sonia and Arlina also talk about synchronicity, awe, honesty, music, emotional avoidance, and how sobriety can make room for deeper joy, grief, intuition, and connection. In the personal story segment, Sonia shares how she is beginning to recognize her higher power in real life: in moments of synchronicity, in sober awe, and in choosing honesty. Arlina offers a beautiful reflection on how witnessing someone else heal can soften and heal something inside us, too. The conversation becomes both practical and deeply human—a bridge for anyone who has wanted the wisdom of the steps, but needed a way in that actually feels possible. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. [00:00:00] Sonia introduces the episode and shares why doing the 12 steps feels like a big deal. [00:02:00] Arlina Allen joins Sonia to begin exploring Step Two. [00:03:00] Sonia explains why the word “sanity” immediately brings up resistance. [00:05:00] Arlina reframes insanity as repeating the same pattern and expecting a different result. [00:06:00] Arlina explains Step Two as the beginning of needing help and outside perspective. [00:08:00] Sonia and Arlina discuss trauma, coping mechanisms, guilt, shame, and neuroscience. [00:10:00] Arlina talks about looking for similarities instead of differences in recovery literature. [00:12:00] Sonia shares the “Fred drinking whiskey in milk” moment that took her out of the Big Book. [00:14:00] Sonia explains how the 12 and 12 and Arlina’s homework softened her resistance. [00:16:00] Sonia describes her current concept of spirituality and a higher power. [00:18:00] Sonia reflects on reliance versus defiance and asking for guidance instead of control. [00:20:00] Arlina explains why surrender is not abdicating responsibility. [00:21:00] Sonia and Arlina explore the difference between impulse, instinct, and inner guidance. [00:23:00] Arlina discusses triggers, condescension, and the power of pausing before reacting. [00:30:00] Sonia shares the qualities she wants in a higher power. [00:32:00] Arlina tells a powerful story about synchronicity, grief, and a sobriety date. [00:40:00] Sonia describes sober awe, inspiration, and the return of her inner life. [00:43:00] Sonia connects higher power to the pause between impulse and reaction. [00:49:00] Sonia shares an emotional story about grief, love, and witnessing healing. [00:54:00] Arlina explains why avoiding pain also blocks joy, awe, and wonder

In this deeply personal first episode of a new Sisters in Sobriety series, Sonia begins something she has circled for years: working the 12 steps. Joined by Arlina Allen, recovery coach, host of the One Day at a Time podcast, and author of The 12 Steps for Skeptics, Sonia explores why she has always respected AA while still feeling hesitant to fully commit. Together, Sonia and Arlina open the door to Step One with honesty, curiosity, humor, and a modern lens for anyone who has ever wondered whether the steps could work for them. The conversation explores what it means to admit powerlessness over alcohol without collapsing into shame, why “unmanageable” does not always look like losing everything, and how women with high-functioning lives can still hit an emotional bottom. Sonia and Arlina talk about raising the bottom, separating the 12-step program from meeting culture, finding the right sponsor or guide, and why old recovery language can sometimes create resistance before people even get to the deeper wisdom underneath it. This episode breaks down Step One in a practical, accessible way: defining powerlessness and unmanageability, identifying patterns around moderation, understanding denial, and recognizing the difference between being sober and being emotionally sober. Arlina also explains why the steps are not just about quitting alcohol, but about self-honesty, accountability, nervous system regulation, recovery habits, and learning to meet the parts of ourselves we would rather avoid. Sonia also shares her own story of having what looked from the outside like a “silk sheet bottom”: a stable marriage, career success, financial security, and no dramatic external consequences. But inside, she was emotionally exhausted, self-loathing, and unable to keep the daily promise not to drink. Through Step One, she begins to see how alcohol had made her life unmanageable in quieter but powerful ways—and why this series may be less about joining a program perfectly and more about finally stepping inside the work. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Time-Stamped Highlights 00:00 Sonia introduces the new series and why she is finally choosing to work the 12 steps. 02:00 Arlina explains how she will guide Sonia through the steps using The 12 Steps for Skeptics. 03:00 Sonia shares why she has always “danced around” AA without fully committing. 04:00 The moment Sonia realized she could separate the 12-step program from meeting culture. 05:00 Arlina explains why the steps are an experience, not just words on a page. 07:00 Sonia opens up about the awkwardness of seeking a sponsor after years of sobriety. 08:00 Arlina explains why Sonia’s approach will be modified because she already has long-term sobriety. 09:00 Sonia reflects on being surprised by how much Step One had to offer. 10:00 The concept of “raising the bottom” helps Sonia reframe what recovery can look like. 11:00 Sonia describes having an emotional bottom even though her outside life looked stable. 12:00 Sonia shares how her brother’s AA experience planted the first seed that alcohol might be a problem. 14:00 Arlina clarifies that Step One means powerless over alcohol, not powerless over everything. 16:00 Sonia revisits Bill’s story with a more open mind than she had in the past. 18:00 Arlina introduces HOW: honest, open-minded, and willing. 21:00 Sonia and Arlina discuss finding similarities instead of differences in recovery stories. 23:00 Sonia defines powerlessness and unmanageability in her Step One homework. 24:00 Sonia shares the daily cycle of promising not to drink and drinking anyway. 26:00 Sonia connects deeply with the idea that when she enjoyed drinking, she could not control it. 28:00 Sonia questions whether rehashing old drinking stories is always helpful. 32:00 Arlina explains the difference between sobriety and recovery.

In this episode, Sonia sits down with Richard Taite to talk about addiction, trauma, treatment, emotional sobriety, self-love, and what it really takes to build a life that feels worth staying present for. They explore Richard’s decades of experience as an addiction treatment entrepreneur, recovery advocate, founder of Cliffside Malibu and Carrera Treatment, and host of the mental health podcast We’re Out of Time. Richard also opens up about his own history with addiction, childhood trauma, homelessness, long-term recovery, and his controversial view that some people can transcend addiction after doing deep, sustained work. The conversation moves through some big questions: Is addiction always a lifelong identity? What does it mean to truly recover versus simply stop using? How does childhood trauma become the emotional engine behind substance use disorder? Sonia and Richard also discuss AA, therapy, treatment centers, the fentanyl crisis, emotional sobriety, reparenting, and why “getting sober” is only one part of the work. Richard challenges familiar recovery language while still crediting AA as a foundation in his own life, making space for a more nuanced conversation about addiction recovery, identity, and healing. Richard explains why therapy has been central to his recovery, how shame forms in childhood, and why so many people carry a “bad kid” narrative into adulthood. He shares his belief that self-care can become self-esteem, and self-esteem can become self-love—especially when recovery expands beyond abstinence into purpose, parenting, relationships, physical health, and joy. The episode also looks at what effective addiction treatment should include today, why therapeutic fit matters, and how families may need to think differently about drugs, alcohol, opioids, and fentanyl in the current recovery landscape. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.   Highlights [00:01:00] Richard corrects the record about his sobriety and explains why he no longer identifies as sober. [00:02:00] Richard describes what he means by “transcending addiction.” [00:03:00] He shares the Michelin-star wine-pairing moment that showed him his relationship with alcohol had changed. [00:04:00] Sonia asks whether his shift happened suddenly or slowly over time. [00:05:00] Richard explains why thriving matters after getting sober. [00:07:00] Sonia asks how his current relationship with alcohol differs from active addiction. [00:08:00] Richard opens up about becoming a father and losing the fantasy of eventually getting loaded again. [00:10:00] Sonia asks whether fatherhood pushed him into deeper emotional sobriety work. [00:11:00] Richard talks about being in therapy for much of his recovery. [00:12:00] Richard shares the therapy moment that helped him understand he was never “a bad kid.” [00:14:00] He explains how childhood shame can keep running the adult life. [00:16:00] Sonia and Richard discuss childhood trauma as a root driver of addiction. [00:18:00] Richard challenges the idea that one first drink automatically explains addiction. [00:19:00] He talks about AA as a foundation while also questioning rigid recovery identities. [00:21:00] Richard explains why he sees AA as support, not treatment. [00:23:00] He connects self-care, self-esteem, and self-love. [00:27:00] Richard explains why treatment should feel like care, not punishment. [00:32:00] Sonia asks how fentanyl changed the addiction treatment landscape. [00:34:00] Richard shares the overdose death that brought him back into treatment work. [00:40:00] Richard describes how he talks to his son about pills, powders, fentanyl, and peer pressure. [00:45:00] Sonia asks what families should look for in a recovery center today. [00:50:00] Richard closes with a message of hope for anyone afraid to ask for help.   Richard's Links https://www.instagram.com

Creativity isn’t just a hobby—it can be a sobriety tool, a self-care practice, and a way back to the parts of ourselves we forgot. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen explore how play, journaling, memory keeping, and hands-on creativity can help women rebuild identity and joy after alcohol. Sonia is joined by Amy Tangerine, a designer, author, creative director, memory keeper, and founder of a colorful creative brand that has inspired hundreds of thousands of people to reconnect with imagination, craft, and permission to play. The conversation opens up the question of what happens when drinking used to be the “play hard” part of life—and what it means to redefine fun in sobriety. Sonia and Amy talk about childhood creativity, cozy hobbies, scrapbooking, junk journaling, reading, Legos, collecting, and why many adults dismiss the very activities that once made them feel alive. They also explore how high-achieving women can struggle to do something without measuring it, monetizing it, or turning it into another task. Amy shares how creative flow can become a grounding practice, especially for people who feel anxious, overworked, disconnected, or unsure of who they are without alcohol. The episode covers memory keeping, analog journaling, vision boards, tactile creativity, pen-to-paper reflection, creative self-care, inner child work, and the difference between creating for an outcome versus creating for the process. Amy also talks about “taking your rage out on the page,” using journaling to process emotions, and building small systems that make creativity possible in 10- to 15-minute pockets. In the personal story segment, Amy opens up about being raised by immigrant parents, her early love of stickers, crayons, journals, and magazines, her transition from fashion into scrapbooking, and the burnout that pushed her to rethink success. She also shares the deeply personal role vision boards played during her miscarriages, how creativity helped her imagine and accept a different version of family, and how manifesting, aligned action, and self-belief shaped her life. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.   Highlights 00:00 Welcome to Sisters in Sobriety with Amy Tangerine01:00 Amy’s earliest creative sparks: crayons, stickers, journals, and crafts02:00 From fashion design to scrapbooking and memory keeping03:00 The Hello Kitty journal that started Amy’s diary practice04:00 Why Amy blended memoir and guidance in Craft a Life You Love05:00 Why hobbies matter more than people think06:00 Taking 15 minutes for creativity without explaining it to anyone07:00 Amy’s immigrant parents and the freedom to follow what made her happy09:00 Creativity as a way to design a more intentional life10:00 Creative flow, harmony, and coming back to yourself11:00 Collage as comfort during family stress and grief13:00 Redefining play when drinking used to be the recreational hobby14:00 Returning to the activities that brought joy in childhood15:00 Sonia on rediscovering reading in sobriety16:00 Legos, collecting, and childhood hobbies as adult comfort18:00 Junk journaling and the return to analog creativity20:00 What happens emotionally when people enter a playful state21:00 Giving yourself permission to create in small pockets of time23:00 Letting go of metrics, productivity, and the pressure of an end product25:00 Pen-to-paper journaling versus digital memory keeping27:00 Balancing AI tools, metrics, and the need for handwriting30:00 What memory keeping really means31:00 “Take your rage out on the page” as emotional release34:00 Pickleball, anger, and accessing different parts of the self35:00 Simple ways to incorporate photos, planners, and everyday memories37:00 Why memory keeping does not have to be chronological39:00 Vision boards, self-belief, and “what I desire is what I deserve”4

Sonia sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Hochman for a candid, nuanced conversation on addiction, recovery, and what actually works in the real world in this episode of Sisters in Sobriety. Daniel Hochman, is a board-certified psychiatrist and creator of Self Recovery, an online program helping people address substance and behavioral addictions through a science-based, psychologically informed approach that prioritizes privacy, agency, and emotional understanding. The conversation explores the limits of traditional recovery models, including where 12-step programs can feel outdated or incomplete, and why concepts like “powerlessness” may actually undermine long-term change. Sonia and Dr. Hochman dig into questions around agency vs. external control, whether addiction is a disease or learned behavior, and how approaches like urge surfing, emotional regulation, and behavioral strategies fit into recovery. They also examine the role of medication like Antabuse and naltrexone, the rise of alternative recovery models, and how high-achieving individuals experience addiction differently. Dr. Hochman reframes addiction as a response to “intolerable emotions,” highlighting how anxiety, dissatisfaction, and internal conflict can quietly drive addictive behaviors. He introduces a practical framework—moving from underlying distress to cravings to action—and explains how different “points of attack” can interrupt that cycle.  As the conversation unfolds, Sonia shares her own experience navigating sobriety outside of traditional systems, including her curiosity about the 12 steps and her journey into emotional sobriety. The episode shifts into a more personal exploration of identity—especially for high achievers whose self-worth is tied to performance—and what it looks like to rebuild a sense of self without alcohol. Through this lens, recovery becomes less about restriction and more about rediscovery, experimentation, and learning how to sit with discomfort rather than escape it. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:00] Introduction to Dr. Daniel Hochman and Self Recovery[01:00] Why willpower isn’t enough in addiction recovery[02:00] What a psychiatrist actually does in addiction treatment[03:00] Early exposure to rehab systems and gaps in care[04:00] Problems within the addiction treatment industry[05:00] The role of untrained providers in recovery spaces[06:00] Sonia’s experience exploring the 12 steps[07:00] “Powerlessness” and the problem with vague frameworks[09:00] Locus of control and reclaiming agency in recovery[12:00] Why vague advice like “try harder” doesn’t work[14:00] What traditional recovery models get right—and wrong[16:00] Why addiction science hasn’t been fully integrated into AA[18:00] Addiction as a response to underlying emotional distress[20:00] Trauma, boredom, dissatisfaction, and hidden drivers[22:00] The “current” model: from pain to craving to action[24:00] Urge surfing and behavioral tools for early sobriety[26:00] Why deep emotional work shouldn’t come first[28:00] Limitations of CBT and surface-level therapy[30:00] Inside the Self Recovery program framework[33:00] Sobriety vs. moderation: choosing your own path[36:00] Medications in recovery: Antabuse vs. naltrexone[41:00] High achievers, identity, and addiction patterns[45:00] Rebuilding a sense of self beyond achievement[49:00] Rediscovering hobbies, curiosity, and joy in sobriety[51:00] One simple awareness practice to start changing behavior Dr. Hochman's Links Self Recovery's Website: https://www.selfrecovery.org/ Self Recovery's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfrecoveryhealth/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any product