Miss Thing with Greg Trimmer & Tim Zientek

Inertias, you’re about to SCREAM (2) because the talent of this famous three-name TV legend is so insane, it could turn your Intentions Cruel. She’s a Simply Irresistible comedic and dramatic actress, every gay guys’ wishlist beard, an action hero, a horror icon, the world’s most famous vampire slayer, and Tim’s ultimate Miss Thing of Miss Things — SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR! In this ep, Tim recalls the time he became the king of his high school only to make a decision so quizzical that it kneecapped his popularity and left everyone calling him “The Grudge Boy” while Greg recounts a series of events that ultimately led to him being backstage at “Waitress” with Sarah Michelle herself! Other highlights include: Greg winning halloween, Tim earning his cohost’s pride with the publishing of his New Yorker article, Greg’s good luck (babe) run, and Tim’s experience in an S&M chat room. They also discuss the wise words of a hot yoga teacher, gaybaiting, rage content, blumpkins, and the pharmaceutical company Tim’s family should own. On top of that, the boys ask important questions like “Is there anything sexier than your boyfriend fixing the toilet?”, “Does the StairMaster make your butt smaller or bigger?”, and “Who is every little gay boy’s beard in 2024?” So Gennifer Zs, put on your cross necklaces and remember to bless God for the broken road that led you straight to Miss Thing. Also never forget to eat good fats and the stronger your legs, the longer you’ll live! BONK!

Trick or Treat Inertias and welcome to our Halloween Spooktacular! Or as Greg would call it, “Ryan Murphy Pee-sents Gregtesquerie!” This week, we celebrate someone whose impact is so large, she literally invented the found footage genre. Not only is she the most famous project out there, but she’s also the most famous witch (not counting any witch played by our BFF Cynthia Erivo). Yes that’s right, our Miss Thing this week is the queen of guerilla marketing and the girl everyone wants a glimpse of — BLAIR WITCH! In this ep, Tim recalls the bumpy experience he had watching Little Miss Blair which quickly turned into a real life, week-long nightmare for his family while Greg harkens back to a day that he chose chaos by pulling a prank so massive that some of his friends ended up never talking to him again. The boys also talk hippity-hops, Chainfest, the wrestling federation formerly known as WWF, Tom Cruise’s coconut cake, and Tim’s pumpkin-themed outfit. Other highlights include: celebrating Greg’s 11/12ths birthday, Tim’s wonderful experience with the working women of the Getty, cruising around in a Waymo (Waymo sponsor us!), the pronunciation of “Oregon,” and longing for Van Gogh’s extreme overexposure. They also play the new hit game, “Babadook or Babadon’t” and do a Tyra Banks-inspired interview to grill the Blair Witch herself. So Gennifer Zs, stop what you’re doing and get ready to go on a Spoooookiecrisp (TM) trip into the woods where you will never be the same! BOO!! And also BONK!!

Gennifer Zs, after hearing this episode, you’d be more than just a little Justified if you had Butterflies in your stomach from feeling like you were floating on a Rainbow. Well hold onto your neon cowboy hats and get ready for an experience that’s anything but Too Good To Be True, because our Miss Thing this week is none other than queer icon, incredible lyricist, and quintessential queen of vibes — KACEY MUSGRAVES! In this NOT Slow Burn of an ep, Tim looks back on the time he was staying on an estancia in Uruguay and almost caused a sweet Irish woman to be trampled to death by a horse while Greg opens up about the bowl of Cheerios that started a war between him and his sister. The boys also talk about the magical qualities of a squeegee, do a Capri Sun taste test (sponsor us already!), and question if Trace Adkins is a country star or a diet. They also get into the clownery of Joker: Folie a Deux, react to the pod getting banned in unexpected places for “sexual content,” and Tim may or may not mimic Greg for a biiit too long. Now hurry up, it’s almost Golden Hour, so listen to this ep before you have yourself a Lonely Weekend. And most importantly, no matter what you do Inertias, do NOT fly with a *certain nameless Irish Airline* as they are now our mortal enemies. BONK!

DISCLAIMER: The global icon in this episode is so monumental, you’d face the Battle of Five Armies, the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Nightmare Alley just to get a glimpse of her Blue Jasmine. She may be Australia’s answer to Meryl Streep, everyone’s Mistress America, and Lydia F*ckin’ Tár, but this two time Academy Award winner’s most important role to date is as this week’s Miss Thing — CATE BLANCHETT! In this ep, Tim looks back on the bathroom adventure that left his mom waving down every car on the highway to check if he was in their trunk while Greg harkens back to a night he was being an irresistible Carol at a party and unknowingly seduced someone out of the closet. NOTE (on this Scandal): Greg doesn’t remember the plot of Carol at all… Tim also talks about the Ubatuba tour he wants the pod to go on, Greg demands a Pink eye and Pink tongue check, and they both divulge more than a few divine secrets of the Ya-Ya sisterhood. They also taste test a taffy so tart it causes an eye twitch, ask the important Q: “Can straight men work at an Acai restaurant,” and scream/cry over the tour de force feat of cinema that is “The Substance.” They also pay tribute to the original sequel queen Maggie Smith and play two very important new games: “Sister, Mother, Daughter: K/Cate Edition” and “Elizabeth The First or Elizabeth The Second”. So Inertias, break out your roomtempanadas and chow down as you listen to an episode so good it’ll go down as a defining artifact of our new Golden Age. Oh and don’t forget it’s EGTFIT+W awareness month so wave those flags high and proud!! BONK!

Stand Back, Gennifer Zs, ‘cause we’re about to set your Rooms On Fire! Our Bella Donna of a Miss Thing this week is the definition of autumn in a person, the blueprint for witchy style, hypnotic twirls, raspy vocals, and the queen of her reflection in the snow covered hills literally causing a landslide — STEVIE NICKS! In this episode, Tim remembers a time he cast a "Like Spell" to get a girlfriend that quickly backfired into a hex and caused him to be the gossip of his middle school computer class while Greg sifts through the emotional (and physical) wreckage of the day he almost burnt his kitchen down doing the most basic task a person can do. The boys also chat about the motherly urge to constantly be returning something, Greg’s clover tongue trick, Tim’s bird whistle, and who of them is a Dave and who is a Buster. Other major moments include: Tim learning about Mavis Beacon, Greg remembering the time he forced his grandmother to take him to see psychosexual thriller “What Lies Beneath” in theaters, and both of them rehashing this past weekend where they went to a shoes-off party that Greg was not dressed appropriately for from the ankle down. They also introduce the world to the legendary new games “Stevie Nicks or Jolly Old St. Nick” and “Which Pop Star Would Survive in Oregon Trail.” So Inertias, we’ll Stop Draggin’ Your Hearts Around only if you go strap on your Leather and Lace right this instant and listen to an ep that’ll make all your Dreams come true and also make you get right with God and the nuns. BONK!