Happy Slut

Content warning: Mentions of sexual assault and child sexual abuse.We live within a system that allows sexual abuse of all kinds to flourish without much accountability, and because of that, a lot of us carry deep trauma around sex and intimacy. Rachel (Rae) Halder is one of those people, and she's also a certified trauma resolution and erotic embodiment coach with over a decade of experience helping others heal the same wounds she's been working to heal within herself.This episode deals with some heavy themes, buuuut we also talk about the Italian hippie who worshipped Rae like a sun goddess...so it's not all doom and gloom. Hehe! This is Happy Slut, after all!In this episode:Rae's journey from childhood sexual abuse survivor to trauma resolution and erotic embodiment coachRecovering a repressed memory years after the abuse occurredWhy our nervous systems dissociate, freeze, and fawn during sexHow unprocessed trauma gets stored in the bodyThe devastating gray area of consensual encounters that become traumatic experiencesWhy some people intellectually want sex while their bodies experience it as unsafeThe surprising ways trauma can masquerade as asexualityGrowing up Mennonite and questioning patriarchal ideas about God, gender, and sexualityStarting a groundbreaking blog about sexual violence before the #MeToo movementThe Italian hippie who accidentally sparked Rae's sexual awakeningGoddess worship, tantra, and discovering what truly safe erotic connection feels likeChronic illness, interstitial cystitis, and the connection between trauma and the bodyWhy agency, autonomy, and choice are essential ingredients for healingThe difference between wanting sex and feeling safe enough to receive pleasureHow survivors can reclaim their sexuality without forcing themselves past their body's limitsWhat "erotic safety" actually meansWhy healing often happens more slowly—and more gently—than we want it toFOLLOW RAE HALDER:Website: https://www.raehalder.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel.rae.halderReal Sex Substack: https://realsex.substack.com/FOLLOW SAMIA & HAPPY SLUT:Samia's Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samia.mounts/Happy Slut on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happyslutcast/Happy Slut on TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@happyslutcastSUPPORT THE SHOW:Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.comVenmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-MountsCashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMountsEmail me your thoughts or pitches at [email protected]. I read every email!Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week.xoxo,SamiaMentioned in this episode:Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!Use code CLOSETED at check-out.Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Ali Bravo is a professional orgy organizer, a sex positive educator, a kinky leather artist, and a powerhouse force for destigmatizing kink, pleasure, and desire. When I met her in person a couple of weeks ago at Dixie De La Tour's Birthday Forgy (Friend Orgy), she was freshly resourced from her pre-party kink scene with one of her partners, a man who goes by the moniker Pleasure Wizard (and apparently REALLY lives up to that name!), and she was leading a group of 75 excited attendees through a consent and STI disclosure demo, capping it off with a proud announcement of her own positive herpes status. WHAT. A. BOSS.In this episode:What it actually takes to organize a 75-person orgyWhy Ali uses kinky “pre-care” scenes as a leadership tool before big eventsGrowing up fat, horny, and desperate for validationThe heartbreaking origins of Ali’s pleasure journeyDiscovering orgasm, restraint, and kink later in lifeWhy so many women struggle to stay connected to their bodies during sexHow patriarchy disconnects us from pleasureSTI disclosure, herpes stigma, and why “all the hotties have herpes”The hilariously absurd logistics of glory holes, Grope-a-Clown boxes, pussy pageants and cockstume contestsWhy whimsy, play, and crafts belong at sex partiesAli’s philosophy on polyamory, metamours, and “aurora partnerships”The difference between “platonic erotic” and “erotic platonic” relationshipsWhy getting railed is, apparently, a public health necessityBuilding chosen family through kink and sex-positive communityWhy everything you desire might actually be on the other side of fearREAD ALI's COMPREHENSIVE STI DISCLOSURE ARTICLE:https://momotaroapotheca.com/blogs/vaginal-wellness/talking-about-stis-how-to-have-clear-amp-caring-conversations-about-sexual-health?srsltid=AfmBOopWdLDADnQIP53Y-kY3VIm3_wZuU3z4BICMcfa2c6Fqp6lVOMAEFOLLOW ALI BRAVO:Ali's Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raptorbravo/Ali's Leather Working Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/raptrix/FOLLOW SAMIA & HAPPY SLUT:Samia's Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samia.mounts/Happy Slut on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happyslutcast/Happy Slut on TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@happyslutcastSUPPORT THE SHOW:Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.comVenmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-MountsCashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMountsEmail me your thoughts or pitches at [email protected]. I read every email!Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week.xoxo,SamiaMentioned in this episode:Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!Use code CLOSETED at check-out.Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Mila Jam is an international pop sensation, an artivist (activist + artist), a trans icon, a rising star, and somehow magically also my friend?!?!? How did life get so cool? Mila and I go deep in this conversation. We talk about gender, womanhood, dating, celibacy, the “boyfriend show,” patriarchal conditioning, trans visibility, intimacy, emotional labor, and why so many modern women are just…tired. Also: men will apparently fuck couches.In this episode:Mila’s journey from Southern Baptist kid to trans iconHow “the boyfriend show” can last yearsThe surprising freedom of celibacyWhy modern women are exhausted by menDating while trans in pre-social media NYCThe difference between being desired and being valuedGhosting, emotional cowardice, and modern dating cultureHow “women have out-menned men”Patriarchy, power, and emotional laborWhat women actually want from menHow to stop accepting breadcrumb relationshipsTrans womanhood, safety, intimacy, and visibilityThe healing power of women supporting womenWhy good treatment matters more than chemistry aloneFor ALL THINGS Mila: https://www.milajam.com/Listen to Mila's music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6m7wJXzvVyE0j6eef6pj1a?si=li_LtmpJSHaHoC99v78yIQ&nd=1&dlsi=8ce32e81b47b4973Watch Mila's iconic music videos: https://www.youtube.com/user/milajammusicFOLLOW MILA ON SOCIALS:https://www.instagram.com/themilajam/https://www.tiktok.com/@themilajamSUPPORT THE SHOW!Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.comVenmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-MountsCashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMountsEmail me your thoughts or pitches at [email protected]. I read every email!Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week.xoxo,SamiaMentioned in this episode:Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closetedGet a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

