Autism Dadcast

You can know your child inside out and still be blindsided in the space of a week.This one starts with Thomas opening the front door and wandering off down a hill in a quiet Shropshire village - the same week Lydia did almost exactly the same thing. From there it runs into the half-term chaos that brought biting back out of nowhere, the dread of summer toilet training and puberty creeping into view, and a proper kicking of the Department for Education for handing SEND to Gemma Collins after the white paper left families feeling gaslit.Underneath the rage and the dark humour, it lands somewhere quieter. Gaz and Andy talk about the pre-autism photos, the grief that takes turns between two parents, and the two-second forehead touch that says everything a spoken "I love you" never will.You'll come away realising two things can be true at once. You can grieve the life you pictured and still get up and be the dad your kid actually needs.

You sit down with the paediatrician. You've got half an hour. You know thefirst 20 minutes will be you trying to prove your child is different to everyother child in that waiting room - and you'll walk out no further forward.Orrin Benford knows that feeling. After a year of being fobbed off across GPs,neurologists and urologists for his daughter Indie, he stopped trying toremember everything off the top of his head and built something that did itfor him. This episode is about what happens when parents stop fighting andstart advocating - with the full picture, not a half-remembered one.In this episode: Orrin's journey from digital-nomad life to full-time parentcarer in Australia, why so many parents feel gaslit by the system, thedifference between fighting and effective advocacy, and how technology isfinally letting parents drive change instead of waiting for the system tocatch up.🔑 Key moments:- 00:38 — Orrin's story: England, Australia, and an airport on Christmas Day- 04:29 — The seizure the day after Indie's first birthday- 12:15 — Healthcare in Australia vs the UK vs Dubai- 17:05 — Why parents hand over "dirty, incomplete data"- 19:22 — The two-page summary that changed everything- 25:16 — Why it's not gaslighting, but it feels like it- 37:35 — The handovers, the ring binders, and the things you forget- 46:19 — The things that break parents are the things that didn't need to happenIf this episode helped, subscribe and leave a review - it helps other parents find us.Follow Orrin: @OrrinBenford | The app: @theindiapp#AutismDadcast #Autism #Parenting #Neurodiversity #ASD #SEND

Adam Parkinson came on this week. One of the Two Mr. Ps. Teaching assistant. Podcaster. Dad of two — a 10-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old autistic son called Max.We talked about Max. We talked about the plane aisle moment his wife filmed without telling him, that went viral and started everything. We talked about siblings, and what it means to watch your daughter try not to look upset when her brother destroys her Barbie Dream House. We talked about online trolls, the dads' WhatsApp group, and the time a stranger told him celebrating his son's diagnosis was "like celebrating your kid having cancer."And we talked about the moment in Popeye's last weekend when Max tried a chicken tender for the first time, looked up, and said one word he'd never said before.Timestamps:0:00 — SATs week, Popeye's, and a school uniform standoff3:00 — Meet Adam and the family4:00 — Spotting it during lockdown5:18 — You're allowed to mourn the life you planned6:23 — The plane aisle video that started everything8:31 — Isla, sibling of the year10:55 — When the Barbie Dream House got destroyed11:53 — You can never relax13:16 — What people don't understand until they live it15:14 — The small wins nobody else sees17:25 — Autism top trumps and 23 hours awake18:30 — Handling violent moments differently after the community20:07 — Verdict. Great. Outstanding.21:25 — Are dads in the SEND world overlooked?24:33 — Permission to talk26:55 — The celebrating cancer comment28:13 — Chubby Tommy Robinson and other DMs31:51 — The dads' WhatsApp army38:33 — Two Mr. Ps and how it started49:17 — Pen licences and getting recognised in your swimming shorts59:55 — Adam's advice to a dad at diagnosis

We ran the London Marathon. We didn't train. We finished it. And then we had a conversation we weren't expecting to have.Halfway through writing this off as a marathon recap, we ended up admitting something neither of us had said out loud before. We talk a lot about wanting to be around as long as we can for our kids. But if we're honest, we're not always doing the things that would actually make that happen.This one's got the funny stuff. The rhinos overtaking us. The fireman in full kit with an air canister on his back. The stranger who fed Gaz crisps when his calf cramped outside a pub. But underneath all of it, the question we couldn't stop asking each other. Are we doing enough? And if we're not, when does that stop?Timestamps:0:00 — Medals, recovery, and the post-marathon shock1:00 — The trainer mistake nobody warned us about3:30 — Hitting the wall at 25k4:53 — How slick the event actually was6:30 — Cody's Sark and looking for Mish in the crowd7:34 — Tower Bridge and faking it for the BBC camera8:35 — "I'd love to do it again, but I'd train this time"9:00 — Why we're already signing up for next year11:21 — The bug we didn't expect to catch12:23 — The honest conversation about staying alive14:14 — What you'd say on your deathbed16:11 — The other dads getting stuck in19:07 — Sean's response when he saw Mish19:33 — Ambitious About Autism at mile 2521:13 — Garmin lies and the 22-mile detour22:35 — The fridge runner and the dementia genes23:34 — The best of London on one day27:19 — Why the donations kept us going29:51 — The crisps, the IPA and the kindness of strangers35:01 — Crossing the line and the wave of emotion35:32 — The voice note that made Gaz cry36:48 — The school forgot Thomas's good luck present37:41 — A shout out to Spot Limited40:11 — Buying us a coffee mid-marathon41:35 — Adam Parkinson and the Australian app42:31 — The kick up the arse we needed

We put two sets of questions to the community. One for dads, one for mums. The dads sent seven. The mums sent seventeen. And most of the mums' questions were about how to get their partner on board.This one hits different. We talk about what happens when you refuse to accept your child's diagnosis. Why dads get left behind. Why mums end up carrying everything. And the moment you have to stop making it about you and start making it about your kid.We also answer the question nobody wants to think about: what do you actually miss? Not the big stuff. The everyday things that every other parent takes for granted.If you're a dad still sitting on the fence, this is the one.Timestamps:0:00 — Marathon panic and stepping in human feces4:39 — Q&A starts: dads' questions5:06 — How did the diagnosis hit you?11:27 — Living in silence and burnout17:33 — Golden hope for adulthood19:25 — Low expectations and why we stop pushing our kids23:05 — Why mums do all the work29:01 — Should the UK adopt autism levels?32:12 — Guilt of calling home from work34:53 — Mums' questions begin35:02 — Why does mum do all the research?39:29 — The wake-up call for dads41:44 — How to support your partner after diagnosis46:42 — Processing trauma of being dismissed52:30 — Coping with isolation1:00:04 — The video that broke us1:02:14 — Advice for grandparents, friends, and family1:10:22 — Coping as a single mum1:14:03 — Keeping calm when professionals fail you1:19:22 — Why is it so hard to be heard?1:22:36 — Unawareness in the medical community1:25:35 — No support after diagnosis1:26:59 — Why aren't there enough specialist schools?1:32:22 — What do dads miss the most?1:36:24 — Supporting a partner as a stepparent1:40:39 — Helping your husband find his tribe