In today’s session you will meet Karen who has three kids, 10 year old Kate, 8 year old Vivian, and 5 year old Owen and asks Leslie the question of how to get her kids off technology. . Answering that question, means assessing what’s going on and then tailoring the strategies to each individual child.  This session also focuses on helping parents feel comfortable with their own authority while maintaining mutual respect with your child.and how not to personalize your child’s big emotions.Time Stamps4:10 The unstructured nature of summer and its challenges5:00 The dialectic perspective of the strong-willed children8:15 Reasons how you diminish your authority as a parentWait till the father steps inFeeling like your children push your buttonsGiving children too many choicesMom doesn’t mean what she says 12:45 Create individual strategies for dealing with technology for your individual kids14:35 Don’t give into the “fairness game”Validate and move on rather than dismiss and move on16:35 Family meeting where everyone has a chance to be heard17:25 Teaching children to manage “Technology Time”18:25 Fair is not the same as equal18:45 The definition of a “bad” parent -When parents personalize their child’s anger 21:19 Change your perspective and your interpretationsMy son is having strong emotionsMy son is getting to know his angerMy son is feeling disappointment24:47 Parents can unintentionally reinforce a child’s emotional reactivity25:55 Cope Ahead Skill - Help a child learn what they can do differently next time instead of shaming them28:35 How to establish personal power and agency for your children that is effective 30:21 Working on developing mutual respect 33:18 Observe and describe your child’s behavior nonjudgmentally34:33 Explaining fairness, equanimity and sameness with a metaphor38:05 Create structure in the day to help children manage technology time 41:44 Understanding what it means to be comfortable with authorityLeslie-ism: Say what you mean and mean what you sayResources:  Horton Hatches An Egg by Dr Seuss read aloud on videoFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O’Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury.  A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.