Zombie Radio Show

Heyyy, Jazz Fans! Jimmy Rudolph here! I know I’m supposed to lay down some smooth jazz on you right now, but I can’t stop screaming! WZMB is under siege by ninja zombies! I kid you not! As sure as there are zombies, there are ninja zombies, and as sure as there are ninja zombies, there are a whole squad of ninja zombies right outside my sound proof door. I know, I know, I’ve said this before when I wanted to get on New York 1, but this time I mean it! Zombies with veils and sais doing triple somersaults over the bodies of the dead WZMB security team. I suppose we’ll have to pay for those funerals. But at least we’ll have to pay for mine. Still don’t believe me? Click the video below and see for yourself! It all started out so beautifully! I had uncovered rumors and innuendo regarding Trocador and the new Bar Code Zombies, and to verify, I bravely sent Melissa into harm’s way to get the substantiating documents. (I sent Craig the intern in, too, but that wasn’t bravery, that was common sense.) And I had those rotten bastards that sponsor the show right where I wanted them. But now, in a horrific turn of events, the zombie ninjas have me just where they want me– cowering in my studio, hoping like hell that those sais can either pick locks or gut jazz DJs, but they can’t do both. I can’t look. And if you can’t look either, jazz fans, here’s an all-radio version of the horrific gore! https://zombieradioshow.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/wzmb-ep50-wicked-cool.mp3 I wonder what Miles Davis felt in his last few moments before the zombies got him. Oh, you’re telling me the zombies didn’t get him? That he just looks that way?! I guess you’re just trying to cheer me up, fans, but there’s no point. Even if I survive, who’s going to clean up the mess out there? I really wish J-Bo were here right now. She could always make me laugh. Plus, she kills zombies. And good with a mop, let’s not forget that…

Heyyyy, Jazz Fans! It’s your old pal Jimmy Rudolph here with the latest and greatest episode of Zombie Radio Show! This week’s episode started so nice, too, like a beautiful dream. There was a party. And you were there, and you were there, and you were there, and it was all about me. But then the dream turned dark and edgy when a strange phone call came in… Check out the YouTube video below. What do I know about zombie conspiracies like “Project Poison Pill” anyway? It’s not enough that I know about jazz greats like Philly Joe Jones? I work hard every day to keep important earth shattering conspiracies out of this precious brain. And then some shady caller phones it into my awareness. What do I do now, fans?! What the hell do I do now? This week’s episode is brought to you visually by the magic of the tube of You! But if you like your radio like you like your scotch– unblended and unpixellated– then you may prefer the radio only version of WZMB Zombie Radio Show Ep. 49. If so, click here! https://zombieradioshow.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/wzmb-ep49-project-poison-pill.mp3 It’s a dangerous world out there, Jazz Fans! But it can’t be so dangerous that we would allow our parties to become riddled with conspiracies, like maggots in a zombie. How are we supposed to retrieve our humanity after brutally slaying thousands of zombies if we can’t party like it’s the Apocalypse… which it is! Let the punch bowl remain the punch bowl! Don’t let it become a petri dish of intrigue and cloak and dagger ambition! Let it remain the overly sweet swill that will brighten the cheeks of the maids and turn their “no”s into projectile vomit that one could mistake for a “yes”. Now more than ever, friends, we have to fight for our right to party. Only without the fighting. Nothing ruins a party quicker than a fight.

Can you tame ninja zombies? Can you ninja-fy tame zombies? Find out in this week’s episode of Zombie Radio Show, with Jazz-meister Jimmy Rudolph! In this week’s fester; Jimmy is certain it’s just stress and doesn’t want to talk about it! Trocador unveils the next generation in Bar Code Zombies; Can we please change the subject?! And J-Bo takes out Riker’s! With featured jazz artist Roy Eldridge! Zombie Radio Show– Radio you can See! Brought to you by Phantom at the Gershwin Theater! Make sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter! Jimmy Rudolph wants to know... Where have you been? It's 3 am!

Well, I tried, Jazz Fans. I bribed, threatened, cajoled, and even brought my super-magnet into the New School editing bay. I did everything in my power to repress this awful video of me in Vegas! And it still erupted, like an undead B-film star, onto the Tube of You!So I say, if you can’t beat ’em, ball-gag ’em, and weep over their oiled up bodies without being caught on tape, then join ’em. Let me get some of those big fat YouTube bucks! This is me at the Pollygrind Film Festival in Vegas-town, NV, where we were feted by the famous Chad Clinton Freeman. He invited the WZMB family out to host his ZombiePalooza night last October, and like idiots, we accepted. He was liberal with the tequila, but I make no excuses, my friends. I’m an adult, and I thought the girls were, too. By the way, J-Bo was there as well, and she is one mother of a bad influence. And we want to apologize to the bikers, but really, you should have walked away once you saw her tats. Y’know, I’m babbling, but I get nervous when I think of the assault soon to happen on your eyes. Please forgive me, and don’t flood me with negative comments. It’s all, the whole thing, it’s just so wrong…

Live, not Undead, but… Dead, not Unlive, but… Heyyy, Jazz Fans! Jimmy Rudolph here. You know, I’m not a big football fan. If I liked brutal senseless violence, I’d get my own mail. But when the Giants are in the game, it’s not enough to bogart the bean dip. I have to participate! And dammit, that’s just what I did. Check out your old pal Jimmy Rudolph at this year’s awesome Superbowl! I even got a little dough from Hyundai for my trouble. But the real story here, fans, is that I got to actually experience what it might be like to come back from the dead. And I’m here to tell you, it ain’t so bad. You get a driver, a check, and immortality!