From Foster to Forever

Today, we’re unpacking the fascinating world of birth order and its impact on family dynamics, especially when it comes to fostering and adoption. We've got Dr. Robert Hurst, a total whiz on this topic, joining us to dish out insights from his book, "Life's Fingerprint." It’s not just about knowing who's the oldest or youngest; it's all about how those positions shape our personalities and relationships within blended families. We’ll explore why adopting a younger child can help keep the peace and how every little shift in birth order can stir up all kinds of feelings and adjustments. So, if you’re curious about creating harmony in your family or just want to understand your own quirks, stick around—this chat is packed with gems!In this thought-provoking episode, Rachel Fulgenetti sits down with Dr. Robert Hurst to explore the intricate world of birth order and its significant impact on family life and dynamics. The conversation kicks off with Rachel reflecting on her motivations for fostering and adopting children, which leads to a rich discussion about how each child’s birth order can shape their personality traits and their relationships with siblings. Dr. Hurst's insights, drawn from his book 'Life’s Fingerprint,' provide a fascinating backdrop as he explains how being the oldest, middle, or youngest child can influence behaviors and expectations within the family. The episode takes a compelling turn as they delve into the critical considerations for families looking to adopt, particularly around maintaining birth order to ensure a smoother transition for all children involved. Dr. Hurst highlights the delicate balance required when blending families, especially when introducing a new child into an existing family structure. The conversation is sprinkled with humor and personal anecdotes, making the complexities of birth order feel relatable and understandable. Listeners will find themselves not only entertained but also equipped with valuable knowledge about family dynamics. This episode is perfect for parents, caregivers, or anyone interested in the psychological aspects of family life. It’s a delightful mix of education and entertainment that challenges us to consider how our family roles shape our identities and relationships. So, if you’re ready to rethink your own family dynamics, tune in for some enlightening insights and a few laughs along the way!Takeaways:In blended families, understanding birth order is crucial for smooth transitions and relationships.When adopting, it's best to maintain the birth order to prevent potential conflicts between siblings.Double birth orders can create unique personality traits that impact a child's behavior in a household.Children from foster care may have complex birth order histories that affect their adjustments in new homes.Links referenced in this episode:mybirthorder.comfromfoster2forever.com

Why do so many children—especially those in foster care or adoption—struggle with food, weight, and self-regulation?In this episode of From Foster to Forever, Rachel sits down with Kami Moussavi, founder of Step Together, to uncover the real root causes behind childhood eating issues, ADHD, and addictive behaviors.This conversation goes far beyond diet and discipline. Together, they explore how trauma, emotional suppression, and dopamine shape a child’s relationship with food, screens, and self-worth.Rachel also shares her own powerful story of childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and disordered eating—making this one of the most personal episodes yet.💡 What You’ll LearnWhy food issues in kids are often symptoms—not the root problemHow trauma, grief, and emotional suppression show up as eating behaviorsThe connection between ADHD, dopamine, and addiction (food, screens, etc.)Why foster and adopted children may be especially vulnerableThe surprising truth: it’s not about fixing the child—it’s about supporting the parentHow to recognize when a child’s behavior has crossed into addictionWhy removing “problem foods” too quickly can backfireThe 5 healthy sources of dopamine every child needsSimple, practical ways to shift your home environment to support healthier habits🔑 In This EpisodeThe link between foster care, trauma, and food addictionHow ADHD and dopamine drive eating and screen habitsWhy traditional weight loss advice doesn’t work for kidsThe role of emotional suppression in childhood behaviorWhat parents can do to support lasting change❤️ Key Takeaways“The root cause is often emotional pain—not lack of willpower.”Children use food, screens, and other behaviors to cope with feelings they don’t know how to processParents don’t need to be perfect—but they do need to become safe emotional spacesLasting change happens when families address environment, emotions, and connection—not just behaviorLinks referenced in this episode:stepstogether.usfromfoster2forever.comFromFoster2foreverpodcastscreenzen.co

Thinking about foster care or adoption—but unsure how to prepare financially? Dealing with challenging finances already?In this episode of From Foster to Forever, I sit down with financial coach Dylan Snowden to talk about one of the most overlooked (and often overwhelming) parts of the journey: money.We get real about the hidden costs of growing a family, how to plan for the unknown, and why understanding your finances before a child enters your home can make all the difference.Whether you're just starting to consider foster care or you're already parenting, this conversation will help you feel more grounded, prepared, and empowered.💡 What You’ll LearnHow to estimate the true cost of raising a child—even when so much is unknownWhy you should understand your current expenses before fosteringThe reality of foster care stipends (and why they don’t go as far as people think)A simple way to plan for unexpected costs (hint: add a buffer!)How to figure out what your life actually costs each monthThe difference between “serious” expenses vs. “fun” spending—and why you need bothHow to reduce impulse spending (Amazon! Target! Oh my!)What a 529 plan is and whether it’s still worth itWhy your retirement matters more than your child’s college fundHow couples can navigate money differences without fightingA realistic approach to paying off debt and still living your life🔑 Key TakeawayYou don’t need to have everything figured out—but you do need to start with awareness.Understanding your current financial picture is the foundation for making confident, grounded decisions about growing your family.❤️ A Note from MeThis conversation felt especially meaningful because Dylan actually helped me and Joe get a handle on our finances during a major life transition. I can personally say—this work matters.If money has ever felt confusing, stressful, or overwhelming, you are not alone. And you don’t have to figure it out on your own.🔗 Resources & LinksConnect with Dylan Snowden: dylanteachesfinance.comJoin Dylan’s “Finally Done Admin Hour” (free!)Follow the podcast: @foster2foreverpodcastVisit: fromfostertoforever.com🎧 Share This EpisodeIf this episode helped you feel more prepared or less alone, share it with a friend who’s considering foster care or adoption. These are the conversations we need to be having.⭐ Enjoying the Podcast?Please rate, review, and follow the show—it helps more families find these stories and resources.

She was fostering two toddlers and still waiting to adopt — so she decided to have a baby on her own...When Maryanne Grant first came on the show, she was in the middle of a long, uncertain foster-to-adopt journey with two young siblings. Now she’s back with a life update — and so much has changed.In this episode, Maryanne shares what it’s really like to wait years for adoption finalization, how the appeals process can delay permanency, and how she made the decision to become a single mom by choice while still fostering. She opens up about fertility treatments, choosing a sperm donor, raising three children on her own, and the emotional difference between fostering and having a biological child — and why love is still love no matter how a child comes into your life.This is an honest, hopeful, and deeply real conversation about modern motherhood, foster care, and building a family in unexpected ways.In This Episode, We Talk About:The reality of waiting years for foster adoption finalizationHow ICWA cases can impact foster-to-adopt timelinesThe emotional toll of inconsistent bio parent visitsTermination of parental rights (TPR) and the appeals processBecoming a single mom by choiceIUI, donor sperm, and choosing a donorRaising three kids under three as a single momThe difference between bonding through birth vs. foster careOpen conversations with kids about their story and familySibling relationships in foster careKnowing your limits as a foster parentBuilding a “village” and foster care communityMemorable Quotes From This Episode:“Love is love. I don’t differentiate on love — but the process is very different.”“I wanted this child so badly that I was willing to make it happen however I could.”“Kids deserve someone who 100% chooses them.”“Our family just has a mommy — and that’s okay.”“Adoption will change everything and nothing at the same time.”Resources Mentioned:Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA)Single Mom by Choice communitySeattle Sperm Bank (donor process discussion)Foster care adoption & appeals processConnect with Us:Website: fromfoster2forever.comInstagram: @foster2foreverpodcastIf this episode touched you, please share it with someone who cares about foster care, adoption, or building a family in a nontraditional way.

In this powerful and deeply insightful episode of From Foster to Forever, I sit down with child therapist and author Stacy Schaffer to explore what foster and adoptive parents really need to understand about childhood trauma, attachment, and healing.Stacy specializes in play therapy, a transformative approach that helps children express emotions they don’t yet have the words for. Through tools like sand tray therapy, somatic release, and creative expression, she offers a window into how children process grief, loss, and complex family dynamics.Together, we dive into the realities that many foster and adoptive families face—but don’t always talk about openly.This conversation is both validating and eye-opening, offering practical tools and emotional reassurance for parents navigating the beautiful and challenging journey of raising children from hard places.💡 In This Episode, We Discuss:What play therapy is and why it works for childrenHow kids communicate trauma through play, not wordsWhy building trust slowly is essential in therapyThe truth about confidentiality between therapist, child, and parentHow to find the right therapist (especially with Medicaid barriers)What generational trauma is—and how to begin healing itWhy it’s critical to honor a child’s grief, even in a loving homeHow to support kids through birth family visits and emotional dysregulationThe role of somatic (body-based) healing—including physical release toolsWhy foster and adoptive parents must prioritize their own support❤️ A Powerful Reminder for ParentsStacy shares a truth many parents need to hear:“It’s amazing and beautiful—and also exhausting. You can feel both.”Supporting your child starts with supporting yourself.📘 About Stacy SchaefferStacy Schaeffer is a child therapist specializing in grief and trauma, as well as the author of“With Love from a Children’s Therapist.”Her work blends clinical expertise with lived experience, offering both guidance and compassion to families navigating complex emotional landscapes.🌐 Website: https://stacyschaeffer.com📱 Instagram: @hope_restored🌱 About This PodcastFrom Foster to Forever shares honest, hopeful stories of families formed through foster care and adoption—highlighting resilience, healing, and the beauty of nontraditional paths to parenthood.🎧 New episodes weekly🌐 Visit: https://fromfoster2forever.com📱 Instagram: @foster2foreverpodcast🔖 If This Episode Spoke to You…Please follow, rate, and share with someone who needs encouragement on their foster or adoptive parenting journey.Mentioned in this episode:10% OFF FOSTERING FAMILIES TODAY MAGFostering Families Today is a bi-monthly magazine distributed to foster, kinship and adoptive families across the country offering resources, expert opinions, practical advice and information on the latest evidence-based best practices for supporting children and youth who come from traumatic backgrounds. Use coupon code foster10 to receive 10% off your annual subscription at fosteringfamiliestoday dot com. That's fosteringfamiliestoday dot com. FFT