Settling Is Bullshit

<p>Unmet expectations are probably the leading cause of resentment in our lives – especially around the holidays! Just sayin’. But! Recognizing that we had (potentially unrealistic) expectations in the first place is a great step towards greater joy and freedom and being nice to each other.</p><p>This little episode is a pep talk around recognizing our expectations, letting go of the unrealistic ones, giving ourselves permission to recalibrate, encouragement to talk openly about our needs, and to take care of ourselves so we can show up well in our lives.</p><p>You know, the usual.</p><p>It’s also an update on what’s going on behind the scenes over here – and an expectation reset! Since I had unreasonably high hopes for myself during my first term back in school.</p><p>Sending love and fortitude as we enter the dark but merry time of year.</p><p>Read the transcript at: <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/11/03/unmet-expectations-are-the-theif-of-joy/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/11/03/unmet-expectations-are-the-theif-of-joy/</a></p><p><strong>Resources, References, and Links</strong></p><p>Episode #2: “Comparison Is the Thief of Joy.”</p><p>Episodes #20 &amp; #21: “Befriending Your Nervous System with Marjorie Schreurs.” <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2024/10/10/befriending-your-nervous-system-1-activation/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2024/10/10/befriending-your-nervous-system-1-activation/</a></p><p>Episode #25: “Bringing Boundaries and Self-Compassion to the Holidays with Jenny Tryansky.” <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2024/11/21/bringing-boundaries-and-self-compassion-to-the-holidays-with-jenny-tryansky/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2024/11/21/bringing-boundaries-and-self-compassion-to-the-holidays-with-jenny-tryansky/</a></p>

<p>Creativity isn’t just for artists. It’s a way of engaging with the world that we all have access to, and which offers a playful and engaging pathway toward healing. It’s also a thing that we do with our bodies! That makes it an extra-helpful way to get out of our heads and move through whatever feelings we need to process.</p><p>In this conversation with somatic therapist Amanda Melbostad, we explore the magic of accessing our creativity and finding safety in our bodies. We also talk about how to find the right therapist, how to open ourselves up to creative practices, and how freeing it can be to invite our inner critic to take a back seat.</p><p>Read the transcript at: <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/10/01/creativity-movement-toward-healing-amanda-melbostad/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/10/01/creativity-movement-toward-healing-amanda-melbostad/</a></p><p>Support the podcast on Patreon @SettlingIsBullshit <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.patreon.com/SettlingIsBullshit">https://www.patreon.com/SettlingIsBullshit</a></p><p><strong>Connect with Amanda</strong></p><p>Visit their website (and book a free, 30 minute consultation) <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.amandamelbostadtherapy.com/">https://www.amandamelbostadtherapy.com/</a></p><p>Find them on Psychology Today <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/amanda-melbostad-portland-or/1562150">https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/amanda-melbostad-portland-or/1562150</a></p><p>Find them on LinkedIn <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-melbostad-aa1a4340/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-melbostad-aa1a4340/</a></p><p><strong>Resources, References, and Links</strong></p><p><em>Note: book recommendations include affiliate links. If you buy a copy, I’ll get a tiny commission, and that would be super cool.</em></p><p>Relational Therapy. <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/relational-therapy">https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/relational-therapy</a></p><p>Traveling Monet Exhibit. <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://monetexpo.com/">https://monetexpo.com/</a></p><p>My tiger picture! <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLjI5BFxhzX/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&amp;igsh=cGpxOWFxZGh1NmJr">https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLjI5BFxhzX/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&amp;igsh=cGpxOWFxZGh1NmJr</a></p><p><em>Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear</em> by Elizabeth Gilbert.</p><p>Parts work episode. Episode #46: “Cultivating Self-Acceptance through Parts Work with Celine Redfield, LMFT.” <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/06/26/cultivating-self-acceptance-through-parts-work-with-celine-redfield-lmft/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/06/26/cultivating-self-acceptance-through-parts-work-with-celine-redfield-lmft/</a></p><p>Blind contour exercise. <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-blind-contour-drawing-help-better-artist">https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-blind-contour-drawing-help-better-artist</a></p><p><em>Drawing Lab</em>. <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.powells.com/book/drawing-lab-for-mixed-media-artists-9781592536139">https://www.powells.com/book/drawing-lab-for-mixed-media-artists-9781592536139</a></p><p>Vision boards. <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/a29959841/how-to-make-a-vision-board/">https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/a29959841/how-to-make-a-vision-board/</a></p>

<p>This episode goes out to anyone who is wandering the minefield of modern dating and needs a little pep talk about rejection. It’s a rallying cry to remember that relationships are all about fit, and that when something doesn’t work out, it’s easier to believe that, in the long term, this is for our own good.</p><p>So, basically, if you want to hear me remind you that things are ultimately going to be okay and that there’s an opportunity for learning and resilience in this experience – give this a listen.</p><p>If you’re in the big feelings and grief of a break up or things not working out, this may not be the time to press play. Call and friend, cry it out, and come back when you’re ready to hear some optimism and hope.</p><p>Read the transcript at <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://SettlingIsBullshit.com">SettlingIsBullshit.com</a></p><p>Support the podcast on Patreon at SettlingIsBullshit <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.patreon.com/c/SettlingIsBullshit">https://www.patreon.com/SettlingIsBullshit</a></p><p><strong>Resources, References, and Links</strong></p><p>Episode #41: “If You’re Freaking Out Right Now… (Press Play) <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/05/22/if-youre-freaking-out-right-now/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/05/22/if-youre-freaking-out-right-now/</a></p><p>Episode #52: “If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes” <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/08/27/if-nothing-changes-nothing-changes/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/08/27/if-nothing-changes-nothing-changes/</a></p><p>Blog Post/Bonus Episode: “Dating Is Supposed to Be FUN” <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2024/01/31/dating-is-supposed-to-be-fun/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2024/01/31/dating-is-supposed-to-be-fun/</a></p><p>Episode #46: Cultivating Self-Acceptance through Parts Work with Celine Redfield, LMFT” <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/06/26/cultivating-self-acceptance-through-parts-work-with-celine-redfield-lmft/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/06/26/cultivating-self-acceptance-through-parts-work-with-celine-redfield-lmft/</a></p><p>Episode #33: “Practical Mysticism and Trusting the Divine with Julie Day” <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/02/13/practical-mysticism-and-trusting-the-divine-with-julie-day/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/02/13/practical-mysticism-and-trusting-the-divine-with-julie-day/</a></p>

<p>It ain’t easy to step off the beaten path or to swim ashore from the river of what everyone else is doing. But consciously choosing to opt out of hustle culture and the grind of unrealistic expectations isn’t impossible! It’s hard, for sure. It’s also hella worth it.</p><p>In this conversation with Matthew Smith, founder of Wimp Decaf and multi-passionate entrepreneur, we talk about his journey of stepping off the hustle treadmill and onto the path of living the life he actually wants.</p><p>The conversation is also about our mutual journeys of sobriety and spirituality, the playfulness of accepting life as it is, learning what it’s like to have a regulated nervous system, defining what matters to us, and the liberation of getting to choose what counts as enough.</p><p>Read the transcript at: <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/09/03/opting-out-of-hustle-culture-matthew-smith-wimp-decaf/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/09/03/opting-out-of-hustle-culture-matthew-smith-wimp-decaf/</a></p><p>Support the podcast on Patreon at SettlingIsBullshit <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.patreon.com/c/SettlingIsBullshit">https://www.patreon.com/SettlingIsBullshit</a></p><p><strong>Connect with Matthew and Wimp</strong></p><p>Buy some decaf and/or sign up for the awesome Wimp newsletter <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.wimpdecaf.com/">https://www.wimpdecaf.com/</a></p><p>Follow Wimp on Instagram @wimpdecaf <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/wimpdecaf/">https://www.instagram.com/wimpdecaf/</a></p><p>Join the conversation on Reddit r/decaf_life <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/decaf_life/">https://www.reddit.com/r/decaf_life/</a></p>

<p>While it’s a pithy and seemingly obvious statement, the fact remains that: if nothing changes, nothing changes. In other words, if we want things to be different, we have to start doing things differently. This counts for dating, career change, healthy habits, sobriety - any time we want things to be better, easier, or more awesome.</p><p>So this episode is a pep talk for change and an opportunity for self-compassion around all the ways and reasons that change is hard!</p><p>I also give you the rundown on the six stages of change – which is really just a cycle of change that we move through over and over again. If you need a refresher, here they are:</p><ul><li>Precontemplation</li><li>Contemplation</li><li>Preparation</li><li>Action</li><li>Maintenance</li><li>Relapse</li><li>(and then back to precontemplation!)</li></ul><p>Read the transcript and get the show notes at <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="http://SettlingIsBullShit.com">SettlingIsBullShit.com</a></p><p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/08/27/if-nothing-changes-nothing-changes/">https://settlingisbullshit.com/2025/08/27/if-nothing-changes-nothing-changes/</a></p><p>Support the podcast on Patreon at SettlingIsBullshit <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.patreon.com/c/SettlingIsBullshit">https://www.patreon.com/SettlingIsBullshit</a></p>