A leader is getting pressured to stop being so prickly and gain some humility. With her coach, she explores whether it’s even possible for humility to ever be a strength.  Core concepts in this episode:<ul><li>Humility is confidence without defensiveness.</li><li>Assess yourself on the humility scale. “How do I respond to challenges?”</li><li>Humble leaders are confident in their authority.</li><li>Ask frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?”</li><li>Humility requires active listening.</li></ul> Questions addressed in this episode:&gt; Are humble leaders perceived as weak?Some people may see humble leaders as weak, but humble leaders are actually confident in their authority. &gt; If humble leaders need confidence, will they be seen as arrogant?No, because humble leaders do not fight for dominance. They invite the opinions of others and are non-defensive when challenged. &gt; How can I tell whether I am humble?Ask yourself, “When I am challenged, what feelings do I experience?” Leaders who respond non-defensively are high in humility. &gt; What practices can I adopt to develop more humility?Ask yourself frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?&quot; &gt; What are the benefits to being a humble leader?Your team will experience psychological safety and move towards high performance. Resources mentioned in this episode:<a href='https://www.amazon.com/Humbitious-Power-Low-Ego-High-Drive-Leadership/dp/177458073X'>Humbitious:</a> The Power of Low-Ego, High-Drive Leadership by Amer Kaissi explores how to be both ambitious and humble.  Links for coaches:Join Tom and a community of coaches at the <a href='https://www.icfla.org/special-interest-groups-2/'>Executive Coaching Special Interest Group.</a> The <a href='https://www.icfla.org/'>Los Angeles Chapter</a> of International Coach Federation offers countless opportunities for CCEs and community building. If you’re in the L.A. area, join the ICF-LA March Chapter meeting. And be sure to say ‘hi’ to Tom! <a href='https://www.icfla.org/c3-chapter-events/'>Register here.</a> Each month, we share additional tools in our monthly email.  If you’d like to explore Private Coaching with Tom, reach out to him at: <a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'>tom@essentialcomm.com</a>. This episode is tagged in three categories in our <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'>podcast library</a>:<a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=executive-presence#search-content'>Executive Presence</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=leadership#search-content'>Leadership</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=personal-growth-self-development#search-content'>Personal Growth &amp; Self-Development</a> Related Episodes:<a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/achieving-authenticity/'>122 - Achieving Authenticity</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/building-empathy/'>146 - Building Empathy</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/building-listening/'>248 - Building Listening </a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-guarantee-psychological-safety/'>260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/unlocking-executive-presence-through-emotional-intelligence/'>232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence</a> Thank you so much for your reviews! From <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'>The Look &amp; Sound of Leadership</a>

<description>&lt;p&gt;A leader is getting pressured to stop being so prickly and gain some humility. With her coach, she explores whether it’s even possible for humility to ever be a strength. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Core concepts in this episode:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Humility is confidence without defensiveness.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Assess yourself on the humility scale. “How do I respond to challenges?”&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Humble leaders are confident in their authority.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Ask frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?”&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Humility requires active listening.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Questions addressed in this episode:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;gt; Are humble leaders perceived as weak?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Some people may see humble leaders as weak, but humble leaders are actually confident in their authority.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;gt; If humble leaders need confidence, will they be seen as arrogant?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;No, because humble leaders do not fight for dominance. They invite the opinions of others and are non-defensive when challenged.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;gt; How can I tell whether I am humble?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask yourself, “When I am challenged, what feelings do I experience?” Leaders who respond non-defensively are high in humility.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;gt; What practices can I adopt to develop more humility?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ask yourself frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;gt; What are the benefits to being a humble leader?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your team will experience psychological safety and move towards high performance.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Resources mentioned in this episode:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.amazon.com/Humbitious-Power-Low-Ego-High-Drive-Leadership/dp/177458073X'&gt;Humbitious:&lt;/a&gt; The Power of Low-Ego, High-Drive Leadership by Amer Kaissi explores how to be both ambitious and humble. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Links for coaches:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Join Tom and a community of coaches at the &lt;a href='https://www.icfla.org/special-interest-groups-2/'&gt;Executive Coaching Special Interest Group.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The &lt;a href='https://www.icfla.org/'&gt;Los Angeles Chapter&lt;/a&gt; of International Coach Federation offers countless opportunities for CCEs and community building.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you’re in the L.A. area, join the ICF-LA March Chapter meeting. And be sure to say ‘hi’ to Tom! &lt;a href='https://www.icfla.org/c3-chapter-events/'&gt;Register here.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Each month, we share additional tools in our monthly email. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;If you’d like to explore Private Coaching with Tom, reach out to him at: &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'&gt;&lt;b&gt;tom@essentialcomm.com&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt;.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;This episode is tagged in three categories in our &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'&gt;&lt;b&gt;podcast library&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt;:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=executive-presence#search-content'&gt;Executive Presence&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=leadership#search-content'&gt;Leadership&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=personal-growth-self-development#search-content'&gt;Personal Growth &amp;amp; Self-Development&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Related Episodes:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/achieving-authenticity/'&gt;122 - Achieving Authenticity&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/building-empathy/'&gt;146 - Building Empathy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/building-listening/'&gt;248 - Building Listening &lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-guarantee-psychological-safety/'&gt;260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/unlocking-executive-presence-through-emotional-intelligence/'&gt;232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Thank you so much for your reviews!&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;From &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Look &amp;amp; Sound of Leadership&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>

A leader is getting pressured to stop being so prickly and gain some humility. With her coach, she explores whether it’s even possible for humility to ever be a strength.    Core concepts in this episode: Humility is confidence without defensiveness.Assess yourself on the humility scale. “How do I respond to challenges?”Humble leaders are confident in their authority.Ask frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?”Humility requires active listening.  Questions addressed in this episode...

Humility as Strength

A chief officer is infuriated by the behavior of his egomaniacal CEO. With his coach, he explores how to be a healthy leader while reporting to a boss he doesn’t respect.Core concepts in this episode:<ul><li>Egomaniacs rattle our sense of self.</li><li>They will not change.</li><li>Worrying does not help.</li><li>Be accountable for how you show up. Manage yourself.</li><li>Don’t take anything personally. They’re just a piece on a chess board.</li><li>Ask yourself: “Am I seeing this person clearly?” Don’t allow emotions to drive your actions.</li><li>Ask yourself: “How do I want to show up?” You have choice about what you prioritize and how you react in the workplace.</li></ul> Resources mentioned in this episode:<a href='https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Tools-Talking-Stakes/dp/1260474216/'>Crucial Conversations</a> provides scripts and thoughts that will help you manage yourself when dealing with difficult people.  Tom and host Dave Stachowiak discussed “How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk” on this <a href='https://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/164/'>episode</a> of Coaching for Leaders. Great tools if you have a challenging boss. Before sharing your reactions in the workplace, consider the politics around you. These two episodes will get you “Leading with Political Savvy” Parts <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/leading-with-political-savvy-part-one/'>1</a> and <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/leading-with-political-savvy-part-two/'>2.</a>   Each month, there are additional <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/tools/'>tools</a> in our monthly email.  If you’d like to explore Private Coaching, reach out to Tom. <a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'>tom@essentialcomm.com</a>. This episode is tagged in three categories in our <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'>podcast library</a>:<a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=managing-yourself'>Managing Yourself</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=leadership#search-content'>Leadership</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=perception-how-you-perceive-others#search-content'>Perception – How You Perceive Others</a> RELATED EPISODES<a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/5-strategies-for-dealing-with-narcissists/'>239- 5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/dont-take-anything-personally/'>189 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally”</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/giving-upward-feedback/'>245- Giving Upward Feedback</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/gravitas/'>114- Gravitas</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/the-narcissistic-executive/'>133- The Narcissist Executive</a> Thank you, thank you, thank you for your reviews! Wishing you a year of growth and development!  From <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'>The Look &amp; Sound of Leadership</a> team, thank you so much for listening.

<description>&lt;p&gt;A chief officer is infuriated by the behavior of his egomaniacal CEO. With his coach, he explores how to be a healthy leader while reporting to a boss he doesn’t respect.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Core concepts in this episode:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Egomaniacs rattle our sense of self.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;They will not change.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Worrying does not help.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Be accountable for how you show up. Manage yourself.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Don’t take anything personally. They’re just a piece on a chess board.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Ask yourself: “Am I seeing this person clearly?” Don’t allow emotions to drive your actions.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Ask yourself: “How do I want to show up?” You have choice about what you prioritize and how you react in the workplace.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Resources mentioned in this episode:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Tools-Talking-Stakes/dp/1260474216/'&gt;&lt;em&gt;Crucial Conversations&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; provides scripts and thoughts that will help you manage yourself when dealing with difficult people. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Tom and host Dave Stachowiak discussed “How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk” on this &lt;a href='https://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/164/'&gt;episode&lt;/a&gt; of Coaching for Leaders. Great tools if you have a challenging boss.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Before sharing your reactions in the workplace, consider the politics around you. These two episodes will get you “Leading with Political Savvy” Parts &lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/leading-with-political-savvy-part-one/'&gt;1&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/leading-with-political-savvy-part-two/'&gt;2.&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Each month, there are additional &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/tools/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;tools&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt; in our monthly email. &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;If you’d like to explore Private Coaching, reach out to Tom. &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'&gt;&lt;b&gt;tom@essentialcomm.com&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt;.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;This episode is tagged in three categories in our &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'&gt;&lt;b&gt;podcast library&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt;:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=managing-yourself'&gt;Managing Yourself&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=leadership#search-content'&gt;Leadership&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=perception-how-you-perceive-others#search-content'&gt;Perception – How You Perceive Others&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;RELATED EPISODES&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/5-strategies-for-dealing-with-narcissists/'&gt;239- 5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/dont-take-anything-personally/'&gt;189 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally”&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/giving-upward-feedback/'&gt;245- Giving Upward Feedback&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/gravitas/'&gt;114- Gravitas&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/the-narcissistic-executive/'&gt;133- The Narcissist Executive&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Thank you, thank you, thank you for your reviews!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Wishing you a year of growth and development! &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Look &amp;amp; Sound of Leadership&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; team, thank you so much for listening. &lt;/p&gt;</description>

A chief officer is infuriated by the behavior of his egomaniacal CEO. With his coach, he explores how to be a healthy leader while reporting to a boss he doesn’t respect. Core concepts in this episode: Egomaniacs rattle our sense of self.They will not change.Worrying does not help.Be accountable for how you show up. Manage yourself.Don’t take anything personally. They’re just a piece on a chess board.Ask yourself: “Am I seeing this person clearly?” Don’t allow emotions to drive your actions.A...

Leading When Ego at the Top Is Unchecked

A senior vice-president worries that attention on his people’s development will get overwhelmed in the volume of work. He asks his coach for tools to make the process effective and efficient.  Download our <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/EC-Growth-Conversation-Map.pdf'>free tool</a> that maps the Three Conversations Development Plan. Core Concepts Prioritizing professional development is hard.The 3-Conversation model makes development easy for the leader and meaningful for the person.The three conversations in summary: <ol><li>Define ‘what,’ ‘why’ and give homework;</li><li>The person reflects on the homework and how they plan to improve;</li><li>Periodic check-ins about the homework. ‘What are you learning?’</li></ol> The leader’s role in these conversations: <ul><li>Clarify the ‘what’ and ‘why’ </li><li>Listen and encourage</li><li>Ask, ‘What are you learning?’</li></ul> You can <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/newsletter/'>sign-up</a> for more resources and tools in our monthly email.  If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. <a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'>tom@essentialcomm.com</a>. This episode is tagged in three categories in our <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'>podcast library</a>:<a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=feedback'>Feedback</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=leadership'>Leadership</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=management-skills'>Management Skills</a> RELATED EPISODES<a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/coaching-your-people/'>132  Coaching Your People</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-coach-your-people/'>212  How to Coach Your People</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-manage-defensive-people/'>258  How to Manage Defensive People</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/leadership-and-listening/'>83  Leadership and Listening</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/understanding-feedback/'>206  Understanding Feedback</a> Thanks, as always, for your reviews!Happy holidays.  Until next time, thanks so much for listening. From <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'>The Look &amp; Sound of Leadership</a> team

<description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;A senior vice-president worries that attention on his people’s development will get overwhelmed in the volume of work. He asks his coach for tools to make the process effective and efficient. &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Download our &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/EC-Growth-Conversation-Map.pdf'&gt;&lt;b&gt;free tool&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt; that maps the Three Conversations Development Plan.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Core Concepts &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Prioritizing professional development is hard.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The 3-Conversation model makes development easy for the leader and meaningful for the person.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;The three conversations in summary: &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ol&gt;&lt;li&gt;Define ‘what,’ ‘why’ and give homework;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;The person reflects on the homework and how they plan to improve;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Periodic check-ins about the homework. ‘What are you learning?’&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;The leader’s role in these conversations: &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Clarify the ‘what’ and ‘why’ &lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Listen and encourage&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Ask, ‘What are you learning?’&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;You can &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/newsletter/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;sign-up&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt; for more resources and tools in our monthly email. &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'&gt;&lt;b&gt;tom@essentialcomm.com&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt;.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;This episode is tagged in three categories in our &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'&gt;&lt;b&gt;podcast library&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt;:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=feedback'&gt;&lt;b&gt;Feedback&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=leadership'&gt;&lt;b&gt;Leadership&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=management-skills'&gt;&lt;b&gt;Management Skills&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;RELATED EPISODES&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/coaching-your-people/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;132  Coaching Your People&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-coach-your-people/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;212  How to Coach Your People&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-manage-defensive-people/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;258  How to Manage Defensive People&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/leadership-and-listening/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;83  Leadership and Listening&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/understanding-feedback/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;206  Understanding Feedback&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Thanks, as always, for your reviews!&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Happy holidays. &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Until next time, thanks so much for listening.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;From &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Look &amp;amp; Sound of Leadership&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt; team &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt; &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>

A senior vice-president worries that attention on his people’s development will get overwhelmed in the volume of work. He asks his coach for tools to make the process effective and efficient.    Download our free tool that maps the Three Conversations Development Plan.   Core Concepts  Prioritizing professional development is hard. The 3-Conversation model makes development easy for the leader and meaningful for the person. The three conversations in summary:  Define ‘what,’ ‘w...

How to Grow Your People

After a leader turns around the performance of one of his direct reports, he and his coach explore how it happened. And how to make it stick.   Core ideas in the episode:<ul><li>Workplaces improve when positive feedback is present</li><li>Our natural human negative bias is a barrier to giving positive feedback.</li><li>Learn to notice when things go well.</li><li>Tell people how they are helping solve the puzzle that is work.</li><li>Research says the most effective feedback ratio is 4-to-1, positive to developmental.</li></ul> Positive Feedback might sound like this:<ol><li>Recognize what’s going well – and be specific</li><li>Appreciate how it’s helping solve the puzzle</li><li>Express your thanks</li></ol> Developmental Feedback might sound like this:<ol><li>Describe what happened – and be specific</li><li>Explain how it affects the puzzle solving effort</li><li>Express your hope for a different outcome</li></ol> You can <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/newsletter/'>Sign-up</a> for more resources and tools in our monthly email.  If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. <a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'>tom@essentialcomm.com</a>. This episode is tagged in three categories in our <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'>podcast library</a>:<a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=managing-yourself#search-content'>Managing Yourself</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=perception-how-you-perceive-others'>Perception – How You Perceive Others</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=relationship-building'>Relationship Building</a> Related episodes to listen to are:<a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/building-empathy/'>146 - Building Empathy</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/creating-devoted-followers/'>119 - Creating Devoted Followers</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-coach-your-people/'>212 - How to Coach Your People</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-deepen-relationships-at-work/'>255 - How to Deepen Relationships at Work</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-guarantee-psychological-safety/'>260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety</a> Thanks, as always, for your reviews!Until next time, thanks so much for listening.From <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'>The Look &amp; Sound of Leadership</a> team

<description>&lt;p&gt;After a leader turns around the performance of one of his direct reports, he and his coach explore how it happened. And how to make it stick.  &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Core ideas in the episode:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Workplaces improve when positive feedback is present&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Our natural human negative bias is a barrier to giving positive feedback.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Learn to notice when things go well.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Tell people how they are helping solve the puzzle that is work.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Research says the most effective feedback ratio is 4-to-1, positive to developmental.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Positive Feedback might sound like this:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ol&gt;&lt;li&gt;Recognize what’s going well – and be specific&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Appreciate how it’s helping solve the puzzle&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Express your thanks&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Developmental Feedback might sound like this:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ol&gt;&lt;li&gt;Describe what happened – and be specific&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Explain how it affects the puzzle solving effort&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Express your hope for a different outcome&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;You can &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/newsletter/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;Sign-up&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt; for more resources and tools in our monthly email. &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'&gt;&lt;b&gt;tom@essentialcomm.com&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt;.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;This episode is tagged in three categories in our &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'&gt;&lt;b&gt;podcast library&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt;:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=managing-yourself#search-content'&gt;Managing Yourself&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=perception-how-you-perceive-others'&gt;Perception – How You Perceive Others&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=relationship-building'&gt;Relationship Building&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Related episodes to listen to are:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/building-empathy/'&gt;146 - Building Empathy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/creating-devoted-followers/'&gt;119 - Creating Devoted Followers&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-coach-your-people/'&gt;212 - How to Coach Your People&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-deepen-relationships-at-work/'&gt;255 - How to Deepen Relationships at Work&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/how-to-guarantee-psychological-safety/'&gt;260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Thanks, as always, for your reviews!&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Until next time, thanks so much for listening.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Look &amp;amp; Sound of Leadership&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; team &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt; &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>

After a leader turns around the performance of one of his direct reports, he and his coach explore how it happened. And how to make it stick.     Core ideas in the episode: Workplaces improve when positive feedback is presentOur natural human negative bias is a barrier to giving positive feedback.Learn to notice when things go well.Tell people how they are helping solve the puzzle that is work.Research says the most effective feedback ratio is 4-to-1, positive to developmental.  Positive...

