Send us Fan MailSome of the most dangerous myths about suicide sound polite on the surface: “They were selfish,” “They did it for attention,” “If you talk about it, you’ll make it worse.” We push back on all of that with a conversation that stays human, specific, and real.We’re joined by Kirsten O’Connor, an author from New Zealand and the mother of Kahlia, who died at 24. Kirsten helps us remember the full person behind the loss: a bright, musical, loyal young woman with a psychology background, close friendships, and a huge heart for others. We also talk about the part people miss, how someone can “present well” while living with depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicidal ideation, and how that invisibility can become a barrier to getting help.Kirsten shares the layered realities that often sit underneath suicidality: coercive control and emotional abuse, financial abuse that traps families, the isolating impact of COVID lockdowns, and the devastating ripple effects of sexual assault trauma. We get practical about support, too: safety, medication side effects, therapy access, and why creative approaches like art therapy can help an overthinking mind find a new outlet. We also spend time on what to say when you’re scared of saying the wrong thing. Asking “Are you feeling suicidal?” does not plant an idea, it can open a door. If you or someone you love is struggling, help is available. If you enjoyed this conversation, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find it.Kirsten is the author of the book "The Year After Kahlia." It can be ordered through this link :https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-year-after-kahlia-kirsten-oconnor/1148894926?ean=9780473764609Kristen also is the founder of This is Grief. More information can be found at https://thisisgrief.nz Support the show