The Mediocre Black Woman

<p>Someone recently shared a memory about me from when I was a little girl. They described me as defiant.</p><p>I wasn’t trying to be defiant. I was just existing. I came into a room, in my body, in my hair, just myself — and that read as too much.</p><p>I’ve been sitting with that word all week. Because I think a lot of us got a version of that message. Maybe it wasn’t defiant for you. Maybe it was <em>aggressive.</em> Or <em>difficult.</em> Or just a silence. A room that went still when you walked in and spoke.</p><p>Somewhere along the way your voice learned it had to earn its place.</p><p>And right now — Mercury retrograde in Pisces, eight days from a New Moon, the eclipse portal from March 3rd still open — the sky is asking all of us to go inward. Your exhaustion is not a malfunction. Your body is doing something real.</p><p>This episode is about the throat chakra wound. Where it lives. How it spreads — into your relationships, your work, your money, your ability to ask for anything at all. And what it actually feels like to stop collapsing your own voice.</p><p>xoxo,</p><p>Empress Theadora</p><p></p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://themediocreblackwoman.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&#38;utm_campaign=CTA_2">themediocreblackwoman.substack.com/subscribe</a>

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit <a href="https://themediocreblackwoman.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&#38;utm_campaign=CTA_7">themediocreblackwoman.substack.com</a><br/><br/><p>If you’re a free subscriber, you can hear the preview of this episode above. And I want you to know — what came through in this reading is the kind of thing that doesn’t leave you quickly. It’s going to sit with you. I used the Body Knows Spread for this reading. Three questions. Six cards. And everything that came through was about one thing: <strong>How long have you been defending yourself to people who have already decided how they see you? </strong></p><p>The full episode unlocks for paid members, along with the complete written reading below — all three positions, the integration, and the body-based practice to help you actually move this through your system instead of just thinking about it.</p><p>And if the preview of this reading is already doing something in your body — that tightening, that recognition, that quiet <em>oh</em> — that is your sign.</p><p>The House is $55/month. There’s a 7-day free trial so you can feel the space before you commit.</p><p><strong>JOIN THE HOUSE NOW.</strong></p><p>I’ll see you inside.</p>

<p>This morning did not go according to “plan”. I had an episode written.Structured. Layered. Ready to land. <strong>And I didn’t want to do it. Literally said to myself, “fuck that”!</strong></p><p>I woke up with resistance. Didn’t want to adult. Didn’t want to be disciplined. Didn’t want to execute the outline. So instead of forcing it, I said that out loud. And we pulled cards.</p><p><p>The Mediocre Black Woman is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></p><p>Day 13 in tarot is Death — shedding. Shedding old reactions. Shedding urgency. Shedding ego noise. Shedding the need to control perception.</p><p>What I didn’t realize until we were mid-live was this: <strong>The thing I was meant to shed was my agenda.</strong></p><p>One of the cards literally said: “I release my own agenda.”</p><p>And that’s when it clicked. Releasing my agenda didn’t just mean surrendering control in life. It meant surrendering the plan for the episode. Because if I’m teaching spirit versus ego…Then forcing the structure would have been my ego.</p><p>Ego would have said: Stick to the outline. Be polished. Be consistent. Don’t derail the arc.</p><p><p>Thanks for reading The Mediocre Black Woman! This post is public so feel free to share it.</p></p><p>But my Spirit said: You’re tired. You want to play. You don’t want to perform. <strong>And I listened.</strong></p><p>We pulled:“I’m the motherfucking prize.”“I am my own home and I say who is welcome here.”Eight of Wands — momentum.King of Swords — cut the crap.Page of Pentacles — stop being your own enemy.Death again — release what’s over.</p><p>And at the very end, when I pulled one more card for the road? “I tend to the needs of my inner child.” I laughed. Because that was the whole lesson.</p><p>This resistance wasn’t sabotage. It wasn’t laziness. It wasn’t regression. It was my inner child saying: <strong>What about me? </strong>What about play? What about freedom? What about doing something just because I want to?</p><p><strong>Play is not a detour from purpose. Fun is not a distraction from alignment.</strong> </p><p>Being seen today meant being seen un-curated. Being seen resistant. Being seen playful. Being seen real.</p><p>But whether you watched live or you’re reading this now, here’s the visibility practice: <strong>Notice where you are gripping the plan so tightly that you can’t hear spirit.</strong></p><p>Release the agenda. Let one thing be led by joy today.</p><p>Pulled by spirit. Dragged through the lessons. Still divine.</p><p>xoxo,</p><p>Empress Theadora</p><p></p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://themediocreblackwoman.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&#38;utm_campaign=CTA_2">themediocreblackwoman.substack.com/subscribe</a>

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit <a href="https://themediocreblackwoman.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&#38;utm_campaign=CTA_7">themediocreblackwoman.substack.com</a><br/><br/><p>Today’s visibility practice is about the difference between ego and our spirit. Sometimes what we call “intuition” is actually fear. Sometimes what we call “wisdom” is actually control. Sometimes what feels urgent isn’t alignment — it’s survival. In today’s reflection, I break down how ego scrambles your signals, how spirit steadies them, and how this plays out in your body, your relationships, and your visibility. If you’ve been feeling mixed messages internally… this one is for you.</p>

<p>The message that came through was that you cannot leave your body out of your spirituality.</p><p>The energy around us was worthiness. <em>You are loved. You are worthy. You are Goddess.</em> Not because you worked hard enough. Not because you proved anything. But because that’s your baseline. And if your body doesn’t feel resourced, your spirit won’t either. Visibility without embodiment turns into burnout.</p><p>What we needed to know was that courage lives in vulnerability. Softness is not weakness. Asking for help is not incompetence. Saying “I’m tired” instead of being resentful is maturity. In a world that rewards performance, vulnerability is the quiet rebellion.</p><p>And what we needed to release? The idea that we can outsource our becoming. You can consult spirit. You can pull cards. You can pray. But you still have to choose. You still have to take the aligned action. You are the midwife to your own highest self.</p><p>Embodied visibility means mind, body, and spirit in agreement. It means listening when your back aches. When your throat tightens. When your heart heats up. It means trusting yourself enough to soften — and brave enough to act.</p><p>Pulled by spirit. Dragged through the lessons. Still divine.</p><p>xoxo,</p><p>Empress Theadora</p><p></p> <br/><br/>This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://themediocreblackwoman.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&#38;utm_campaign=CTA_2">themediocreblackwoman.substack.com/subscribe</a>