Divorcing Dads

Fourteen months after the divorce, Mark is enjoying time with his new girlfriend and learning what it's like to be in a healthy relationship. While Mark and his girlfriend are getting ready for their kids to meet, Mark is working through his relational insecurities. Mark reflects on how his experience as a child to parents who argued often shaped his sense of being responsible for other people's happiness, and contributes to his worrying that his girlfriend is quietly upset or displeased with...

More than 13 months after the divorce, Mark is excited about a woman he started dating, who shocked and delighted him by bringing him flowers on Father's Day. We talk about how Mark introduced his new relationship to his kids, and how he experienced their response to the news. Mark continues to process his reactions to his ex, and is moving toward considering her more as unaware and unempathetic than as intentionally malicious.The book Forgive for Good (by Frederic Luskin) has be...

Nearly a year after the divorce, Mark is planning a 2-week trip with his kids, and enjoying his ability to share more of his culture of origin with his kids than when he was married. Mark continues to explore dating, and finds that his anxiety around dating diminishes as his goal shifts from wanting to be liked to checking if the connection feels like a good match. While much of Mark's life feels good, Mark is becoming increasingly aware the anger he feels toward his ex and her affair partn...

Eleven and a half months after the divorce, Mark finds himself repeatedly rattled by unexpected close encounters with his ex' affair partner, and he is processing the anger and hurt that he feels toward his ex and her partner. We discuss ways for Mark to set clear boundaries with his ex in order to make sure these encounters don't take him by surprise. We also talk about ways to handle those times when his ex ignores his requests, including how to communicate about those times with his ex, an...

Eleven months after the divorce, Mark and his ex switched to the new 2-2-5 parenting schedule, and Mark is still figuring out how well the new schedule is working for him and the kids. Mark also realized that the pet birds he was stuck with and is caring for are a vestige of taking care of his ex, which is not something he wants to keep doing. Mark is grateful that his kids are doing so well, and reflects on the incredible hidden blessings that resulted from his divorce. We also talk about ou...