How to Motivate and Inspire

A toxic boss destroys psychological safety on her team. One of her direct reports talks to his coach about how to survive. And how to keep his own team safe.  Core ideas in the episode:<ul><li>Don’t take other people’s bad behavior personally.</li><li>You are not a victim. You have choice.</li><li>Document repeated bad behavior.</li><li>Openly discussing mistakes without blame creates safety on a team.</li><li>As the leader, be willing to admit your own mistakes.</li><li>Ask people: “How do you think that went?” and “What could we do differently?” Then listen without debate or rebuttal.</li></ul> A free infographic supports this episode. Download it <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/EC-psychological-safety.pdf'>here. </a> The episode referred to about creating strong personal relationships is:<a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/personal-connections/'>#199 Personal Connections.</a> <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/newsletter/'>Sign-up</a>  for monthly resources and tools in our monthly email.  Curious about coaching for yourself or someone on your team? Let’s talk. <a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'>tom@essentialcomm.com</a>. COACHES! Want to see this year’s pricing survey results? Pop me an email at: <a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'>tom@essentialcomm.com</a>. And come join the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check it out <a href='https://www.icfla.org/special-interest-groups-2/'>here.</a> Get additional tools for keeping yourself and your team psychologically safe in our <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'>podcast library</a> in these three categories: <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=assertiveness#search-content'>Assertiveness</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=leadership#search-content'>Leadership</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=managing-yourself#search-content'>Managing Yourself</a> Additional episodes to listen to are:<a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/agreeable-disagreement/'>187 - Agreeable Disagreement</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/assertion-versus-aggression/'>70 - Assertion Versus Aggression</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/dont-take-anything-personally/'>&quot;75 - Don’t Take Anything Personally”</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/the-conflict-conversation/'>222- The Conflict Conversation</a><a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/inviting-dialogue/'>181 - Inviting Dialogue</a> Your reviews help the show stay ad-free.  Until next time, thanks! From <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'>The Look &amp; Sound of Leadership</a> team

<description>&lt;p&gt;A toxic boss destroys psychological safety on her team. One of her direct reports talks to his coach about how to survive. And how to keep his own team safe. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Core ideas in the episode:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Don’t take other people’s bad behavior personally.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;You are not a victim. You have choice.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Document repeated bad behavior.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Openly discussing mistakes without blame creates safety on a team.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;As the leader, be willing to admit your own mistakes.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Ask people: “How do you think that went?” and “What could we do differently?” Then listen without debate or rebuttal.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;A free infographic supports this episode. Download it &lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/EC-psychological-safety.pdf'&gt;here. &lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The episode referred to about creating strong personal relationships is:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/personal-connections/'&gt;#199 Personal Connections.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/newsletter/'&gt;Sign-up&lt;/a&gt;  for monthly resources and tools in our monthly email. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Curious about coaching for yourself or someone on your team? Let’s talk. &lt;a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'&gt;tom@essentialcomm.com&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;COACHES! Want to see this year’s pricing survey results? Pop me an email at: &lt;a href='mailto:tom@essentialcomm.com?subject=contact%20from%20show%20notes'&gt;tom@essentialcomm.com&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;And come join the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check it out &lt;a href='https://www.icfla.org/special-interest-groups-2/'&gt;here.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Get additional tools for keeping yourself and your team psychologically safe in our &lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'&gt;podcast library&lt;/a&gt; in these three categories:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=assertiveness#search-content'&gt;Assertiveness&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=leadership#search-content'&gt;Leadership&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/?_sft_post_tag=managing-yourself#search-content'&gt;Managing Yourself&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Additional episodes to listen to are:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/agreeable-disagreement/'&gt;187 - Agreeable Disagreement&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/assertion-versus-aggression/'&gt;70 - Assertion Versus Aggression&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/dont-take-anything-personally/'&gt;&amp;quot;75 - Don’t Take Anything Personally”&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/the-conflict-conversation/'&gt;222- The Conflict Conversation&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/inviting-dialogue/'&gt;181 - Inviting Dialogue&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Your reviews help the show stay ad-free. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Until next time, thanks!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;From &lt;a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast'&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Look &amp;amp; Sound of Leadership&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt; team &lt;/p&gt;</description>

A toxic boss destroys psychological safety on her team. One of her direct reports talks to his coach about how to survive. And how to keep his own team safe.    Core ideas in the episode: Don’t take other people’s bad behavior personally.You are not a victim. You have choice.Document repeated bad behavior.Openly discussing mistakes without blame creates safety on a team.As the leader, be willing to admit your own mistakes.Ask people: “How do you think that went?” and “What could we do di...

How to Guarantee Psychological Safety

An ongoing series of Executive Coaching Tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.

The Look & Sound of Leadership

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