Welcome to The Big Smoke Variety Show Christmas Special, recorded live beneath the West End at The Phoenix Arts Club. Tonight, we gather for an old-fashioned festive tradition: ghost stories at Christmas, games played in good company, and the sense of connection that comes from gathering together at the darkest time of the year. We begin with Charles Dickens, and a lesser-known seasonal tale from The Pickwick Papers: The Story of the Goblins Who Stole a Sexton — a darkly comic story of Gabriel Grubb, a gravedigger who despises merriment and is forced to confront what it means to sneer at the joy of others. From there, the live show unfolds with crackers pulled, paper crowns donned, groan-worthy jokes judged, and the mysteriously hidden Christmas Pickle, promising good fortune to whoever spots it first. Music fills the room thanks to the Lewisham Creative Chorus, performing original festive material, while Sean Clark the Mudlark shares a true ghostly tale about a trade token from the Thames foreshore, and its link to the famous diarist Samuel Pepys. After a suitably Dickensian Pub Quiz, the night darkens with one of the most unsettling Christmas ghost stories ever written: Elizabeth Gaskell’s The Old Nurse’s Story, read by Rachel Pickup — bleak, wintry, and deliciously spine-tingling. We then consult Dr Quack, whose hysterical and historically accurate medical treatments come back to haunt him. We hear some of our audience’s favourite Christmas memories, the pickle is finally revealed, and we leave the live space behind for one final reflection: a meditation on the restless spirit of one of the original pantomime dames, Dan Leno, who may never have quite left the theatre on Drury Lane. So pour yourself something warm, listen closely, and join us beneath the glittering West End. Merry Christmas, and we’ll see you soon in The Big Smoke. — Chapters (00:00) Christmas Memories (02:14) Intro (03:30) The Story of the Goblins Who Stole a Sexton (17:28) Christmas Crackers (21:00) Lewisham Creative Chorus (30:37) Sean Clark the Mudlark’s Latest Find (42:15) Pub Quiz: The Three Spirits (48:51) The Old Nurses Story (1:04:21) Dr Quack (1:14:48) Christmas Memories (1:16:13) The Ghost of a Pantomime Dame (1:22:16) ‘Merry Christmas Everyone’ sung by Lewisham Creative Chorus — Credits Hosted & Executive Produced by Kevin Bennett Produced & Edited by Alex Graham Assistant Produced by Adam Wright Original theme music by Giles Terera, arranged and played by Joseph Atkins The Old Nurses Story by Elizabeth Gaskell adapted by Cait Roddam Jones and performed by Rachel Pickup Dr Quack written and performed by Jolyon Coy Many thanks to our musical guests Thomas Guthrie and the Lewisham Creative Chorus with Outcry Ensemble, Vox Urbane's Vox Genesis programme, Lydia Kenny, Francesca Collyer-Powell, Jessica Anderson, Jess Mollie and Mike Veazey