Kagro in the Morning

Lucky us! David Waldman drops us off at the end of another week, a little wiser. How stupid is Donald K. Trump, at least in regard to his Iran war? Quite a bit! This little favor for Bibi and Vlad is beginning to get out of hand for Donald. Pete Hic!seth seems to be the only guy having any fun anymore. The worst part of being an idiot is when people keep pointing it out. Today, as every other day in the last 70 years or so, Trump has to prove his critics "wrong". A naturalized citizen who lost family members in Israeli strike on Lebanon confused a country with a religion, attacked a Detroit synagogue and was shot by security, which is paid for by grants if they aren't woke. Meanwhile, a shooter at Old Dominion University met good guys without guns who unalived him, nevertheless. New details emerge on Trump's tariff refunds, in that there's pretty much no chance of seeing them. If you are a callow, unserious, incurious, insular, sexist, racist, white code-bro given the keys to government, you too would find AI tools a handy timesaver. AI does also bite back. All of the crises the White House has claimed over the last 14 months were planned in advance. All of them. Rosalyn MacGregor returns with a Michigan update/fun fact: Michiganders apparently regularly schedule themselves propositions to convene constitutional conventions! And the next chance to do it is... now! Who knew? Well, you do now. That's so cute! Well, unless they want to try to use it to secede from the union. Do they want to? Easily triggered inarticulate dimwit Markwayne Mullin was the liaison between the Senate and the House.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to tell you much more about many more things. The Trumpiranian war continues… Not an "incursion" … an "excursion". Not a "quagmire", more of a "junket" of the sunny gulf. Not a "plan", "strategy," "policy," or "doctrine" … more of an… uhm… Donald K. Trump has always loved the straits, but lately they've become very nasty. Sad! Trump wants the tanker captains to just floor it and knock the blockades aside, but neither they nor the US Navy can be expected to show Trump bravery under pressure. Bahrain has to hire freelancers to crush their dissidents. Back around here, Gops approach the midterms with a doomed play for unity, while Latinos show everyone how it's done in Texas. A DOGE bro deposition demonstrates how handy AI is for lazy racists without moral guardrails. Meanwhile, Kash Patel outsources FBI training to UFC fighters. Jeffreeeeey Epsteeeeeeein! while we were watching people and things blowing up real good, new Trump-Epstein files were released, they are as bad as you'd expect, they're verifiable, and there is a money trail.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin take podmaxxing to the extreme, naturally the good extreme, on today's KITM. Greg reminds us that you can't treat responses from a fabulist president as serious answers… as referenced in the leading source of internet misinformation. Eh, if the posts are backed up on Blue Sky, they're probably good to go. Of course, you wouldn't expect more accuracy if the info came straight from this administration, because what would they know? Everyone's favorite war, Iran, continues. Merchant ships are hesitant to sail into the Strait of Hormuz, because they are afraid that they might blow up, because Iran has said that they will blow them up and the US says they won't be escorting them because they might blow up. Donald K. Trump says, Wait, what? Who's afraid of a bomb or two? His guys say the water's great, dive in! There can't be that many Khameinis left anymore, anyhow, and his boy J' red El Qush Nar has prime beachfront property to be developed as soon as his Grok figures out all the nuclear stuff. Republicans still like the war, but Americans do not. The new prices will make fewer admit that they are Republicans. Democrats will still tell you that they are moderate, when they are not. More elections flip, and more to come. Have we reached peak antisemitism-ism? Will anyone new from the Epstein files ever go to jail? Can Ed Martin be more of a contemptible contemptuous contemnor? John Cornyn, a long supporter of whatever, is now vehemently against it. She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi, is evacuated to a secure bunker as forces of justice close in.

David Waldman remains on chaos cleanup today, as this weekend's spill is a pretty big one. The Iran war is worse than Hell, this war is Trump. Is the war ending, or is it beginning? Yes. Have we destroyed and killed enough, or not enough? Yes. Does Donald K. Trump know what is happening? No. Does that matter? Again, no. Does Trump, himself, believe a word that he says? You could say "both". Did Jeffrey Epstein kill himself? Well, he was certainly asking for it. New Mexico prosecutors are just getting around to searching his property. Then there's Jeff's BFF Donald… so much is known, so little has been proven... or at least proven in court. Then again, the 2020 election has been settled, has been proven, and yet will never be settled or proven. If Dems don't win for 50 years or so, maybe Gops will let this slide. U.S. District Judge Matthew Brann rules that the triumvirate replacing Alina Habba in the District of NJ is illegal. Trump has a new method for determining the brownness of staff noses: Florsheim shoes. Retribution sights are being set again on Cassidy Hutchinson. Following the red yarn from her pushpin we find Alexander Butterfield — who revealed the existence of the Nixon White House taping system to the world (and more recently befriended Cassidy Hutchinson during the January 6th congressional probe), dead at 99, nutter Barry Loudermilk, who led pre-Jan 6 tours around the Capitol, and Marjorie Traitor Greene, soon to be replaced by someone crazier... or possibly not! Darrell Issa isn't running again, which is only good news. Somehow, most liberals still have no idea that the NY Times is a problem. Pssst... The Jan. 6 plaque honoring Capitol Police has been installed.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back to fight Trump chaos with their chaos. Like a lot of people right now floating outside Tehran and Basra, Singer-songwriter Country Joe McDonald was an enlisted Navy sailor. Like a lot of people right now, he gave an F-U-C-K about what we were doing, and now, sadly, whoopee, we are gonna do it again. The guy who cares the least about what we are fighting for is Donald K. Trump, as both problems and solutions make him equally angry. At least no new pronunciation guides will be needed for Iran's leadership, nor will anyone need to adjust their governance or diplomacy theories. Not that the US is expected to take into consideration… anything. We'll just commit our war crimes and be shocked when Iran commits theirs. Thousands are stranded in the area unless they're mogging with sufficient rizz... Polling indicates that Trump could neither mog nor rizz himself out of a paper bag. James Talarico can, however, and at almost Mamdaniesque levels… plus, James has JESUS. Take that MAGA! Trump should consider a nice track suit to match his hat the next time he attends the transfer of killed US service members. Ok, the DHS kidnaps, tortures, and kills a few people, but they'd never get in the way of spring break. The President feels their pain but refuses to sign any bill until Congress passes his anti-voting anti-trans act and gives him three scoops of ice cream. A woman born in the US has her immigration status put under review. She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi announces that state bar associations can't investigate misconduct by lawyers but hasn't figured out a way to keep Congress from investigating her misconduct. Meanwhile, this administration still holds a grudge for Cassidy Hutchinson and if they can't lock anyone else up, she might have to do.