The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast

What does it mean to be genuinely known by another person? In this episode of The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast, Paul Cruz sits down with author Pieter Niemann for a thoughtful conversation about identity, autism, dating, loneliness, authenticity, and meaningful human connection. Pieter is the author of Swiping for Something Real, a book about dating, connection, and the deeper questions people ask while looking for love. His writing grew out of recurring conversations with friends and others who kept returning to similar questions about relationships, identity, and belonging. The conversation begins with Pieter’s belief that questions can sometimes be more powerful than answers. Rather than telling people how to live, he is interested in helping them examine their own thinking and arrive at answers that fit their own lives. Pieter also reflects on receiving an autism diagnosis later in life. He explains how the diagnosis gave him language for earlier experiences involving communication, relationships, and belonging, while reinforcing his view that autism is an important part of who he is without defining his entire identity. A central theme of the episode is the difference between being wanted and being known. Pieter explores why attention, attraction, and validation can feel powerful without necessarily creating a genuine connection. Being known, he suggests, is slower and deeper. It involves curiosity, presence, shared experience, and a willingness to understand another person beyond the surface. Paul and Pieter also discuss why people sometimes pursue relationship titles instead of relationships themselves, how loneliness can shape dating choices, and what genuine curiosity about another person looks like in practice. The conversation then turns to authenticity. Pieter reflects on the difference between putting your best foot forward and performing a version of yourself to be liked. His example of pretending to enjoy hiking becomes a larger discussion about self-editing, acceptance, and the fear that our real selves may not be enough. The episode also explores the difference between loneliness and solitude, why being single should not be treated as a waiting room, and what Neurodivergent perspectives can teach the wider world about clearer communication, self-acceptance, and relationships. In this episode Questions as a tool for self-exploration Identity beyond labels Receiving an autism diagnosis later in life Self-compassion and understanding past experiences Being wanted versus being known Attention, validation, and genuine connection Why do people sometimes chase relationship titles Curiosity as the foundation of connection Authenticity, performance, and self-editing Loneliness versus solitude Being single as a season rather than a waiting room Neurodivergent communication and directness Self-acceptance and relationships About Swiping for Something Real Pieter Niemann’s Swiping for Something Real explores dating, identity, connection, and the questions we ask ourselves while searching for love. The book launches Thursday, October 22, at 18:00 Zurich time / 12:00 New York time. This episode releases on October 21, one day before the launch. Connect with Pieter Website: pieterniemann.com Book: Swiping for Something Real Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pieter_niemann_author LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pieter-niemann About The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast We are now available to watch on Apple Podcasts. Watch now! Join us! The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast amplifies real voices, real stories, and real impact through conversations about autism, ADHD, neurodiversity, accessibility, inclusion, advocacy, education, employment, and lived experience. Hosted by Paul Cruz. Website: www.neurodiversityvoices.com LinkedIn • YouTube: @neurodiversityvoicespodcast Disclaimer: This podcast shares educational content and personal perspectives and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, legal, or other advice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Recognition of ADHD Awareness Month

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Different by Design — Autism, Neurodivergent Identity & Self-Discovery with Tamsyn Hawken What happens when you stop trying to fit in and begin embracing who you truly are? In this archived episode of The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast, host Paul Cruz and former volunteer co-host Letara Couto sit down with Tamsyn Hawken, a mental health mentor supporting university students across the UK. Together, they explore autism, ADHD, identity, belonging, unmasking, representation, and the often complicated journey toward understanding yourself. Drawing from her lived experience as a queer neurodivergent woman, Tamsyn shares how growing up in a rural village shaped her understanding of herself and how limited representation contributed to a delayed recognition of her own neurodivergence. She reflects on receiving autism and ADHD diagnoses, learning to unmask, developing self-advocacy, and finding spaces where people can safely explore and embrace their identities. At the heart of the conversation is Tamsyn’s powerful metaphor of being a zebra among horses—an image that captures what it can feel like to move through a world built around expectations that don’t quite fit. But understanding that you are a zebra can change the story. What once felt like failure to fit in can become an opportunity for self-understanding, connection, empowerment, and belonging. In this conversation: • Autism, ADHD, and later self-discovery • Neurodivergent identity and unmasking • Queer Neurodivergent experiences • Representation and belonging • Self-advocacy and personal growth • Supporting Neurodivergent students in higher education • Systemic barriers within academia • Building inclusive and affirming communities • Self-kindness and self-acceptance Why We’re Replaying This Conversation Many Neurodivergent people spend years feeling different without having the language or representation to understand why. Tamsyn’s story is a reminder of the importance of community, representation, self-understanding, and spaces where people can explore their identities without judgment. It is also a conversation about moving away from the pressure to become someone else—and toward understanding the person who was there all along. This replay also recognizes the contribution of Letara Couto, who joined Paul as a volunteer co-host for the original conversation. About Tamsyn Hawken Tamsyn Hawken is a mental health mentor supporting university students throughout the UK. Through mentoring, advocacy, and educational programs focused on self-advocacy and empowerment, she helps Neurodivergent individuals build confidence, navigate challenges, and celebrate their authentic selves. Key Takeaway You may experience and move through the world differently from the people around you. Understanding those differences—and meeting yourself with greater kindness—can create space for advocacy, connection, belonging, and authentic living. If this conversation resonates with you, subscribe to The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast, leave a review, and share the episode with someone navigating their own journey of Neurodivergent self-discovery. Featuring: Tamsyn Hawken Host: Paul Cruz Volunteer Co-Host: Letara Couto Topics: Autism, ADHD, Neurodiversity, Neurodivergent identity, unmasking, self-discovery, belonging, queer Neurodivergent experiences, higher education, self-advocacy, Tamsyn Hawken, Neurodiversity Voices About The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast We are now available to watch on Apple Podcasts. Watch now! Join us! The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast amplifies real voices, real stories, and real impact through conversations about autism, ADHD, neurodiversity, accessibility, inclusion, advocacy, education, employment, and lived experience. Hosted by Paul Cruz. Website: www.neurodiversityvoices.com LinkedIn • YouTube: @neurodiversityvoicespodcast Disclaimer: This podcast shares educational content and personal perspectives and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, legal, or other advice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is being released on September 9, International FASD Day, a day dedicated to raising awareness of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, improving understanding, and supporting prevention, diagnosis, and meaningful support for individuals and families affected by FASD. In this episode of The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast, released on September 9 in recognition of International FASD Day, Paul speaks with Kathy Unsworth, Executive Director of the Canada FASD Research Network, also known as CanFASD. Kathy explains Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, or FASD, as a lifelong, brain-based neurodevelopmental disability that can affect learning, memory, attention, emotional regulation, communication, sensory processing, executive functioning, and daily living. She discusses why FASD is often misunderstood as a behavioural issue rather than a disability, and why diagnosis can be difficult, expensive, time-consuming, and unevenly available across Canada. This conversation explores the importance of including FASD in the broader neurodiversity and disability conversation. Kathy shares how stigma surrounding prenatal alcohol exposure often shifts attention away from the person living with the disability, making it harder for individuals and families to seek diagnosis, services, and support. Paul and Kathy also discuss CanFASD’s role as Canada’s only national organization focused on FASD research, knowledge translation, workforce development, training, policy support, and community education. Kathy highlights the importance of centering the voices of people with living experience, including caregivers, families, service providers, clinicians, and adults with FASD. The episode also covers diagnosis gaps, misdiagnosis, early intervention, school and workplace supports, justice and child welfare systems, trauma-informed approaches, and the importance of the National FASD Framework and Senate Bill S-234. Throughout the conversation, Kathy emphasizes that FASD does not define a person. People with FASD have strengths, talents, creativity, resilience, determination, and unique ways of thinking. With the right supports, stable relationships, respectful language, and informed communities, individuals with FASD can lead meaningful and fulfilling lives. CANFASD Website: https://canfasd.ca FASD, International FASD Day, FASD Awareness Day, September 9, fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, CanFASD, Kathy Unsworth, neurodiversity, neurodevelopmental disability, brain-based disability, disability rights, FASD awareness, FASD diagnosis, FASD support, FASD Canada, National FASD Framework, Senate Bill S-234, prenatal alcohol exposure, FASD stigma, trauma-informed care, executive functioning, emotional regulation, sensory processing, child welfare, justice system, special education, disability inclusion, caregivers, lived experience, living experience, FASD-informed practice, public health, neurodivergent, neurodivergence About The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast We are now available to watch on Apple Podcasts. Watch now! Join us! The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast amplifies real voices, real stories, and real impact through conversations about autism, ADHD, neurodiversity, accessibility, inclusion, advocacy, education, employment, and lived experience. Hosted by Paul Cruz. Website: www.neurodiversityvoices.com LinkedIn • YouTube: @neurodiversityvoicespodcast Disclaimer: This podcast shares educational content and personal perspectives and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, legal, or other advice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are now on our second season. In this episode of The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast, Paul speaks with Grace Lee, a mother and advocate whose family’s experience with ADHD, special education, and school discipline revealed serious gaps in how schools understand neurodivergent children. Grace shares how her son’s ADHD, emotional dysregulation, and need for behavioral support were misunderstood as defiance, eventually leading to a school disciplinary incident involving law enforcement and the juvenile justice system. She discusses IEPs, Behavior Intervention Plans, Manifestation Determination Reviews, documentation, advocacy burnout, and the importance of connection over punishment. This conversation is a powerful look at what happens when systems fail to recognize neurodivergent children’s needs — and what parents, educators, administrators, and policymakers can do differently. In the News Grace’s family is featured in a recent New York Times and San Antonio Express-News investigation examining how school discipline in Texas can escalate into involvement with the justice system for children and young teens. Read the investigation: For Texas Schoolchildren, Minor Misbehavior Can Mean Criminal Charges ADHD, neurodiversity, neurodivergent children, emotional dysregulation, school discipline, special education, IEP, Behavior Intervention Plan, BIP, Functional Behavior Assessment, FBA, Manifestation Determination Review, MDR, disability rights, parent advocacy, school-to-prison pipeline, juvenile justice, educational reform, de-escalation, trauma-informed education, ADHD parenting, neurodivergent students, educational advocacy About The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast We are now available to watch on Apple Podcasts. Watch now! Join us! The Neurodiversity Voices Podcast amplifies real voices, real stories, and real impact through conversations about autism, ADHD, neurodiversity, accessibility, inclusion, advocacy, education, employment, and lived experience. Hosted by Paul Cruz. Website: www.neurodiversityvoices.com LinkedIn • YouTube: @neurodiversityvoicespodcast Disclaimer: This podcast shares educational content and personal perspectives and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, legal, or other advice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.