Happy Slut

What if queerness was infinite, instead of limited by the strict rules and norms of our patriarchal world? What if we abandoned the binary of tops and bottoms, gays and straights, women and men, and embraced the idea--nay, the reality!--that all of us are fluid, ever-changing beings with deep wellsprings of desire and turn-on we would never know about if we didn't get curious and explore? I talk about all this and more with my guest this week, James Patrick Nelson, or as I call him, Jamie. In this episode: Why Jamie thinks the world would be better if more straight men got fucked in the assThe surprising emotional power of being sexually receptiveJamie’s chaotic, joyful anal debut story (yes, it involved a threesome)Why “top” and “bottom” are wildly insufficient ways to describe human desireThe queer loneliness of trying to fit into tiny little boxesHow the pandemic changed Jamie’s understanding of intimacy, beauty, and self-worthWhy joyful, consensual anal sex is still almost absent from mainstream mediaThe difference between humiliation and vulnerability—and why patriarchy confuses the twoJamie’s very horny origin story for wanting a tattooA sexy game for exes that honestly might fix modern datingWhy the best sex is often about feeling truly seen and worshippedThe making of Jamie’s sensual new indie film Something to Surprise MeHow queer people are reclaiming sexuality from shame, binaries, and bad storytellingAss worship, emotional intimacy, and the radical act of yielding with joySUPPORT SOMETHING TO SURPRISE ME ON SEED & SPARK: https://seedandspark.com/fund/something-to-surprise-me?token=4de1630be7d5a70c7cd806c60339bcf9a171bb0ac77ec1d99238fc1dbd4bc803#storyWATCH FOR YEARS TO COME: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=-Tu7iceWO2px5pPU&v=jMrHzo03fxE&feature=youtu.beALL THINGS JAMIE: https://www.james-patrick-nelson.com/SUPPORT THE SHOW, CUTIE PATOOT!Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.comVenmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-MountsCashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMountsThank you, pinecones! See ya next week.xoxo,SamiaMentioned in this episode:Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closetedGet a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

In this episode, I ask myself why, oh whyyy, am I so weird with women? I love them, I've known I'm attracted to them both sexually and romantically since I was a kid, and yet I've only managed to have one relationship with a woman that only lasted six weeks in college and otherwise have been a massive failure in the lady-dating department.And I'm not alone. I've heard lots of bisexual girlies talking about how they don't even feel like they can claim the bisexual label because they almost exclusively date and sleep with men. Most of the bi women I know feel they aren't "bi enough."In this episode:I’ve wanted women my whole life—and stayed silentOne intense, six-week relationship that blew me open…and shut me downWhy men feel “easier” (and what that says about me)The part I hate admitting: I’m the one getting in my own wayIs this a me problem…or a bi girl problem?And the twist I did NOT see comingRead the original essay on my Substack: https://samiamounts.substack.com/p/why-am-i-so-weird-with-womenScreen For Years to Come: https://james-patrick-nelson.com/for-years-to-comeSUPPORT THE SHOW, CUTIE PATOOT!Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.comVenmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-MountsCashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMountsThank you, pinecones! See ya next week.xoxo,SamiaMentioned in this episode:Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!Use code CLOSETED at check-out.Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Fox is a happily married parent with a normal work and home life...and a spicy social life with his kinky friends. Ooh la la!In this audio-only episode with Happy Slut's very first anonymous guest, we get into what happens when a self-described “regular Joe” follows his curiosity into the world of kink play and wildly honest connection—and finds out it sets him free.We talk about:The super-slow, podcast-fueled awakening that led him into kinkHow rope nights and kink clubs can foster communityThe surprisingly complex question: what even counts as sex?How he navigated opening things up with his wife (without blowing up his marriage)Why “you don’t have to have sex” was the gateway that made everything possibleThe ethics of play: communication, consent, and not being an absolute menaceHaving multiple play partners…and realizing you can actually do something about your crushesThe joy of helping people live out fantasies they never thought they’d get to experienceWhy exploration, curiosity, and emotional safety matter way more than labelsThis one is funny, thoughtful, unexpectedly wholesome, and just the right amount of chaotic.Basically: what if you could look like a regular person on the outside…and still be out here living your weird little dream life?Oh wait...that's you? Yeah, baby pinecone, that's ALL of us.Mentioned in this episode:Pink Kink Podcast: https://pinkkinkpodcast.com/The Kink Consultant Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920SUPPORT THE SHOW!Subscribe to Samia's Substack: https://samiamounts.substack.comVenmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-MountsCashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMountsI love you with the power of a thousand magic wands!xoxo,SamiaMentioned in this episode:Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closetedGet a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Callie Little is a polyamorous, pansexual witch who illustrated and co-authored my favorite tarot deck, Every Little Thing You Do is Magic, and its incredible companion book, which offers readers the opportunity to deepen their relationship with the cards and their own intuition. I reached out to them to replace two cards my dog had chewed up and they responded saying they checked out the pod and wanted to come on if I'd have them. IF I'D HAVE THEM?! I melted and exploded and said absolutely yes, thank you, Universe, and the results were glorious.In this episode:going from “I’ll try anything once” to… wait, I actually have standards now??why you don’t have to earn your desires or make them make sense to anyone elsethe difference between real connection and just doing what you think you’re supposed to dothe subtle ways patriarchy trains you to give up your autonomy and call it lovethat moment when something clicks and you’re like… oh, this isn’t a choice, this is a cagehow to stay open without ignoring every red flag in front of your facea definition of cheating that might rearrange your brain a littlewhat it actually looks like to be yourself first, even in a long-term relationshiphow to stop spiraling in shame and start getting curious insteadwhy you keep wanting people who aren’t that great for you (and what that’s really about)building relationships based on choice instead of fear, obligation, or habita recurring theme: you’re allowed to want what you want. yes, even that.also:tarot as a tool for figuring your shit out (more useful than you think)book recs that will absolutely mess with your understanding of love in a good wayIt's SO GOOD, pinecones!FOLLOW CALLIE:Callie's Instagram: @goshcallieCallie's Substack: The Village WitchCallie's podcast: The Pocket Coven (apologies for calling it the Pocket Oracle in the episode!)Purchase the Every Little Thing You Do is Magic Tarot Deck and Companion BookBook Callie for tattoo workAll things Callie: www.callielittle.comBook & Substack recommendations in this episode:The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet HardyMatriarchal Blessing on Substack by Celeste DavisSpells for Transmuting Limerence Into Liberation by Yumi SakugawaLove in a F*cked Up World by Dean SpadePolysecure by Jessica FernPolywise by Jessica FernOpen Deeply by Kate LoreeAdult Braces by Lindy WestSUPPORT THE SHOW!Subscribe to Samia's SubstackVenmo: @Samia-MountsCashApp: $SamiaMountsLove ya, pinecones!xoxo,SamiaMentioned in this episode:Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closetedGet a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!Use code CLOSETED at check-out.Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Her Confidant is Australia's only female-led male escort agency, serving all of Australia and now expanding to the United States. Owner Anna Grosman and anonymous escort Hudson chat with me about how therapeutic their clients find their services and how fulfilling it is to be a part of someone's most pleasurable moments.We cover:A 43-year-old virgin makes her sexual debut with Hudson in a hotel suite...and afterward, begins dating for the first time in her life.A couple rediscover their spark...by inviting Hudson and his girlfriend Sage to spend an evening with them getting naked under the stars.Hudson's tragic back story, and how he used it as a catalyst for his own authenticity and growth.Anna's deeply hot back story, and how she realized not everyone was getting down with their spouses the way she was, and the women of hte world needed help!What a difference it makes when a man is able to be fully present with a woman, to really listen to her and attune to her emotions. It is, literally, what will get you laid. Andrew Tate's got it ALL WRONG.This is a really fun convo, pinecones! I hope you dig it! Send me an email at [email protected] if you have comments, questions, or concerns. I love to hear from you.Visit herconfidant.com.au for more on Her Confidant.See Hudson's profile on Her Confidant. It's SO good. *fans herself*Follow Samia on Instagram @samia.mountsFollow Happy Slut on Instagram and Tiktok @happyslutcastEmail your comments, questions, dreams and wishes to [email protected] THE SHOW WITH YOUR CUTE LITTLE SLUTTY DOLLARS!Venmo: @Samia-MountsCashApp: $SamiaMountsMentioned in this episode:Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closetedGet a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!Use code CLOSETED at check-out.