Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

“Everyone has a shame story.” That’s from this week’s guest, Dr. Zoe Shaw. And she’s right. Shame isn’t reserved for the dramatic or the scandalous. It’s universal. It goes back to the garden. It hides deep. And it quietly shapes far more of our behavior than we’d like to admit. Dr. Zoe is a licensed psychotherapist, speaker, and author of Stronger in the Difficult Places: Heal Your Relationship with Yourself by Untangling Complex Shame. Her story has been featured on the OWN Network, and her clinical work focuses on helping people untangle complex shame, break cycles of codependency, and build emotionally healthy relationships rooted in truth instead of hiding. In this episode, we unpack what shame really is, how it forms, and why so many Christians confuse shame with holiness. Zoe shares her story of becoming pregnant at 15, being sent away to give birth in secret, and returning home carrying layers of hidden shame that shaped decades of overachievement, people-pleasing, and self-protection. And if you’ve spent any time in recovery, you know this pattern. Shame doesn’t make you better. It makes you hide. It drives behavior underground. It convinces you that if people really knew you, they wouldn’t love you—and maybe that God wouldn’t either. Zoe explains the difference between guilt and shame, simple shame and complex shame, and why guilt can lead to repentance, but shame leads to isolation. We talk about how complex shame snowballs over time, how overachievement can become a coping strategy, and why external validation doesn’t always dissolve what’s happening internally. We also talk about faith. About bringing your real self—not just your cleaned-up self—to Christ. Because the gospel tells us we are loved despite our flaws and invites us out of hiding. We wrestle with forgiveness—not as minimizing what happened—but as “giving up all hope of a better past.” We talk about codependency, about trying to fix others in order to feel worthy ourselves. And we explore what Zoe calls the “maintenance phase” of healing, where shame still shows up but no longer gets to run the show. If everyone has a shame story, the real question becomes: What are you doing with yours? Are you hiding it? Managing it? Overachieving around it? Or are you bringing it into the light—where Christ has been inviting you the whole time? Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible here. We Explore: —The difference between guilt, simple shame, complex shame, and toxic shame—Why shame drives behavior underground instead of transforming it—How complex shame builds in layers over time—The connection between shame and overachievement, self-harm, and addiction patterns—What it means to “deconstruct the blame”—Forgiveness as giving up hope of a different past—The link between shame and codependency—Why fixing others won’t fix you—Healthy vulnerability versus oversharing—What the maintenance phase of healing actually looks like Get Zoe's new book: Stronger in the Difficult PlacesFollow Zoe on InstagramWatch Zoe's story on OWNFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicGet the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible: https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“I feel like I’m seeing colors now that I didn’t know existed.” There should be a study done on how many recovering addicts say this exact thing (or something similar) about colors and their senses. It's what I said after getting sober and pursuing Jesus, and it's what Eddie Brett told me happened to him after he did the same thing.  Eddie is someone who had it all. He had the record deal. The top 10 hit. The Simon Cowell contract. He stood on the stage of Britain’s Got Talent and nearly won the whole thing. From the outside, it looked like momentum and success. But inside, things were unraveling. After getting dropped from his label, the drinking escalated. Nights blurred together. Shame piled up. A drunk-driving incident forced him to sit with a question he’d been avoiding: What if this isn’t just normal partying? What if this is something deeper? In this episode, Eddie opens up about chasing blackouts, losing himself in alcohol culture, and the moment he admitted in a lonely studio, “I’ve actually got a problem.” He talks about what sobriety exposed in him—old wounds, fear of rejection, and a lifelong habit of running—and he shares how faith grew out of his climb toward finding the parts of himself he had numbed away. If you’ve ever felt empty after getting everything you wanted, you'll want to hear Eddie's story. Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible here. We Explore: – Fame, record deals, and the identity crisis that followed success– The cultural pressure of British drinking culture and why “I’m fine” is so easy to believe– The drink-driving incident that forced an honest look inward– Writing a song alone in a studio and realizing, “I’ve actually got a problem”– Why early sobriety felt like missing out—and how that shifted– Replacing alcohol with discipline, fitness, and intentional habits– The impact of a 30-year sober church member who radiated joy– How faith reshaped his fashion, language, career decisions, and relationships– Why pursuing Jesus changed more than just his drinking– What it means to “see colors you didn’t know existed” in sobriety Listen to Eddie's new Album: Common KalosFollow Eddie on InstagramFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicGet the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible: https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Hope does not know how to leave. It just stays and quietly whispers, 'everything’s going to be okay. I know everything isn’t okay right now. Everything’s going be okay.'” That's from Tanner Olson, an absolutely incredible poet who has a lot to say about the things that plunge us into addiction in the first place. His poetry isn't unreachable, though. It's poetry that meets you where you are at. Especially in your struggles. And that's why I'm talking to him today.  Tanner understands hopelessness—that thing so many of us try to escape and drink away. He's struggled through infertility, depression, and working jobs you know you weren't meant to work. Now he's written a new book all about the antidote to hopelessness called Getting Through What You’re Going Through. It’s a collection of poems and reflections written through hard seasons when the life he wanted felt far out of reach. He doesn’t offer clichés. Instead, he offers beauty. In this episode, we talk about what led to the new book: working at Chick-fil-A at 25 while dreaming of becoming a writer, winters in northern Wisconsin that felt isolating, and depression that wrapped him like a wet bathing suit. But more importantly, we talk about hope—not as a slogan, not as a trite verse thrown at pain—but as something that remains. If you’ve ever felt stuck…If you’ve ever wondered whether you have the faith to sit with yourself instead of escaping…If you’ve ever questioned whether God is still present in what you’re walking through… This conversation is an invitation to slow down and go through it, not around it. Because in those places is where God meets us.  Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible by visiting https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0. We Explore: — Hope as “the full assurance that God is with me in this and will get me through this”— The lie of feeling like a burden and not being good enough— Depression, loneliness, and winters in northern Wisconsin— Working at Chick-fil-A at 25 while pursuing a writing calling— The courage required to leave a season that is no longer life-giving— Why spiritual clichés often deepen wounds instead of healing them— How to sit with someone who feels hopeless without trying to fix them— The quiet, steady nature of real hope— The difference between escapism and endurance— Developing the faith to sit with yourself instead of reaching for escape Get Tanner's new book: Getting Through What You're Going Through: Notes and Poems for Hoping and BecomingFollow Tanner on Instagram and SubstackTanner's website: writtentospeak.comFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicGet the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible: https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Forgiveness isn’t condoning what happened. It’s choosing not to let it destroy you anymore. … I forgave my dad more times than I can count, and I’ll probably keep forgiving him forever.” Those are the beautiful words from Stephen McWhirter. You might not know McWhirter's name, but you do know his songs. Especially one of them. That’s because he’s the man behind the incredibly gripping worship anthem “Come Jesus Come,” recorded by CeCe Winans and eventually country superstar Cody Johnson. But that's just a small part of a much bigger story. That story? It starts at a young age when McWhirter's father, a successful preacher loved by everyone, would beat his mother. The man who would praise God in the morning would punch his mom in the evening. How do you make sense of that? The way so many of us do: we try to escape it. Numb it. Blur it out. That’s exactly what McWhirter did. Despite his Christian upbringing, he ran hard into a life of drugs and alcohol starting at a young age. He needed to do all he could to drown the hypocrisy. The confusion. The images. Until one night, he couldn’t run anymore and God met him in the most unlikely way. In this episode, McWhirter tells his unedited story from bitterness, to addiction, and ultimately to forgiveness. Along the way, he also tells the unlikely story behind Come Jesus Come—a song born out of longing for Christ’s return that later found a wider audience through Winans and Johnson—and explains how that longing reshaped the way he lives in the present. This is a conversation for anyone who has ever tried to run from God, and for anyone longing for things to be made right. Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible by visiting https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0. We explore:  — How spiritual hypocrisy can fuel addiction and rebellion— Growing up with abuse behind the scenes of public faith— Addiction as self-destruction, numbness, and unresolved rage— Encountering Jesus in the middle of active drug use— Why forgiveness is necessary even when reconciliation isn’t possible— The repeated, ongoing nature of true forgiveness— Repentance as an invitation to freedom, not punishment— Why hiding always leads to deeper bondage— Why recovery aimed only at sobriety will never be enough— What it means to become fully alive in Jesus Get Stephen's new book: Radically Restored: How Knowing Jesus Heals Our BrokennessStephen's Instagram: @stephenmcwhirterFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicGet the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible: https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“You are not stuck because of what happened. You’re stuck because your brain keeps running the same play. And your brain is always ready to run a new one the moment you tell it to.” That's just one of the incredible insights from practicing neurosurgeon Dr. Lee Warren, who joins us today to talk about a practice he calls "self-brain surgery." In this conversation, Lee explains how modern neuroscience confirms what Scripture has been teaching for thousands of years: transformation happens through the renewing of the mind, and our brains are not fixed, broken machines doomed to repeat the past. Drawing from his experience as a neurosurgeon, Iraq War veteran, and grieving father, Lee walks through the science of neuroplasticity and why addiction is best understood as a hijacked reward system rather than a moral failure. We talk about how thoughts shape brain structure, why trauma isn’t what keeps us stuck—but our responses to it can—and how believers often unknowingly participate in their own demise by assuming change isn’t possible. This episode is not about quick fixes or denying the need for professional help. It’s about recovering agency, reclaiming responsibility, and understanding that God has designed the brain to change. If you’ve ever felt trapped by patterns you hate, weighed down by grief, or discouraged by how slow sanctification feels, this conversation offers both hope and a way forward. Listen if you want a deeper, grounded understanding of how faith and neuroscience work together in real transformation. We explore: — Why the brain is not creating your thoughts but responding to them— How neuroplasticity explains biblical commands to renew the mind— Addiction as a hijacked reward system rather than mere behavior— The difference between trauma and the responses we form to trauma— Why grief can become something we unconsciously worship— How “self-brain surgery” describes real, structural brain change— The role of metacognition in interrupting destructive thought patterns— Why Christians often feel stuck even while believing the right theology— The limits of medication and the necessity of professional care alongside cognitive change— What it means to refuse to participate in your own demise Get Lee's new book: The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain SurgerySign up for Lee's emailsLee's Instagram: @drleewarrenFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.