Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption & Foster Care

Have you ever considered being a foster parent but thought that it was just too hard? You need to listen to this podcast with a group of experienced foster parents sharing the joys of being a foster parent.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why did you become a foster parent?
• We talk a lot about the challenges of fostering because we want people to go into it with realistic expectations, but we also need to talk about the many joys you have experienced as a foster parent. Let’s go around round-robin style to share some of the joys.
• Does the pain of when a child leaves outweigh the joys?
• Does it bother you that many of the children you love and care for won’t remember you?
• How to build a support system.

Question: My husband and I have been matched with a mom expecting twins any day now. One topic that was a particular stress point for us that we found difficult finding resources on was the logistics of flying/traveling with a true newborn, let alone two, and handling the waiting period for ICPC (Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children). We're working with a national agency and in our particular case, we live in Texas and our twins are being born in New York. We have a lot of questions.

• Is it better to fly or drive?
• Weighing the risk of communicable disease in an airport vs the risk of driving cross-country while sleep deprived
• What the options if flying - carseat, plane bassinet, or carrying the infant?
• How to travel and feed the infant - powdered or pre-mixed formula?
• What is needed for the stay away from home while waiting for ICPC?

Resources:

Join us to talk about the very important topic of youth suicide. Our guest will be Dr. Angela Tunno, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Assistant Professor at Duke University Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science. One of her areas of specialty is trauma-informed suicide prevention.

In this episode, we cover:

• Suicide is one of the leading causes of preventable death in the US. 
• How prevalent is suicide in the US for all ages?
• How common is suicide for people under 21? 
• How common is suicide for children and youth in foster care or otherwise connected to child welfare?
• Why are youth in foster care at greater risk for suicide?
• What are some warning signs that a child or youth may be considering suicide?
• What are the risk factors for a youth or child who may be at greater danger of suicide?
• Are youth with other diagnoses more at risk for suicide? (For example, ADHD?)
• Who is in the position when a child is in foster care to recognize these signs? 
• If you are worried that a child/youth may be contemplating suicide, what are the evidence-based steps you should take? How to be trauma-informed when helping to prevent a child or youth from committing suicide? 
• Get support or therapy for yourself to help you cope and to help you support the youth better.
• When should we take the youth to the hospital?

Resources

Question: I was the one who wanted to adopt.  My husband agreed because I wanted it so bad, but now, I’m the one who wishes we hadn’t done it. We adopted a 5-year-old little girl, who is now 7.  The awful truth is that I don’t love this child. I don’t even like her very much. I wish I could turn back the clock.

Resources:

Are you confused about having an open adoption? Do you worry about what this means for your family. Join us today to talk about open adoption with Sara Easterly, an adoptee, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, a birth parent, and Lori Holden, an adoptive parent. In addition to co-authoring the book, "Adoption Unfiltered", they host a podcast of the same name.

In this episode, we cover:

• What is meant by the term “open adoption”?
• Contact vs. openness.
• What open adoption is not:
  • Co-parenting
  • A courtesy to birth parents
  • Confusing to the kids
  • About/for the parents
• What are some of the challenges of open adoption from the birth parents’ perspective?
  • Lack of understanding of what open adoption means when they place their child.
  • Renewed pain after each contact
  • Two vs. one
  • Lack of power
  • Fear
• What are some of the challenges of open adoption from the adoptive parents’ perspective?
• What are some of the challenges of open adoption from the adoptee's standpoint?
• What are some of the benefits of open adoption from the adoptee’s perspective?
• What are some benefits of open adoption from the birth parent’s perspective?
• What are some of the benefits of open adoption for adoptive parents?
• How to establish healthy boundaries with an open adoption, including both ways.
  • Examples of healthy boundaries from the adoptive parents’ perspective.
  • Examples of healthy boundaries from the birth parents’ perspective.
  • Examples of healthy boundaries from the adoptee standpoint.
  • Keys to establishing healthy boundaries.
• How do you handle “openness” when birth parents are unreliable?
• How to maintain an attitude of openness or the spirit of openness without contact.
• Importance of birth siblings. How the existence of children that the birth parents are parenting affects adopted children.
• Allow space for change and growth on all sides of the adoption constellation: birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees.