Love-ly: Exploring Modern Relationships

"No foreplay. We're literally just going straight in." That's how comedian Salma Hindy describes her experience on @subwaytakes. And honestly? It's the perfect way to kick off this week's episode. Salma grew up the daughter of an imam in Toronto, enforcing the rules harder than anyone. Then, somewhere between removing her hijab, quitting engineering, moving to New York, and being disowned by her father, she had to figure out who she actually was and how to start dating. This week, Mehak (@whathemehak) sits down with Salma (@salma.hindy) for one of those conversations that really just goes there. We get into: Being estranged and disowned by her father Two years of celibacy and what finally prompted it Why vaginismus is NOT a vagina Christmas (it's quite the opposite) How ayahuasca helped her heal her relationship with men Why she always dates younger What a "chuckle fucker" is Her biggest pet peeve in modern dating Living by design vs. living seeking permission Connect with Salma Website: salmahindy.com | Instagram: @salma.hindy | TikTok: @salma.hindy Podcast: The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women Hosted by: Mehak ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@whathemehak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on TikTok | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@whathemehak_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on IG Subscribe & Listen 🔗 Immigrantly Uninterrupted on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — $3.99/month or $34.99/year for ad-free episodes and more 🔗 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to Hyphenly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,  our new newsletter with hot takes, heartfelt stories, and all the feels of living in between cultures. Come for the nuance, stay for the vibes. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave a Review: If you enjoy the show, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts & Spotify — it helps more people find us. 💌 Share your thoughts: ⁠[email protected]⁠ Follow Us: 📸 ⁠⁠⁠@lovelythepod⁠ on IG | ⁠@immigrantly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on TikTok Credits: Producer: Shei Yu | Content Writer: Mehak | Sound Designer & Editor: Lou Raskin I Love-ly Theme Music: Lou Raskin | Other Music: Epidemic Sound | Cover Art: Josephine Chai | Executive Producer: Saadia Khan Love-ly is an Immigrantly Media Production. For advertising inquiries, email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the love you grew up with wasn't love at all — it was control? This week, Mehak (@whathemehak) sits down with Dr. Joy Berkheimer, licensed marriage and family therapist, for an honest and frankly, jaw-dropping conversation. Dr. Joy doesn't just talk about narcissism from behind a clipboard — she lived it. From growing up in a Caribbean-American household where perfectionism was survival, to marrying a narcissist without realizing it, to discovering an affair when her daughter was just seven months old. In this episode: The Summer House Amanda & Wes situation — instamacy or betrayal What "instamacy" is and why it feels like a soulmate connection What narcissism actually looks like in a family system Why marriage has historically not benefited women What sexual liberation actually looks like vs. performing confidence Why modern dating feels so dry and what Dr. Joy required before saying yes to a date Connect with Dr. Joy: Website: joyberkheimer.com | Instagram: @glowyourgoddess Hosted by: Mehak ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@whathemehak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on TikTok | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@whathemehak_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on IG Subscribe & Listen 🔗 Immigrantly Uninterrupted on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ — $3.99/month or $34.99/year for ad-free episodes and more 🔗 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to Hyphenly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,  our new newsletter with hot takes, heartfelt stories, and all the feels of living in between cultures. Come for the nuance, stay for the vibes. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave a Review: If you enjoy the show, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts & Spotify — it helps more people find us. 💌 Share your thoughts: ⁠[email protected]⁠ Follow Us: 📸 ⁠⁠⁠@lovelythepod⁠ on IG | ⁠@immigrantly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on TikTok Credits: Producer: Shei Yu | Content Writer: Mehak | Sound Designer & Editor: Lou Raskin I Love-ly Theme Music: Lou Raskin | Other Music: Epidemic Sound | Cover Art: Josephine Chai | Executive Producer: Saadia Khan Love-ly is an Immigrantly Media Production. For advertising inquiries, email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's episode is a feed drop from Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships! Have you ever felt so burnt out on dating that you wanted to give up? This may sound counterintuitive, but Dateable hosts Yue and Julie are talking about how decentering men and dating could be the key to removing this dating exhaustion – and ultimately finding your person. They talk with comedian Allison Goldberg about how she shifted her dating strategy to staying open to meeting someone but not making her whole life centered around it. They discuss the difference between decentering vs not trying at all, how to avoid slipping into the line of heterofatalism, and tangible ways you can build an incredible life that someone is only so lucky to join. Enjoy! To learn more about Allison and to go to a Love Isn't Blind show near you, go to https://loveisntblind.com/ Check out the Dateable website for more content. Follow @dateablepocast on Instagram. 🔗 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to Hyphenly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,  our new newsletter with hot takes, heartfelt stories, and all the feels of living in between cultures. Come for the nuance, stay for the vibes. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 👉 Please share the love and leave us a review on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to help more people find us!  Don’t forget to subscribe!  If you'd like to share your thoughts about this episode or any other episode, you can contact [email protected]. Follow us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: @immigrantlypods | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@lovelythepod TikTok: @immigrantly | @whathemehak Love-ly is an Immigrantly Media Production. For advertising inquiries, email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Mehak (@whathemehak) sits down with comedian Tommy Mellor (@tommymellor) for a conversation that's equal parts funny and surprisingly candid about love across cultures. Tommy shares the story of how a one-kilometer Bumble radius led him to his now-wife, a Pakistani woman who initially agreed to the date, thinking a comedian might make for a good story to tell her friends. That story turned into a cross-cultural love story that took him all the way to Lahore for a three-day wedding — where he got his shoes stolen, was fed sweets by strangers, signed a marriage certificate behind a curtain, and somehow ended his first night as a married man sleeping next to his cousin. Along the way, Tommy gets into converting to Islam twice — once at a comedy club, once at a mosque — navigating the early days of dating someone whose parents were simultaneously arranging meetings with engineers and Tesla-driving prospects, and what it's like to walk into a Pakistani restaurant as the only white guy in the room. Plus: camel riding in Karachi, learning Urdu badly but earnestly, and why being 30 in Pakistan apparently makes you a very easy sell to future in-laws. Connect with Tommy here. Hosted by: Mehak ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@whathemehak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on TikTok and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@whathemehak_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on IG Producers: Saadia Khan and Shei Yu | Content Writers: Mehak | Sound Designer & Editor: Lou Raskin I Love-ly Theme Music: Lou Raskin | Other Music: Epidemic Sound | Cover art design: Josephine Chai | Executive Producer: Saadia Khan 🔗 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to Hyphenly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,  our new newsletter with hot takes, heartfelt stories, and all the feels of living in between cultures. Come for the nuance, stay for the vibes. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 👉 Please share the love and leave us a review on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to help more people find us!  Don’t forget to subscribe!  If you'd like to share your thoughts about this episode or any other episode, you can contact [email protected]. Follow us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: @lovelythepod TikTok  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@immigrantly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love-ly is an Immigrantly Media Production. For advertising inquiries, email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Mehak (⁠⁠@whathemehak⁠⁠) sits down with Baji from Dear Baji (@leveluponepercent), a free Muslim matchmaking service, to ask the question nobody wants to answer honestly: are you even your type's type? Baji breaks down what she actually sees running her matchmaking platform: people with lists of requirements who've never stopped to ask what they bring to the table or whether the person they want would even want them back. Baji reveals the patterns she sees as a matchmaker: how people get trapped by their own lists while ignoring the one thing that actually leads to compatibility—brutal, honest self-awareness. They also revisit the age-old discussion about men as providers: what it means in Islam, how expectations have shifted, and whether it's a dealbreaker or just one piece of a bigger compatibility puzzle. Also, why looks matter more than people admit, what rigid height preferences actually reveal, and why your "non-negotiables" might be working against you. If you've ever wondered why dating feels so hard, this episode might have an uncomfortable but useful answer. Connect with Baji @leveluponepercent on TikTok and Instagram. Hosted by: Mehak ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@whathemehak⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on TikTok and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@whathemehak_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on IG Producers: Saadia Khan and Shei Yu | Content Writers: Mehak | Sound Designer & Editor: Lou Raskin I Love-ly Theme Music: Lou Raskin | Other Music: Epidemic Sound | Cover art design: Josephine Chai | Executive Producer: Saadia Khan 🔗 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to Hyphenly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,  our new newsletter with hot takes, heartfelt stories, and all the feels of living in between cultures. Come for the nuance, stay for the vibes. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 👉 Please share the love and leave us a review on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to help more people find us!  Don’t forget to subscribe!  If you'd like to share your thoughts about this episode or any other episode, you can contact [email protected]. Follow us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: @lovelythepod TikTok  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@immigrantly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love-ly is an Immigrantly Media Production. For advertising inquiries, email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices