Office Hours with Arthur Brooks
Arthur Brooks
4 Ways to Get Better at Friendship
MAY 18, 202647 MIN
4 Ways to Get Better at Friendship
MAY 18, 202647 MIN
Description
<p>We spend much of our lives building our careers. We chase success, recognition, and expansive networks—yet despite all of it, many of us still experience a quiet, persistent loneliness.</p><p>In this episode of <em>Office Hours</em>, I turn to Aristotle and his work, the <em>Nicomachean Ethics</em>, to ask an age-old question: what makes a good friend? I’ll explore Aristotle’s three types of friendship, and suggest something that sounds counterintuitive: the best of friends are perfectly <em>useless. </em>I also share four practical ways to deepen the friendships you already have, and cultivate more of these <em>useless</em> relationships that create real meaning, deeper happiness, and a life well lived. </p><p>—</p><p><strong>Brought to you by:</strong></p><p>• <a href="https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer"><strong>Noble Mobile</strong></a>—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: <a href="https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks</a> </p><p>—</p><p><strong>Where to find Arthur Brooks: </strong></p><p>• Website: <a href="https://arthurbrooks.com/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://arthurbrooks.com/</a></p><p>• In-person Retreats: <a href="https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/</a> </p><p>• Newsletter: <a href="https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter</a> </p><p>• X: <a href="https://x.com/arthurbrooks" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://x.com/arthurbrooks</a></p><p>• Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/</a></p><p>• Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/</a></p><p>• YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A</a></p><p>• LinkedIn: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/</a></p><p>• Email: <a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">[email protected]</a></p><p>—</p><p><strong>Timestamps:</strong></p><p>(00:00) Intro</p><p>(06:32) Why close friendships are essential to happiness</p><p>(11:42) What a healthy friendship ecosystem looks like </p><p>(14:54) Aristotle’s three types of friendship</p><p>(23:57) Real friends vs. deal friends</p><p>(31:17) Friendship step #1: Give yourself a friendship checkup</p><p>(32:39) Friendship step #2: Identify the people who truly know you</p><p>(35:06) Friendship step #3: Go deep or go home</p><p>(38:24) Friendship step #4: Make more friends that you don’t need</p><p>(41:32) Q&A: Adjusting to home after a year abroad </p><p>(44:12) Q&A: Building better habits </p><p>—</p><p><strong>Referenced:</strong> </p><p>• <em>The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness</em>:<a href="http://themeaningofyourlife.com/"><u> </u></a><a href="http://themeaningofyourlife.com"><u>themeaningofyourlife.com</u></a></p><p>• Meaning Membership:<a href="https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership"><u> https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership</u></a> </p><p>• Arthur’s newsletter:<a href="https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter"><u> https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter</u></a> </p><p>• The Happiness Scale:<a href="https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale"><u> https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale</u></a> </p><p>• <em>The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks</em>:<a href="https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur"><u> https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur</u></a></p><p>• Why You Should Want to Be Alone: <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/07/hermit-solitude-benefits-happiness/678955"><u>https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/07/hermit-solitude-benefits-happiness/678955</u></a></p><p>• I Matter to My Friend, Therefore I am Happy: Friendship, Mattering, and Happiness: <a href="https://experts.nau.edu/en/publications/i-matter-to-my-friend-therefore-i-am-happy-friendship-mattering-a"><u>https://experts.nau.edu/en/publications/i-matter-to-my-friend-therefore-i-am-happy-friendship-mattering-a</u></a></p><p>• Friendship and personality as predictors of happiness: <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-006-9012-7"><u>https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-006-9012-7</u></a> </p><p>•The average American has three best friends: <a href="https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/friends-adults-american-how-to-friendship-difficulty-a8906861.html"><u>https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/friends-adults-american-how-to-friendship-difficulty-a8906861.html</u></a> </p><p>• Social Support, Social Strain, Loneliness, and Well-Being Among Older Adults: An Analysis of the Health and Retirement Study: <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-05698-001"><u>https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-05698-001</u></a></p><p>• ...References continued at: <a href="https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours</a></p><p>—</p><p>Production and marketing by <a href="https://penname.co/" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer">https://penname.co/</a>. </p>