The Kevin Miller Podcast

I continue to research human communication and find the vast majority of everything we communicate is subjective. We are seldom discussing facts and right, wrong, black, white issues. They may feel so to us, but if pressed we’d need to admit that what we are arguing or advocating for is not fact. The topic or issue is not unanimously proven. But it’s efficient to just cite our perspective as truth. It takes time and effort to really understand and consider all sides. So I sat down with an expert on this concept. Wendy K. Smith has a PhD in organizational behavior from Harvard and is the Dana J. Johnson Professor of Management and faculty director of the Women’s Leadership Initiative at University of Delaware. She is an expert on organizational paradoxes, exploring how leaders and individuals effectively respond to contradictory, yet interdependent demands. She spends her time continually working to better manage the paradoxes of life that we all face. Wendy is co-author of the book,"Both/And Thinking: Embracing Creative Tensions to Solve Your Toughest Problems.” This topic is of utmost importance to me as I continue to see our world in conflict and people more isolated. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In your younger years, you may have thought about your future self. I always wanted to be 30 and I would envision what it would look and feel like. I ultimately became 30. There I was. But I did not arrive and become the ultimate “Kevin” at that point. Five years passed and I became 35 and thought about how far I had come since 30. And this continues happening. As of this recording I just turned 55. Five years from now I’ll be 60 and likely be amazed at how much I have grown and evolved past the 55 year old I am now. This is the focus of this episode.  I am back with Dr Benjamin Hardy. I have had Ben on this podcast six or seven times. His personal story is the lead in the first chapter of my book, “What Drives You.” Ben’s books on willpower, personality, and personal transformation have put him at the top of the human potential movement. Here I give focus to Ben’s book,  Be Your Future Self Now: The Science of Intentional Transformation. It was through Ben that I first heard the concept of, “End of history illusion”, where as I led off with, we look back with amazement at how far we have evolved from who we used to be, but we think who we are now is…who we are. Ben takes us through his research to see how we can open up our personal transformation if we will engage with the future self we are going to become and not only conceive of who we are today. Ben Hardy is an organizational psychologist and has devoted significant research to this issue and become a leading expert on the application of Future Self science. Ben’s new book, Be Your Future Self Now, can be found everywhere and you can connect with him at benjaminhardy.com.  Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve likely heard the parable of two brothers with an alcoholic dad. One brother becomes an alcoholic, blaming his father and stating, "What else could I do?” While the other brother becomes a teetotaler, blaming his father and stating, "I watched my dad, and don’t want to end up like him.” We all have things that happen in our lives, and we create a story about it, based around a perspective we think is true. We attach meaning, and we believe it. Even though we often change our perspective later. What would it be like if we questioned our perspective to begin with? A few years ago I sat down with Kindra Hall to discuss this. Kindra is a Wall Street Journal best-selling author, international speaker, and the former Chief Storytelling Officer of SUCCESS Magazine. She wrote a book titled, Choose Your Story, Change Your Life: Silence Your Inner Critic and Rewrite Your Life from the Inside Out, which was my muse for our conversation. As you’re about to hear, this isn’t some Pollyanna positivity motivation. The point is to reveal how we are not writing about facts, but perspectives, and if we accept this, we can free ourselves. Find Kindra’s book anywhere and connect with her at kindrahall.com. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we talk a lot about running. But I want to expand it to all of you who spend a good amount of time outside in the elements. This isn’t a discussion to should on anyone, but just to share the value we’ve found in going outside, year around, braving the elements and the discomforts of our own bodies. What we gain, what we learn. So if you ride a bike, hike, swim, even walk, I think you’ll resonate with this discussion and possibly expand your joy in getting outside. My guest is Nicholas Thompson, well known as CEO of The Atlantic, an American magazine founded in 1857, which earned the top honor for magazines, General Excellence, at the National Magazine Awards in both 2022 and 2023. I’ve had multiple writers for The Atlantic on this podcast, such as Arthur Brooks and Charles Duhigg, both of whom have appeared here twice. Before joining The Atlantic, Nick was the editor-in-chief of Wired magazine and a contributor for CBS News. Nick has long been a competitive runner and in 2021, he set the American record for men 45+ in the 50K race. Nick just came out with a new book, The Running Ground: A Father, a Son, and the Simplest of Sports. In it, Nick shares his relationship with running, pushing himself, overcoming a challenging father, the death of his father, his own bout with cancer, dealing with obsessions, and why in the hiring process he looks for people’s ability to suffer for an end goal. I took the opportunity to commiserate with Nicholas on the joys of our devotion to going outside pretty much every day, to exert ourselves, and how the effort gives us a different experience of life. I think more so in today’s culture than ever where we tend to both stay inside more, and avoid any discomforts more. Again, I think those of you who do such things will find this talk confirming, and for those of you who don’t, I hope it will give more breadth to your thoughts about getting out and getting your heart rate up. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s culture I feel we have conflated beliefs with facts. I view us as a culture at war with our perspectives. We are seldom arguing about literal facts. Look at the news headlines, social media, and any reporting entity and you find great polarization and emotion around issues. And what is generally being debated is again, not fact, but belief. Belief we grow to thinking is actually fact, even when it can’t be. Why? My guest cites how we so often attach our beliefs to our identity. Then if the belief is questioned, your very identity is being questioned. Think about this. Have you ever heard someone say, “I tend to vote for Democrats, I align with a Catholic faith, I eat vegan, and I run a lot for exercise.” No. Listen to how we say it; “I’m a democrat, I’m a Catholic, I’m a vegan, and I’m a runner.” I am. It’s not my belief, it’s who I am. So let’s talk about what this is doing to us. My guest is cognitive scientist Andy Norman. Or let me rephrase that. My guest is Andy Norman who works as lot in cognitive science. Andy is an award-winning author of Mental Immunity: Infectious Ideas, Mind-Parasites, and the Search for a Better Way to Think. His research is on the emerging science of mental immunity as the antidote to disinformation, propaganda, hate, and division. Andy strives to help people develop immunity to bad ideas. As you’ll hear, my focus is really on the harm we do to ourselves and others when we are so rigid in our beliefs we won’t consider anyone who differs. As I already mentioned, Andy showcases how many, if not most of our beliefs, are more tied to our self-image than truth, and how this hurts us and everyone else. It’s ok to have strong beliefs, but if you feel strong in them and it’s not just to support your personal bias, then wouldn’t you be strong enough to allow someone to explain their differing beliefs and actually seek to understand them? My interest is around connection and peace instead of the conflict we continually see in our culture. Andy directs the Humanism Initiative at Carnegie Mellon University and you can find him at andynorman.org. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices