Most people think having a voice means talking more. It doesn’t. AJ sits down with former Harvard Law lecturer Elaine Lin Hering to explore why so many capable people stay silent at work, in relationships, and in life — even when that silence comes at a cost. From people-pleasing and perfectionism to psychological safety, leadership, and self-advocacy, Elaine explains why silence is often learned, reinforced by our environments, and mistaken for professionalism. This episode offers a practical framework for speaking up without becoming someone you’re not — and why finding your voice has less to do with volume and more to do with expressing your perspective, needs, and expertise. Chapters 00:00 – Why capable people stay silent07:00 – Speaking up without becoming someone else14:00 – The hidden role of environment and leadership22:00 – People-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-silencing30:00 – High-stakes conversations and finding your voice40:00 – The cost calculator: when to speak up47:00 – The 4-step process for using your voice55:00 – The 3 levers of influence beyond speaking louder communication skills, self-advocacy, leadership, psychological safety, people pleasing, perfectionism, confidence, workplace communication, difficult conversations, emotional intelligence, speaking up, career growth, influence, self expression, professional development, workplace culture, introverts, relationships, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices