Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

“I don’t want to be 60 years old having the same issues I had when I was 25.”

What an honest and important statement from this week's guest, Brandon Ricks. Because the truth is, too many of us have just resigned ourselves to always being the way we are now. The fight for something different is hard, and so we give up. Brandon, though, finally had enough, and he started the painful but hopeful process of healing.

Brandon is a successful entrepreneur with his own company. He projects strength and competency. But for a long time, behind that exterior was someone who had shut down for so long that he couldn’t feel anything—and didn’t know how to. Porn became one of the ways he coped. So did marijuana, which he used to numb himself when life felt too overwhelming or too painful to face. He even shares the detailed story of the period in his life where he considered ending it all (and what kept him from doing it).

In this conversation, Brandon explains how his numbing behaviors weren’t just random vices but survival strategies—ways to avoid the internal world he’d never been taught to navigate. He talks about the moment the Holy Spirit confronted his hiding, how the collapse of a relationship exposed the fragility of his emotional world, and why counseling became the turning point he didn’t know he needed.

Brandon also unpacks what long-term emotional shutdown does to the mind and body, why addiction thrives in silence and isolation, and why maturity requires discomfort, not avoidance. This episode reminds us that healing begins when we stop numbing and start telling the truth—the truth that Jesus says about us and our situations.

We explore:

—Why Brandon learned to shut down his emotions to survive
—How porn and weed became coping mechanisms rather than “just habits”
—The difference between self-protection and sanctification
—Why the Holy Spirit confronted his hiding
—How a painful breakup forced him to reckon with his inner world
—Why healing requires community, honesty, and discomfort
—The neurological impact of long-term emotional shutdown
—The choice every man faces: hide and numb, or grow and tell the truth
—Why he refuses to be “60 years old with the same issues I had at 25”

“Trauma does not reside in the bad event. Trauma is what becomes embedded in your body in the wake of a bad event when there’s no one there to comfort you.”

What if you've been viewing trauma all wrong? And what if you don't think you've experienced trauma but you actually have? My guest this week is renowned trauma therapist Adam Young, and we're having a powerful conversation on not only trauma but our origin stories—specifically our family-of-origin stories. Adam explains why the wounds we minimize—the moments we brush off as “not that bad”—often carry the deepest impact. Because, as he explains, the real harm isn’t the event itself but what happened after: the absence of comfort, attunement, engagement, and care. That’s what embeds in our bodies and shapes the ways we cope. And often, that coping becomes unhealthy when we don't name what has happened and talk about it.

Adam unpacks how trauma lives in the body, why triggers are often physiological rather than emotional, and how our relational histories shape the addictions we later develop. He also explains why dysregulation isn’t a character flaw but a survival response, and why compassion toward your younger self may be the most mature step you can take.

This episode is an invitation to look beneath the behaviors you want to change and explore the stories that shaped them. Healing begins by honoring your wounds and telling the truth about where you come from.

We Explore:

— Why trauma is not the event but the absence of an empathetic witness afterward
— The connection between chronic dysregulation and addiction
— How the body keeps responding to stories long after the mind forgets
— The role of triggers and why they’re physiological
— Why kindness changes the heart more effectively than shame
— What children need to develop securely—and what happens when those needs aren’t met
— How unresolved family-of-origin stories form our adult coping strategies
— Why honoring your wounds is an act of courage, not self-pity
— Practical next steps for engaging your story with curiosity instead of contempt

“We all just have different medicines that we reach for.”

That’s how Tim Sexton describes the real story behind the affair that blew up his life. Even though at one point that affair led to his downfall as a pastor, today it's not something he hides from. Instead, he's leaning into it in hopes to help others, and one of the ways he's doing that is by calling out the roots that run much deeper. Those roots for him? A lifelong addiction to people-pleasing and affirmation rooted in childhood trauma, fear, and spiritual confusion.

In this conversation, Tim opens up about growing up with two alcoholic parents, feeling responsible for their chaos, and carrying a distorted picture of God into adulthood—one built on fear, performance, and the desperate need to be enough. He shares how that inner ache followed him into marriage and ministry, how it quietly shaped his identity, and how flattery, secrecy, and emotional validation became the “medicine” that eventually led to infidelity.

But this is not only a story about destruction. It’s also a story about the long road back—through exposure, humility, counseling, discipleship, and the honest surrender that brings real freedom. Tim talks about the years he spent dismantling false identities, the painful undoing that came even after public confession, and the miracle of restoration he never expected.

If you’ve ever thought you've done something beyond forgiveness, this episode reminds you that there is always hope.

We explore:

—Why infidelity was a symptom, not the root
—How childhood trauma and alcoholic parents shaped Tim’s identity
—People-pleasing as an addiction
—Why fear of God (not awe of God) destroyed his early faith
—The moment everything collapsed on a high-school football field
—What public shame exposed in him
—Why approval addiction is every bit as powerful as substance addiction
—How Jesus rebuilt him from the inside out
—Why the church must rethink restoration
—What it really means when Tim says “The best definition of sin I’ve ever heard is you and me trying to get our needs met apart from Christ.”

“Our hypocrisy is our testimony. That’s God’s glory on display.”

That truth from Faith Womack is exactly what those of us with messy sanctification stories not only need to hear, but embrace and embody. We all fall short. We all stumble. And yet, God uses our weakness—not our polished moments—to reveal His power and his grace.

Faith Womack is one of the most popular Bible teachers on the internet with over 200,000 Instagram followers, and today she's joining the podcast to talk about how our struggles are exactly what God uses to not only refine us but to put himself on display.

In this conversation, Faith and I also talk about how to actually read the Bible faithfully, why so many Christians misuse Scripture, and what it means to walk out holiness without falling into perfectionism. We explore the tension between grace and obedience, why context matters, why so many believers doubt their salvation, and how to build a life that’s rooted in the Word of God. She even helps us unpack some of the Scriptures used against those of us with messy sanctification stories and introduces us to her new book, No More Boring Bible Study.

If you’ve ever felt like your failures or weaknesses disqualify you, this episode is a reminder that they are the very place God shines the brightest.

We explore:

— Why “hermeneutics” isn’t scary but essential
— What legalism gets wrong about holiness
— Lordship Salvation and the fear of “going on sinning”
— How to hold grace and obedience together without shame
— Why the thief on the cross destroys our performance mindset
— What 1 John and Romans 7 really teach about believers and sin
— How to stop weaponizing Scripture and start being formed by it
— Why Bible study must be relational, not just informational
— How abiding in Christ transforms us over time
— The lifelong journey from hypocrisy to testimony

“I was tormented. Literally tormented. I'd look in the mirror and go, ‘What are you doing? That’s not you.’”

Brandon Puffer had everything, or so it seemed. He was a Major League pitcher with a World Series ring and was even being groomed to be a big league coach. But beneath the success were so many secret wounds that he refused to deal with. One night, after years of quiet compromising and numbing pain with alcohol, he made a decision that changed everything.

In this episode, Brandon tells his story with raw honesty—from a childhood shaped by trauma and numbing, to five years of sobriety and faith, to the night that landed him in a Texas prison. He shares how small compromises led to massive consequences, what repentance really looks like, and how God’s grace can redeem even the most broken story.

This isn’t a tale of excuses, it’s one of ownership, humility, and the long, painful work of redemption.

We explore:

— The slippery slope from “one drink” to full relapse
— How trauma and insecurity planted the seeds of addiction
— Why white-knuckling sobriety never works
— What true repentance means: turning, not just confessing
— How taking full responsibility became his path to freedom
— The consequences that remain even after grace
— How to live unashamed when the world won’t forget
— Why humility, gratitude, and daily discipline keep him sober
— What it means to be “faithful in the little things” after hitting bottom