What if queerness was infinite, instead of limited by the strict rules and norms of our patriarchal world? What if we abandoned the binary of tops and bottoms, gays and straights, women and men, and embraced the idea--nay, the reality!--that all of us are fluid, ever-changing beings with deep wellsprings of desire and turn-on we would never know about if we didn't get curious and explore? I talk about all this and more with my guest this week, James Patrick Nelson, or as I call him, Jamie. In this episode: Why Jamie thinks the world would be better if more straight men got fucked in the assThe surprising emotional power of being sexually receptiveJamie’s chaotic, joyful anal debut story (yes, it involved a threesome)Why “top” and “bottom” are wildly insufficient ways to describe human desireThe queer loneliness of trying to fit into tiny little boxesHow the pandemic changed Jamie’s understanding of intimacy, beauty, and self-worthWhy joyful, consensual anal sex is still almost absent from mainstream mediaThe difference between humiliation and vulnerability—and why patriarchy confuses the twoJamie’s very horny origin story for wanting a tattooA sexy game for exes that honestly might fix modern datingWhy the best sex is often about feeling truly seen and worshippedThe making of Jamie’s sensual new indie film Something to Surprise MeHow queer people are reclaiming sexuality from shame, binaries, and bad storytellingAss worship, emotional intimacy, and the radical act of yielding with joySUPPORT SOMETHING TO SURPRISE ME ON SEED & SPARK: https://seedandspark.com/fund/something-to-surprise-me?token=4de1630be7d5a70c7cd806c60339bcf9a171bb0ac77ec1d99238fc1dbd4bc803#storyWATCH FOR YEARS TO COME: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=-Tu7iceWO2px5pPU&v=jMrHzo03fxE&feature=youtu.beALL THINGS JAMIE: https://www.james-patrick-nelson.com/SUPPORT THE SHOW, CUTIE PATOOT!Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.comVenmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-MountsCashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMountsThank you, pinecones! See ya next week.xoxo,SamiaMentioned in this episode:Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closetedGet a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

In this episode, I ask myself why, oh whyyy, am I so weird with women? I love them, I've known I'm attracted to them both sexually and romantically since I was a kid, and yet I've only managed to have one relationship with a woman that only lasted six weeks in college and otherwise have been a massive failure in the lady-dating department.And I'm not alone. I've heard lots of bisexual girlies talking about how they don't even feel like they can claim the bisexual label because they almost exclusively date and sleep with men. Most of the bi women I know feel they aren't "bi enough."In this episode:I’ve wanted women my whole life—and stayed silentOne intense, six-week relationship that blew me open…and shut me downWhy men feel “easier” (and what that says about me)The part I hate admitting: I’m the one getting in my own wayIs this a me problem…or a bi girl problem?And the twist I did NOT see comingRead the original essay on my Substack: https://samiamounts.substack.com/p/why-am-i-so-weird-with-womenScreen For Years to Come: https://james-patrick-nelson.com/for-years-to-comeSUPPORT THE SHOW, CUTIE PATOOT!Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.comVenmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-MountsCashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMountsThank you, pinecones! See ya next week.xoxo,SamiaMentioned in this episode:Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!Use code CLOSETED at check-out.Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted